I’ve only got a few minutes before I have to get ready to go see my new doctor, but I thought I’d throw this out there for the women in the audience.
Why the fuck does an almost-48 year old woman still need to ovulate? For that matter, why still menstruate? It’s not like I’m planning on fucking a man, getting my eggs fertilized, or giving birth at this point in my life. I thought, naively, that at 48 I would no longer be faithfully supporting the Kotex corporation. Boy, was I wrong.
Ladies, apparently I’m still a fertile piece of woman flesh. I don’t know if that’s supposed to make me laugh or cry. But if my damn period doesn’t stop for good–and soon–I’m tempted to get pregnant just on general priniciple. And then haul myself off to the abortion clinic for laughs afterwards.
Well, there’s a slight and unproven association between good health and continued menstration until later in life, if that makes you feel any better. And you’ll probably have stronger bones when you’re 90 than if you’d stopped menstrating at 45. On the downside, please make sure you get screened for breast cancer regularly: the longer the time between menarche and menopause, the higher the risk of breast cancer. If that helps your decision as to whether to laugh or cry any.
My mom started menstruating at age 10 and didn’t really complete menopause until she was in her late 50s. Lordloveaduck, but she was pissed off each time her period came during the End Days. Happily, she’s over that now.
I fear for my family when the End Times come upon me!
At 46, I no longer have a “period;” I have a “random.”
And I had my tubes tied at the age of 34, so these fluids have been useless for a good long time.
A Mirena IUD has ended my womanly flow. It’s only the greatest thing EVAR.
You don’t have to support the Kotex anything, of course. That’s a personal choice. There are a thousand ways to deal with the blood, even if it’s super heavy flow time (sounds like a bonus level in a Japanese video game!)
My friends are all getting into this:
http://www.divacup.com/
which seems to work well, although having never tried it myself, I can’t vouch.
Heya kactus, I was 48 when mine quit, so hang in there.
Niki, the divacup is awesome, but I say that as someone who doesn’t need one now, so kinda easy to get all high and mighty about it! ;)
I gave one to my daughter, who looked at me as if I had lost my mind: “You do what?”
Quite frankly, I dunno if I could rinse out a divacup in a public toilet. I suppose I could try to hide the fact that I was doing it, which bring to mind all kindsa funny I-Love-Lucy/Laverne & Shirley moments, like possibly dropping it on the floor or clumsily tossing it into someone else’s sink.
Laverne: “That’s a toy for my —my—–my–”
Shirley: “Her nephew!”
Laverne: “He’s practicing to be a doctor!”
Etc. The possibilities are endless.
:D
I suspect, because of the correlation with good health, that’s it a result of body overcompensation tactics that are troublesome in an environment where we have enough. For instance, our bodies store more fat than we need if we’re eating *enough*, because we evolved in starvation environments. I bet it’s the same with menstruation. Our bodies fight to stay fertile for a long time, and if we were all starving, we’d probably poop out around 38, 40 years old. But even if we don’t have enough money to eat well, most of us eat enough, and our bodies are reacting accordingly and extending our fertile periods. Just a out of my ass theory, though.
Average age of menopause is 51, so I’ve probably got a decade still to go. But it’s already starting to get wacky — will this time be a short cycle? a long cycle? 2-3 days of the barest pink tinge before it really starts? ugh. I’m a 41-year-old lesbian, can I just be done with this now??
I tried Lybrel, but it “stopped” my period via having breakthrough bleeding. After having pantyliner light flow every damn day (and risking getting it on the sheets every time I had sex), I gave up and went back to getting a regular period. Better heavy 4 days a month than light every damn day.
I second the Mirena (age 45 here). It’s the next best thing to menopause.
I’ll have to look into Mirena. I’ve already had my tubes tied, so it seems kind of pointless to continue having periods.
I went on the Depo shot, and I had my period (not spotting but a light to medium flow) for three months straight.
Beat that!
Went back on the pill at 39 because I was menstruating every damn two weeks. I want my remaining years of good sex to not be interrupted by migraines, heavy flows that get messy, cramping, et al. I kept hoping for menopause but it was not forthcoming. Since my blood pressure is naturally low, and I don’t smoke, I’ll just stay on it forever.
I had an endometrial ablation at 50, and oh dog, was that ever cool! No more heavy periods, no more fuss. No idea if I’m still ovulating, and I don’t care.
