Here’s a beautiful example of male college students who think that being offensive is the same thing as being funny: The Sentinal “humor” piece “Mock of Love.” It’s a set of “spoof” suggestions for the second season of the VH1 Bret Michaels dating show Rock of Love. The irony is that if you’ve ever watched Rock of Love (you won’t admit to it, so I’ll do it for you), you’ll know that no one could mock the show better than its mere existence does. The jokes write themselves — including the incredibly misogynist ones.
Now, I can’t say that we should expect much from a publication whose poll in the sidebar looks like this (the options are bad enough, but what people actually chose is even worse). But Antonio Ciaccia takes things to a whole new level of douchery, managing to insult everyone on pretty much the most vile terms possible, and miserably failing to actually be funny.
Ciaccia assumes that making fun of normal women and calling them whores just doesn’t cut it in the humor department, anymore. So he decides to suggest female celebrities who could be on the show and call them whores!
The first of his “cuntidates” (yes, that is his “word” — funny already, huh?) is Lindsay Lohan:
No-brainer here. Lindsay is a perfect fit for the show. Coke, booze, attitude, baggage, herpes.
Then, Nancy Grace:
Her constant bitching and nagging is all Bret needs to keep him on the straight and narrow. And not only will Nancy entertain Bret as his new bitchy dominatrix, but she will undoubtedly entertain us as she takes the other bitches to task for being dirty whores.
Hillary Clinton, of course:
To be honest, Hillary might be the total package for Bret. She’s got fame, fortune, and after years of being with Slick Willy, she’ll be able to handle Bret’s eternal appetite for cocaine and strippers. Being Bret’s girlfriend takes thick skin, and judging by the size of her ass, Hillary’s got thickness covered.
Oprah, because what good is misogyny if you don’t have any racism to back it up?
Sticking with fat bitches, that brings us to Oprah. Sure, she may not be a perfect fit for Bret, but who cares? Having Oprah on the show is more of a utilitarian selection. After all, including Oprah on the project ensures that millions of dumb, lonely broads will tune in every week. Plus, adding Oprah helps the show to meet its minority quota so Jesse Jackson doesn’t have a black attack (like a heart attack, only blacker).
In the same vein, Jennifer Lopez:
After years of Hispanic women cleaning up his trashed hotel rooms, Bret could be ready to have one clean up his heart. Jennifer Lopez is always looking for more fans, and she’s one of the best at providing multiple personas for multiple demographics to embrace. A flip of the channel can take you from the fashionable, well-spoken Jennifer Lopez to the Puerto Rico representin’, street J-Lo whose pronunciation of the letter “r” sounds more like five-minute machine gun shooting spree.
And lastly, Scarlett Johansson:
She has slept with every celebrity she can get her hands on – from Derek Jeter to Benicio Del Toro, Scarlett has proven that she’ll do whatever and WHOever it takes to make it big – and Bret Michaels is no exception. As far as “Rock of Love” girls go, Scarlett would serve as a good moral compass for the rest of the contestants. She may sleep around and reject the concept of monogamy, but when it comes to her love hole, she’s totally clean. According to Scarlett, she gets tested for HIV twice a year.
I quote so extensively, despite how painful it is, because I honestly cannot remember when I last saw so many hateful slurs compiled in one place. But, then again, I also avoid message boards for a reason. In any case, the quoted statements are truncated, and no, the parts I left out are not any better.
The thing is, the article makes absolutely no sense. Out of six women, at least three are married and one is in a very serious, long-term relationship, and it goes without saying that they’re all far too famous and/or sane to be involved in such a ridiculous show or with Bret Michaels. Nope, Ciaccia just felt like calling some women sluts — rich and/or powerful women, by the way — and so he pounced on the first really bad excuse that he could find.
Maybe it’s just me, but I always find the bizarre but possible to be funnier than the outrageously improbable. But then again, Ciaccia clearly doesn’t understand humor. In addition to this piece being spectacularly offensive, I really haven’t got the slightest clue what anyone would find to be funny about “stupid fat ugly cunt bitches are nasty ho sluts especially when they’re not white.” Maybe someone can clue me in, but I somehow don’t think that it has anything to do with feminists being “humorless.” Seriously, is this what asshole men think is funny?
It seems to me that Ciaccia is one of those privileged jackasses with the inexplicable “women won’t sleep with me so they must be sluts” complex. The good news, of course, is that any woman who Googles his name knows to run in the opposite direction. The bad news is that not every woman Googles a man’s name before going out with him.
Hat tip to Donna for finding the article. She points out more objectionable content in The Sentinal, which is an independent paper for Ohio State University, asks why the school allows this hate-speech filled crap to be distributed all over campus, and how current students and alumni feel about it. I have to say that I’d be interested in an answer, myself. Everyone, including these idiots, has a right to free speech. There is absolutely no reason why this paper should not be able to be printed and distributed wherever they are legally allowed. But universities also have the right (and many would argue a responsibility) to make sure that hate is not spread on their property and to make sure that students feel safe.
So, students of Ohio State, Feministe is a big blog and I’m sure that there’s at least a few of you out there. I’m giving you a platform. The same goes for everyone (who is not going to use the opportunity to tell us why misogyny and racism are okay), future, past and present college students, and anyone else who likes to ponder the hypothetical. How would you feel about having this on your campus, sitting in the buildings where you go to class? And would you either expect or want your university to do anything about it?
[...] [cross-posted from Feministe] [...]
