Want.

treepic0.jpg

Seriously, a pink tree. Love it.

I grew up with real trees, and I tend to prefer them (just ask my super, who intercepted me trying to get a 10-foot tree through the door by myself a couple of years ago — well, there’s a garden center a couple of blocks away, and I have a wheelie cart, and high ceilings, and it didn’t look all that big or unmanageable when it was outside, at least until I tried to get it in the door). Since then, I’ve sort of discovered the beauty of fake trees.

But if I’m gonna have a fake tree, it’s not going to be passing as a real tree. I want 50s white, or 80s pink, or silver. If I want a green tree, I’m going for the full fire hazard and getting myself a Douglas fir that’s been sitting out in the cold for a while and then spiked into my heavy-duty iron treestand.

Embrace the faux. That’s my motto.

27 comments for “Want.

  1. Hector B.
    November 6, 2007 at 8:18 pm

    My great-aunt had a beautiful 60s aluminum tree, with thread-wrapped styrofoam balls for ornaments. Because a string of lights might short to the aluminum, a spotlight with a slowly turning three-color filter lit it up with colored light.

  2. exholt
    November 6, 2007 at 8:20 pm

    Have a 10 year old faux white tree that looks great with the lights and decorations.

    It was a big improvement over not having any sort of tree growing up due to space and economic constraints. Now if only I can find a reasonably sized singing talking venus flytrap to complete the holiday decor. :)

  3. zuzu
    November 6, 2007 at 8:30 pm

    When I (briefly) lived in Manhattan, I had a small potted rosemary bush shaped like a tree, that I decorated with my earrings. God, that smelled good, though not necessarily Christmas-like. Now I’ve got a much bigger place, with fresh trees sold around the corner and a super who’s more than willing to help me get the tree inside and properly watered if it means fewer needles all over the hallways and basement later.

    Though I have a bunch of really cool ornaments that I got at a cut-rate price from MoMA several years ago that would look best on a white tree. So I’m all torn.

    I grew up in exurbia, so there were always lots of pine trees, lots of space and lots of lights on houses. One of the most beautiful displays I’ve ever seen was along Route 24 from Morristown to Mendham, NJ; a guy with a lot of property and a pond lit up the pine trees around his pond, so they reflected in the pond.

    I should start pushing cloves into oranges soon; that’s a fairly cheap office gift that people really appreciate despite its cost

  4. November 6, 2007 at 8:30 pm

    Want want want! I’ve spent the last few Christmases at my aunt’s. I miss decorating my own fake tree and getting my drink on in front of the sparkly lights.

  5. FashionablyEvil
    November 6, 2007 at 9:25 pm

    Really, Zuzu? I used to think so highly of you. ;)

  6. November 6, 2007 at 9:27 pm

    agreed. the whole point of artifice is that it -isn’t- nature. why be dull? yay SPARKLY PINK trees! *koff* *koff*

  7. Mnemosyne
    November 6, 2007 at 9:34 pm

    We need a tree that the cats won’t knock over, especially since Keaton was absolutely convinced last year that knocking our small (4 foot) tree over was the object of a fabulous new game. We never even got to put ornaments on it.

    Now he’s a big, muscular 12-pound cat, so I’m afraid he could knock over anything under 10 feet, and we just don’t have room for something that big, especially if he starts chasing Annie up and down the branches.

  8. November 6, 2007 at 10:32 pm

    I like the faux trees, too. And the faux fur and faux meat and faux vintage bicycle (seriously, why ride on an old, heavy, rusted, crappy bike when you can ride on a new one that looks old?)… I like faux.

    I have a silver tree. But honestly, I’m sort of growing out of the whole tree thing altogether. I’m leaning towards cactus instead these days.

  9. November 6, 2007 at 10:33 pm

    You don’t really want a “50s white”. They made the fake snow out of asbestos.

  10. preying mantis
    November 6, 2007 at 11:25 pm

    Man. I wonder if my mom’s going to be doing her space-tree again this year. She’s got one of those retro silver trees. She decorates it with bubble lights. It looks so very much like it should be in the background of some cheap BBC classic sci-fi show’s “Christmas 2021” episode.

  11. Michelle
    November 6, 2007 at 11:29 pm

    A couple of years ago one of the local garden centers was selling artificial trees in black. They looked positively spectacular with lots of gold and silver in them.

    I’ve also seen some lovely warm “fall metallic” colours appearing that could be kind of fun!

    (and yes, I remember my parents having what we always called a “tinsel tree” for years – always loved it)

  12. November 6, 2007 at 11:40 pm

    Clicked on the blog, that picture came up, Keith said, “That Christmas tree looks like a penis.”

    Now he wants to know where he can get a Christmas tree that looks like a penis.

    Yes, he’s Not Right.

  13. November 6, 2007 at 11:57 pm

    I saw a black one at the local Borders. I am gonna buy it and make little skull and bat ornaments and have the Goffiest tree EVAR.

  14. Em
    November 7, 2007 at 12:48 am

    zuzu, I think I’ve seen the light display of which you speak. Rt. 24 to Mendham/Chester: richest little corner of Jersey.

  15. ErinPD
    November 7, 2007 at 1:29 am

    I have a little plastic tree with pre-strung color lights. My grandpa bought it for me, $20 or something at a craft store. It was really nothing special…until…

    I TURNED IT INTO A MARDI GRAS TREE!!

    Oh hell yes. With masks and beads and everything. Pink, purple, green and blue everywhere. I love my little cheap tree. I want to put it up now…but it’s too soon.