I have been taking the Pill for about six years, and am considering stopping in favor of another method (maybe hormonal, maybe not). But I am afraid of how bad my period and cramps will be! I stopped taking the Pill for one month once a few years ago and it was the most hellish period ever. I don’t remember it being that bad in my pre-Pill days, so I don’t know if it was my body adjusting to not having the Pill or what. Either way, can any of you weigh in?
I had fibroid tumors for a little over a year that meant that I had extremely heavy (you don’t want to know) to medium flow for 3 weeks every month until I was so anemic, even while taking super strength iron supplements, I should have been hospitalized. My doctor told me I had better get a hysterectomy, which I did. I think I have you beat Peggy-ness.
Well, I’m 54 and things are finally starting to slow down. I’ve been in perimenopause (unreliable periods, different arrays of PMS symptoms) so long that I barely remember what my period was like before. After you’re 40, you should just be able to turn it off. And still enjoy sex, of course.
My mom is 51 and was told recently by her doctor that she had the ovaries of a 30 year old woman. Which sucks for her. And probably my sisters and I as well, since we’re all hyper fertile in my family and that’s what we have to look forward to.
And I want the Mirena really, really bad, but the insurance won’t cover it. Hopefully I’ll be able to afford it in the spring or summer, because I’m done with kids, don’t want surgery, and can’t see the point of having a period anymore.
Wither the male opinions on this topic? Usually we have so much to say. :D
Aww, d’you feel excluded? You’re welcome to join in, but only if you enthusiastically endorse the rights of women everywhere to piss and moan about bleeding and otherwise leaking once a month. And you don’t get to talk about whatever leaky stuff men have to put up with, cuz let’s face it–that’s just gross.
SarahMC: I was on the Pill for 7 years and my PMS symptoms got better (cramping, in particular) after that, but that tends to happen to women in my family. Start heavy and painful at age 11 and everything very gradually winds down starting in the 20s until menopause in the 50s. You may be pleasantly surprised.
Echoing Dianne’s post, I think there may actually be research connecting continued menstruation in general (at any age) and increased bone health, decreased cancer risk and the joy of always having something to complain about! My periods aren’t that bad. They aren’t a picnic, either, mind you, but I’d feel weird not having them – like I was forcing my body to do something unnatural (but that’s just me). I guess periods are a reminder to me that I’m human, that it’s ok to make mistakes and be uncertain (a reminder I sorely need).
I definitely endorse the cup – though I have the Keeper, rather than the Diva, and have no idea if one’s better than the other. It’s not perfect (unlike a lot of women, I occasionally find it a *tiny* bit uncomfortable to insert/remove), but it saves me a whole lotta money (with the added benefit of not creating waste). And I’ve never had to wash it out in a public restroom – it holds a lot, so even when my period is at its heaviest I just change it in the morning and at night.
He he he, just playing kactus. While I whole heartedly endorse the rights of women to kvetch about the biological issues that nature has handed their gender, I’m afraid I exhausted my knowledge of the topic in post #19.
Speaking of female biology, apparently you ladies have stronger spines than us men, according to the inter-web. I didn’t analyze the article for sexism, but I found the humorous in a way.
This may be true, but who has the stiffer upper lip? Or the stronger stomach? (I suspect women, but I may be biased.)
I’m 46, lesbian,and wondering what the hell do I need a period for? It does next to NOTHING for keeping down the damn chin hairs! Humph!
24 posts and no women talking about how eager they were to experience hot flashes and night sweats? Pass the soybeans and the black cohosh. But women do embrace the change of life: When my friend’s wife turned 50, she and her friends from college got together to celebrate their impending “cronedom” (I didn’t ask for any details.)
I’m 49, and yesterday I had an ultrasound for fibroids (this will be my second go-round with these, I had surgery in 2000 to remove them, and I’m seeing a surgeon next week about removing these).
According to the tech I have “young looking ovaries – you’re nowhere near menopause.” Why can’t I have a young looking *face* instead?
Jodie, is there a medical reason for endometrial ablation?
I had my tubes tied in ’92 at age 31 and menstruate like clockwork.
I would love to stop ovulating and bleeding as I do get migraines and hot-flashes. I have an active sex life. I am in better shape at 47 than most people in their thirties..some twenty-somethings too.
being childfree and getting a tubal at 31 was a treat to talk the medical professionals into, so I wonder if I can demand ending this damn curse every month.
