Samhita points to this lovely Craig’s List post detailing how women are shallow bitches because we like men for who they are, what they accomplish and how they interact socially, as opposed to how they look. To which I say: …and?
Women are not actually attracted to men. There is a vague idea of what a man is physically, and some are better than others aesthetically speaking, but the purely physical appearance of a man is almost inconsequential unless he is horribly ugly or outrageously attractive.
Women are attracted to status, money, how much a man smiles and laughs, how many friends and resources a man has, how full a man’s life is–how many “cool,” “exciting” and prestigious things he is doing or connected to.
Sure, the whole prestige/status/resource thing is bullshit, but can someone explain to me why it’s bad to be attracted to how much someone smiles and laughs and how full his life is? Because, call me a shallow bitch (or a greedy materialistic prostitute, whatever), but when I’m evaluating potential partners, you bet I’m looking at how full his life is, if he’s happy with what he does, if he’s ambitious and passionate, if he’s created a life that satisfies him, if he socializes in the same ways that I do, if I find him interesting and fun. I’m looking for that well before I’m looking for six-pack abs or a square jawline.
A woman basically is a greedy materialistic prostitute. Although that sounds vulgar, it’s true. She trades her physical self to buy into the success a man has created for himself.
Unlike this guy, who totally doesn’t buy into the system of women exchanging their physical beauty for access to wealth and status:
As a man, I fall in love with how a woman is physically. I fall in love with simple parts of a woman. Like the way her hair falls around her face, the line of her neck, her shoulders. They way her ears might peek from her hair. Her eyelashes. The size and shape of her hands, her fingernails. The way she walks, the way she looks when she is tired or annoyed, the sound she makes when she sneezes, coughs, or cries. The way she sits in a chair. The way she breathes while experiencing different emotions. The way her lips move. A million little things.
A million little things, apparently, that have nothing to do with her personality, intelligence, or any other non-physical characteristic.
It’s a really fascinating post — the dude is pissed that women look for something other than physical attractiveness in men, and he berates them for using their physical appearance to snag boyfriends. Then he holds himself up as a beacon of romance for only caring about physical appearance.
Sure, a huge part of my attraction is mental, but the powerful seed of love that builds within me and crystallizes is based greatly on visual things that set off torrents of emotion and need.
Who wants to bet that this guy’s love is building and crystallizing for his Canadian internet girlfriend, who he’s going to meet just as soon as she gets a break from all the modeling she’s been doing lately?
It seems to me that women almost cannot think for themselves. Their estimates of worth are based on other peoples’ estimates of worth. They don’t really find an object beautiful on their own. The object becomes beautiful when other people let her know that it is beautiful.
Or they don’t think of people as objects in the first place.
I’m completely unable to reconcile the differences between men and women. It seems like success with women is equal to spending half of your life working to create a giant illusion, something vastly tiring and annoying, while sacrificing your own true self and your own interests. We construct our lives around nest-building. We’re like male birds building nests and showing them off to attract mates. It’s pathetic. Everything we do is to get women. It is a fucking shit deal.
It is a fucking shit deal if everything you’re doing is simply to get women, and not to make yourself happy or achieve your own goals. Any guesses as to why he’s still single?
Someone needs to invent a drug which has no hormonal imbalance side-effects but is able to erase a man’s sex drive and attraction to women. It would increase productivity rates to incredible heights. I’d be free and happy. I’d feel complete. I’d be able to concentrate on my biochemistry studying.
Something tells me that it’s not devious women who are distracting him from his biochemistry studying, but a fast internet connection, well-honed masturbation skills and the self-control of a 14-year-old boy.*
And perhaps he should talk to Lou Sheldon about the drug that erases one’s attraction to women.
*Which isn’t to say that masturbation exhibits a lack of self-control. But masturbating all day long when you have other shit to do — like your biochemistry studying — does.
- Equal-Opportunity Crappy Dating Advice by Jill November 15, 2005
- Can’t Win. by Jill January 15, 2007
- Shorter Donald Trump: I poke it, I own it by Jill October 29, 2007
- Actually, I think it has something to do with our periods and moon cycles and blood and stuff. Can I write for Esquire now? by Jill October 20, 2009
- The Pill makes you attracted to pansies by Jill October 13, 2009