Need.

by Jill on 12.4.2007 · 26 comments

in Holidays & Celebrations, Humor

troops.jpg

The product description* is the best part:

Protect our troops – from the womb to the war. What if the fetus you were going to abort would grow up to be a soldier bringing democracy to a godless dictatorship?

Plastic replica of an 11-12 week old fetus, 3″ long, holding a firearm in its precious little hand, with an assortment of other military paraphernalia, encased in a translucent plastic ornament, with a patriotic yellow ribbon on top. Includes a metal ornament hanger. If only a womb were this safe, attractive and reasonably priced!

Show that you support the “culture of life” by buying and proudly displaying one of these patriotic unborn Americans.

Also available in a “Brown” model

Sent on by Shankar, my favorite curmudgeonly closet oligarchist, who assures me that, “No doubt all your commie readers would get a kick out if it.”

I hope you did.

______________________________
*The description is a joke. But the ornament — praise Jesus — is real. And I would totally buy it and hang it on my tree, but I think my mom would yell at me. Then laugh. But then take it down.

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Gun toting in the womb! « Feminist Cupcake
12.5.2007 at 11:49 am

{ 25 comments }

1 exholt 12.4.2007 at 6:40 pm

Hmmm…

Fetuses as paratroopers using yellow parachutes. At least that’s what the ornament looks like from a distance.

2 kactus 12.4.2007 at 7:01 pm

oh hell no.

so a dying tree branch is safer to hang around in than a womb? ok then.

3 kactus 12.4.2007 at 7:03 pm

ok I’m a bit slow on the update–the store is real and the product is real but the whole thing is a joke. Right?

In which case do I feel gullible.

4 Kimmijo 12.4.2007 at 7:03 pm

I thought the fetus I was going to abort was Beethoven.

5 brandann 12.4.2007 at 7:12 pm

want.

seriously.

6 Red Queen 12.4.2007 at 7:20 pm

B- me too! I think I want an all fetus tree now

7 Red Queen 12.4.2007 at 7:22 pm

maybe with some empty pill packs and shiny foil condom packages to fill in with.

8 Eileen 12.4.2007 at 7:38 pm

Is it intended as a joke? Because if so, I’m buying one for everyone on my Christmas list!

I’ll have to check out the site and see.

9 Andrew 12.4.2007 at 8:24 pm

Ew.

Eileen, misspoppy.com is a jokey site that collects and displays real products (unless I’ve been fooled).

10 Kate 12.4.2007 at 9:18 pm

If you like that, you might also like this:

http://www.cafepress.com/maggiemuldoon.139154022

Same kind of idea. It’s also available on a men’s shirt.

(Disclosure: I’m friends with the artist.)

11 zuzu 12.4.2007 at 11:46 pm

Is it wrong that I want to take that apart and make little fetus molds so I could make fetus chocolates?

12 blair 12.5.2007 at 12:27 am

Is that supposed to convince me to oppose abortion? Because if I had an ultrasound and the fetus was holding a machine gun, I would totally have an abortion.

13 exholt 12.5.2007 at 1:10 am

Is it wrong that I want to take that apart and make little fetus molds so I could make fetus chocolates?

Milk chocolate, dark chocolate, or white chocolate? :)

14 Cola Johnson 12.5.2007 at 1:45 am

Aww… he’s such a little (para)trooper. =)

15 Siduri 12.5.2007 at 2:03 am

It’s the godly Giant Space-Baby from the end of 2001!

And he’s out for blood.

16 Blunderbuss 12.5.2007 at 6:26 am

No no, RASPBERRY chocolate. With a gooey red centre. XD

17 Esme 12.5.2007 at 6:50 am

This combines my “favorite” bits of Republicanism, all in one!

1. The idea of encouraging the poor to breed to create soldiers for war (since women tend to cite financial reasons for abortion, and low income women have lower access to the preventative birth control and health care needed)
2. Those tacky yellow ribbons, most of which seem to be produced in China
3. A love of guns, to the degree that putting a gun in the hands of a FETUS sounds like a good idea.
4. The idea of giving birth as a duty that women perform for their nations
5. The absurd notion that a fetus without a woman (and her womb) is anything but a lump of dead tissue.

18 SunlessNick 12.5.2007 at 8:38 am

The absurd notion that a fetus without a woman (and her womb) is anything but a lump of dead tissue.

In their world, it’s the other way round.

So, is it a joke?

19 ElleBeMe 12.5.2007 at 10:23 am

Includes a metal ornament hanger.

Oh the irony….

20 TinaH 12.5.2007 at 11:49 am

Holy Mother of God. I’m flabbergasted.

21 ekf 12.5.2007 at 11:57 am

I love you people.

22 Karen 12.5.2007 at 12:39 pm

Keep your baby alive…so it can kill many other mothers children!

23 Aura Kitten 12.5.2007 at 3:13 pm

zuzu, the site also has just little fetus models… so you wouldn’t have to take apart the ornament. You could just use one of the other ones. I think the one I saw was like, “10-12 weeks preborn.”

Mmmm babies.

and blair, this –Is that supposed to convince me to oppose abortion? Because if I had an ultrasound and the fetus was holding a machine gun, I would totally have an abortion.– made me literally Laugh Out Loud.
and I’m at work.
I had several very odd stares.
o.o

24 Joy 12.5.2007 at 3:48 pm

I know! You just can’t help laughing at it. I’m actually kind of sad that it isn’t serious– because it makes it a little bit more funny (and scary) that way.

25 Sarah 12.6.2007 at 4:14 am

The ornament is out of stock.

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