For those still bleeding, I am a Diva fan. I’m not positive, but I think the only difference betweent it and the Keeper (other than the stupid name–I bleed! I’m a Diva!) is that the Diva is made of silicone and the Keeper was rubber or something.
Just to chime in with bad news — I didn’t hit officially non-fertile (a year without periods) until after my 55th birthday. And I’m *still* having hot flashes. Dammit.
MKK
Count me as another vote against the whole period thing. I’m 44, have two kids already, and am so ready for this whole business to stop. I have reading glasses, gum disease, and hemorroids, but apparently since I only started menstruating at 14, I still have functioning ovaries. Why can’t I trade the ovaries and get my perfection vision back?
One positive of the Diva cup over the Keeper is that the Keeper is made of gum rubber which means that it is porous and can hold bacteria. If you get a yeast infection while using it it is advisable to get a new one whereas the Diva cup is a silicone (non-porous).
My gynecologist told me that the rate of abortion actually increases for women in their 40s because many have moved past wanting to be pregnant and/or thinking they can get pregnant. But, their bodies haven’t caught up with this thinking and are still ovulating, so they inadvertantly get pregnant. I am 40 and she suggested the Mirena IUD for me if I wanted to have birth control and reduce menstruation.
But if you are having bad periods, definitely worth a trip to the doctor. I was having some seriously heavy periods–it turned out for me that I had an estrogen-producing ovarian cyst which was causing it. To treat said cyst, I had to take a couple months work of birth control pills. I thought this was pretty funny, thinking I was probably one foot in the door to menopause. Turns out despite two solid months of consistently taking the pill as directed, it never stopped ovulating. But because we were on the pill, we figured we were covered and didn’t take precautions. So I ended up having to await a pregnancy test. Those were some nail-biting days.
sigh (and anyone else with bleeding every two weeks): It might be a good idea to get checked out by a gynecologist if you haven’t done so recently. Bleeding between periods (which can appear as a period every 2 weeks) can be a sign of uterine cancer, which is curable if you catch it early, not otherwise. (Actually, hopefully your gyn checked that before prescribing the BCP, but I occasionally can’t resist the urge to give paranoid advice to strangers.)
Hector, I know that when my fellow crones and I get together to celebrate we like to get drunk and talk trash about our partners.
It’s true, middle-aged heterosexual women have entirely different lifestyle and sexual needs that positively require monthly bleeding from the crotch. It’s an important part of our mating rituals!
Seriously though, what the fuck? I know there’s a lot of embarassing het ignorance abounding about what lesbians do in bed, but I didn’t realize it went the other way, too. Menstruating isn’t the het-girl equivalent of cunnilingus, you know.
i have been on the pill consistently for the past six or seven years. consistently, as in no periods, never missing an active dose. It was the best decision ever–no more mood swings, no more nausea-inducing heavy cramping, no more light-heavy-heavy-heavy-light-very heavy-very heavy-very heavy “periods” of joy in my life. And what i spend on the prescription doesn’t even come close to what I used to spend on feminine products. And all without surgery!
http://hagrag.bigstep.com/
That is all.
I have used both the Keeper and the Diva, and vote for the latter– it’s a lot more flexible. Either one is good, way better than tampons, although I seem to have a very light flow, so I don’t have to deal with them in public toilets.
I’m another period-free due to continuous Pill taking. Ah. Is there any good reason why my daughters can’t be period free their entire lives, except when actively attempting to reproduce should they choose to do so?
Tampax no more!
sophonsiba: WTF, right back atcha. The references aren’t about fucking men, so quit being so sensitive. If a self-proclaimed 40+ year old lesbian is saying she doesn’t need her period, you can pretty much assume she’s not going to accidently fall onto a sperm filled turkey baster through some subliminal desire to become pregnant.
As a fellow 47-year-old, I can relate. I started having severe cramps and headaches with my period even though I’m on the pill. My doctor diagnosed me as perimenopausal and is letting me take the pill straight through with a menstrual cycle every three months. yay! don’t miss it at all.
The Keeper now also comes in a translucent silicone version as well–I have one and it’s one of the best things I’ve ever found. It has singlecupedly (ha) changed my life and how I feel about my body. For real. Instead of hating my body once per month, I love it again and am now debating how to use my menses for art projects. Viva la period! Of course, I’m 25…..maybe in another 20 years I’ll be sick of it, too.
