The Red Fox turns her column over to Mr. Stephen Colbert this week. And good Lord is he excellent:
Surprised to see my byline here, aren’t you? I would be too, if I read The New York Times. But I don’t. So I’ll just have to take your word that this was published. Frankly, I prefer emoticons to the written word, and if you disagree :(
I’d like to thank Maureen Dowd for permitting/begging me to write her column today. As I type this, she’s watching from an overstuffed divan, petting her prize Abyssinian and sipping a Dirty Cosmotinijito. Which reminds me: Before I get started, I have to take care of one other bit of business:
Bad things are happening in countries you shouldn’t have to think about. It’s all George Bush’s fault, the vice president is Satan, and God is gay.
There. Now I’ve written Frank Rich’s column too.
Read the whole thing. His moral guidance is phenomenal.
Write in candidate: Cthulu
is there actually a BETTER choice?
or am i just being overly cynical?
I am in love with Stephen Colbert, I have to admit. In fact, I am seeing him in just two short weeks. I could not possibly be more excited.
Cthulu – pick the GREATER of two evils….
As for Colbert, he can marry me too, and I am awfully damn straight.
Although I enthusiastically chant, ¡ Ph’nglui mglw’nafh Cthulhu R’lyeh wgah’nagl fhtagn!”, the tentacled one was born on Vhoorl, and is thus barred from being president. I do suspect the Great Cthulhu is on the short list of Supreme Court nominees should the Republicans win the presidency in ’08.
With Cthulhu sitting at the bench he would ensure judgments made to appease the Republican base and ensure a universe in which humanity is an insignificant blot, destined to come and go, its appearance unnoticed, and eventual passing unmourned…
One of my favorite things about Stephen Colbert is that he’s now a mainstream geek sex icon. Geek is sexy.
*sigh* I looove Stephen.
Also, a Dirty Cosmotinijito sounds deliciously ridiculous. Maybe I’ll try to create one.
Re: to the Comment Crusade for Cthulhu
I can see it now: What’s a Tentacle-Faced Thing Like Me Doing in an Oval Office Like This? (Shout out to my man, Neil Gaiman!)
But Colbert is just amazing. I’m all about the Colbert/Stewart 08 ticket.
i love how he makes a point of calling her MISS dowds.
He’s a doctor, too, you know.
i have been saying that for years!
the man is a genius, and worthy of our praise!
and always good for a laugh…who doesn’t want to marry him?
is it wrong to be envious of his wife? ;)
I love him. I’m late to work most days because I stay up to watch him at 11:30. I could watch him on the earlier, 8:30 broadcast… but I prefer to watch him in bed ;)
HAHAHAHA! And with this, Colbert totally gives himself away as someone raised on James Island!
People around here say this all the time; Colbert likely first heard it from his own family: “What kind of accent is that? He ain’t from New York!”
Loved the piece, and thanks for the link, managed to crack up several people in my kitchen today!
*frowns*
*thinks*
*perks up*
Yeah, but he could EAT all the Republican candidates. Problem solved.
Actually, come to think about it, both definitions of “eat” would work, just so long as somebody takes good pictures.
OK Jill, how many ‘other boyfriends’ do you have exactly? Let’s see, there’s the Silver Fox, Keith Olbermann (the object of my own affection), now Colbert. You little slut, you! :D
Nooo Keith is Lauren’s. Don’t get it confused — she might really smack me if she thinks I’m moving in on her man.
My boyfriends are the Silver Fox (gay), Stephen Colbert (married), and Andy Samberg (single and totally waiting for me). I think that’s a good round-up…