  16. arielladrake
    November 7, 2007 at 6:11 am

    PixelFish: My partner bought a black tree for his office. Sadly, semester is over and he’s not teaching over summer, so I don’t get to hear stories of Marketing/Commerce students wandering in to discover a black Christmas tree in their Prof’s office.Because that would be lolarious.

  17. Kat
    November 7, 2007 at 8:40 am

    Seriously, a pink tree. Love it.

    Hey, remember Mrs. O across the street? The showpiece of her “good” living room was her rotating silver tinsel tree with the multi-color spotlight that constantly changed color. Oh, and I think it played music too. And the fabulous part about it was that it was the early 80’s so it was far from being “retro”–it was just plain ol’ leftover 70’s tacky crap. But she loved it.

    Rt. 24 to Mendham/Chester: richest little corner of Jersey.

    I think this makes me old, but I remember when that area was just a couple of new neighborhoods in a farm town–a charming close-knit community. It was just outside of the reasonable commute to NYC, so it was a hidden gem. Now its gotten so uppity. And the sad thing is that the long-time residents, who are not wealthy like the influx of new residents, may have to leave because many cannot afford the ever-rising property taxes.

    a guy with a lot of property and a pond lit up the pine trees around his pond, so they reflected in the pond.

    That was the Gerbers. As in baby food. And remember Sandrellen? Just past Hilltop Church? That was always spectacular, too.

  18. Kat
    November 7, 2007 at 8:43 am

    My great-aunt had a beautiful 60s aluminum tree, with thread-wrapped styrofoam balls for ornaments. Because a string of lights might short to the aluminum, a spotlight with a slowly turning three-color filter lit it up with colored light.

    OHMIGOD! I think your great-aunt might be our neighbor Mrs. O! This describes her tree perfectly ;)

  19. November 7, 2007 at 9:46 am

    Every time I see the RED trees at Target, I want one! But my little green fake tree is still in decent shape.

  20. Ledasmom
    November 7, 2007 at 10:04 am

    Clicked on the blog, that picture came up, Keith said, “That Christmas tree looks like a penis.”

    I am not sure if I should be more concerned about Keith’s eyesight or, you know, elsewhere.

    We need a tree that the cats won’t knock over, especially since Keaton was absolutely convinced last year that knocking our small (4 foot) tree over was the object of a fabulous new game

    We once decorated a large pepper plant with lights and so forth, which was fine until one of our less-intelligent cats somehow got himself tangled in it and took off under the sofa without having untangled himself. Dirt everywhere.

  21. November 7, 2007 at 10:25 am

    Back home, my parents have an absolutely amazing fake tree. I dunno if anyone else has ever been to one of those christmas tree competitions, but that’s where my parents picked this one up. It’s got these classic decorations, all red and gold and such, and then these little simplistic french horns over the whole thing … THAT YOU CAN ACTUALLY PLAY. Not well, of course, but I always got a kick out of being able to blow a horn attached to my christmas tree. XD

  22. November 7, 2007 at 10:59 am

    LOL. He is horribly near-sighted and will not wear his glasses, that’s true.

  23. Mary Kay
    November 7, 2007 at 7:28 pm

    I’ll never forget the year my mom talked us into letting her do the tree her way. Her way as a flocked white tree with big shiny turquoise balls. Ick. Based on where we lived at the time this was 1959-1961. So yeah, very 50s.
    And we never again had anything but a real tree. I still insist on a real tree though I thought my husband was going to divorce over the 10 ft one. Damn those things are heavy. So the next year I had 2 five-foot trees. LOL.

    MKK

  24. November 7, 2007 at 7:42 pm

    We need a tree that the cats won’t knock over, especially since Keaton was absolutely convinced last year that knocking our small (4 foot) tree over was the object of a fabulous new game

    The biggest of our 3 moggies weighs in at a good stone and they don’t knock over our tree…

    They do hide in it, though, and make it wobble, and cheekily bat at some of the decorations to try to make them fall out… And don’t even get me started on the time I tried putting up a few foil-wrapped chocolate decorations…

    Walking into the front room on the run up to Christmas when you’ve not had coffee yet is exciting, to say the least, with the odd hollow, cheap-sparkly-ball waiting underfoot…

    But seriously, just anchor the base good and securely and even a 5-6ft tree should be fine.

  25. K.T. Slager
    November 7, 2007 at 7:43 pm

    Some time ago I had the general attitude of “UGGHHH PINK I HATE IT SO MUCH GAAHH NOOO GIRLY BLAAHH AWFUL ETC ETC”, until I had a roommate who, rather unintentially, convinced me that pink is an okay color. Now it’s my favorite. My FAVORITE. Yes, I have the pink phone, the pink iPod mini, the pink Chuck Taylors. AND I WANT THIS PINK TREE MORE THAN ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.

  26. Angiportus
    November 8, 2007 at 8:51 am

    I recall being entranced, at 8 years old, by a lot full of pink, yellow and blue trees. Of course my unimaginative parents just got a green one. If I ever start celebrating Yule/solstice with a symbolic evergreen, it will be a fake one that I don’t have to replant or feel guilty about discarding…but I think I’ll go for a blood-red one, if I can find a little tiny one. The black one sounds good, though…

  27. House of Mayhem
    November 8, 2007 at 1:30 pm

    **My great-aunt had a beautiful 60s aluminum tree, with thread-wrapped styrofoam balls for ornaments. Because a string of lights might short to the aluminum, a spotlight with a slowly turning three-color filter lit it up with colored light.

    We had that one too, mid to late ’60’s

Comments are closed.