Agree 100%
There is a humor newspaper on our campus, but it’s actually funny and nothing like this. While you can’t expect college publications to be totally free of bigotry, The Sentenial is completely filled with racist and sexist pieces. I read some of their ‘headlines,’ and all I could think of was ‘Are they serious? They’re dedicating a paper to hate speech!’ While I would be upset if my university curtailed my first admendment rights, I think there’s a point where something needs to be said. Essentially, when the hate speech is SO rampant that it’s not a joke (or funny) any more (was it ever funny?), then the editors/publishers need to be told to clean up the paper. I don’t expect them to clean up the ‘humor’ section, though, because you can still justify sexist/racist slurs as ‘humor.’
Heather, good points but I would also like to point out that The Sentinal does not seem to be an officially sponsored publication. It’s an independent medium for the Ohio State audience. I can see how that’s unclear in the post and I’m going to go clarify it now.
I don’t know what’s worse, the articles, or the comments on them.
I think I need to scrub my brain.
With bleach, ammonia, something really strong. Ack.
Regardless of the fact that I’m actually related to several dozen people who would find those articles funny, it always surprises me that anyone finds humor in crap like that. It’s just mean, there’s no funny to be found, not even a little. It’s just mean and offensive.
Someone like Antonio Ciaccia would have avoided my alma mater (Oberlin College) like the plague like several of my high school classmates due to its reputation for progressive radical left student activism.
When I was there, the few who may hold racist, misogynist, anti-GBLT, pro-free market, anti-communist, or conservative views usually learn quickly that open expression of such opinions were rarely tolerated by the student body at large. I learned that first-hand by refuting the overly romantic pro-Maoist views held by many upper/upper-middle class suburban classmates in my Chinese history and politics courses.
Moreover, I witnessed firsthand how the protests and yelling was directed against two WOC friends in a human rights group by those from another progressive group because of the “Genocide sucks” phrase in their posters calling for an anti-genocide campus protest.
Considering what happened to those two friends or what happened to a brave, but foolhardy college Republican who dared place a Dole ’96 campaign poster on his/her door one evening only to have it torn down and shredded the following morning, Antonio Ciaccia would have faced campus wide protests, being yelled and called out everywhere he went on and around campus, and a high probability of facing the judicial board for hate speech with the possibility of being suspended/expelled.
That is not to say that there weren’t students who managed to hold onto racist, misogynist, anti-GBLT, pro-free market, anti-communist, or conservative views till/after graduation. One famous example is Michelle Malkin, Class of 1990. :(
(Slightly OT)
Best excuse for missing work:
“I can’t come in today–my stigmata’s acting up!”
Ok, I’m a former OSU grad (2005) and I still work at the University. I have never even heard of this piece of shit Sentinel or Antonio Ciaccia . I did an anecdotal office poll and no one else has either. It is either a fairly new publication or just not very widely read.
What, no comparison to Ring Lardner or other Midwestern humorists?
That’s for info, Ashlie. That makes me feel a bit better.
I have a shirt for mysterious and baffling reasons that says “Property of Ohio State University Athletic Program.”
I wear it because it looks very nice on me, but I have no idea how my mother came to own it (I stole it from her).
Dude, you really need to tuck in some of those neuroses, because it’s really creepy that you’re so upset that Scarlett will date a famous black baseball player and a famous Puerto Rican actor, but won’t appear on a sleazy dating show with a has-been bottle-blond “rock star.” Because … um, because he’s white and the other guys aren’t, so clearly she’ll fuck anyone?
In your dreams, dude.
(For the record, I can take or leave Jeter — too All-American for me — but Del Toro? Oh yeah, baby.)
No tongues in any cheeks here, just bludgeoning with a sledgehammer. Completely different tones between the two articles.
It’s understandable that people… billions worldwide… would be concerned about the continued well-being of the guy that penned “Unskinny Bop.”
One of the pieces that Donna linked to was satirical, and not the type of “satire” that is usually found in college newspapers…
Read it again:
Why A Woman Should Never Even Think Of Running for President
I actually didn’t read it the first time, because I found plenty of objectionable content on my own and didn’t feel like getting more angry. I just read the first page now, and yeah it does seem to be satire. It doesn’t seem to be really well written satire, though.
Actually, I was hoping that the whole paper was satire. Really hoping. And then I went and read enough articles to become convinced that sadly, it’s not.
And I think that I’m missing a reference . . . what kind of satire is usually found in college newspapers?
Okay, Cara, I’ll bite. “What kind of satire is usually found in college newspapers?”
Would that be “What is excremental?”
Brilliant.
To whomever made this, I’d like to use it as one of my LiveJournal icons.
Reading that reminds me distinctly of the current issues surrounding a Crimson White (University of Alabama) columnist. Nothing says funny like a man who “will fight to my last breath, however, against [LGBT peoples'] right to teach children about sex change operations in kindergarten.”
I’ve always got my phalloplasty diagrams ready whenever I’m near a group of five-year-olds.
trashdog, apparently all the links I provided and even the poll are considered humor or satire at that rag. Why am I not finding any of it funny?
I don’t know how they will end up handling it. At our school there are two humour papers. One is pretty good and while it has a lot of “yay getting drunk” humour at times, it takes a lot of cues from the Onion.
The other one is the usual “satire” which prided itself on being as offensive as possible and as filled with hate as possible. Needless to say it drew a lot of hot water and so crossed the line that even with an insane dedication to free speech, the school ended up shutting down the paper.
The editor, white, priveledged and in his 6th or 7th year of his bachelor’s program, began paying for the paper out of his pocket and redoubling his free distribution campaign. He definitely developed a God complex about it as well as it’s all male staff.
It’s still around and most of the people just collectively ignore the whole thing as if it doesn’t exist. After it’s distributed, the walkway is covered in the quickly thrown out copies. The other humour paper disappears into dorm rooms about a day after distribution.