Q Grrl, stop acting as if you know what periods are for and as if you’re not just working the uber-powerful Homosexual Agenda!!! Feeling periods are unnecessary for your life as a lesbian = ignorant het-shaming!!!
Okay, I’m done that sarcasm thing ’cause it makes my head hurt.
On a more relevant note, I hate vaginal cramping. I really really do. I feel like I’m giving birth to an invisible tiny…thing. And it hurts to the point I can’t walk.
(I’m 22. Someone want to donate some decades to me to stop this shit?)
I definitely endorse the cup – though I have the Keeper, rather than the Diva, and have no idea if one’s better than the other.
One is latex (or, latex-related), and thus not good for the latex-sensitive among us.
at 51 SO was having massive periods, sometimes 6 weeks apart others only a couple. She had been on the pill but it didn’t seem to be working the way it had been. (Anybody know if that is usual?)
Anyway, after a particularly bad stretch her OB suggested an endometrial ablation. Over the last year she has had 2 tiny periods and no ill affects.
I scared me partly because of what is done & partly because I worry about the long-term affects of disrupting what is ‘natural’. From her study (some web search etc at the time) it looks like a fairly safe procedure. She has not regretted it.
Once I hit 39, I finally – for the first time in my life – had predictable, just-like-clockwork-every-28-days periods. Without being on BC.
I’ve been putting off getting a tubal ligation, against my gyn’s advice, for the past 7 years. Last month I found out I was pregnant and had a miscarriage. I’m with you; as a semi-straight woman, I don’t need my damn periods anymore.
I read somewhere, sadly I don’t recall exactly where, that it’s not actually a natural thing for women to have as many periods as modern women do. I recall an article citing some research showing that women of the past (meaning 400 years ago and more) spent so much time of their lives being pregnant or nursing children that they actually had very few periods. Women of today have at least twice as many periods as is ‘normal’ if we look at the times these researchers compared to. So the idea of skipping periods is really a natural thing it would seem. The pill makes the body think it’s pregnant, so the situation of a woman using pills to skip periods is the same as that of a woman of ye olde days of yore being pregnant or nursing all the time and therefore without periods. Only difference is the actual pregnancy. I just wish I could remember where the study was from, I think the article was in a newspaper, but that doesn’t really help me any.
Wherever it was from, it made feel confident about my decision to just be on the pill permanently without taking breaks for a phony period.
Um, I think that sophonisba was just saying that hetero women don’t need their periods anymore than lesbian women do. What difference does sexual orientation make when it comes to our periods? It would make more sense to say “I never want kids, so what is the point in having a period?” What does your period have to do with being gay?
You’re kidding right? I mean, really.
Read any feminist blog. Any, I say. Stick around long enough and the straight women, by and large, start talking about birth control.
I guess to put it in properly PC terms: straight women run a greater risk of getting pregnant than do lesbians. Must just be statistics though, nothing to do with who-the-hell-you’re-fucking and the fact that men are more likely to get women pregnant than other woemn are.
Duh.
Why is it wrong for lesbians to be exasperated with their reproductive organs when it’s largely an unnecessary bodily function for them? I mean, I guess the straight women can get all literal and look for a fight. They can get up on their moral high horse and try to slam the lesbians for… uh, what exactly?
I could really give two shits less about straight sexuality. But I do give two shits when someone comes on a thread and gratuitously bashes the lesbians for mentioning that they *are* lesbians. That shit’s not right.
And no, straight women don’t “need” their periods, no one, not anywhere on this thread, said so. Or implied one goddamn thing about straight women. What they did was name their own fucking experience for what it is.
The point being made is – It’s a largely unnecessary bodily function for many women, regardless if their straight, queer, or asexual.
Am I the only person who does not mind her periods? I mean they can hurt like hell on occasion, but they were much worse when I was first starting, and I’ve accepted that it’s just another bodily function. I’ve got no desire to stop it or suppress it with, I worry that might be quite unhealthy.
Not all women would have lived that way, though, and it would differ from culture to culture too.. and keep in mind that the average life expectancy was not quite so long back then, either.
(with medication*
and at the end of the last paragraph before the quote I was going to mention .. I am just a bit paranoid about the long term effects of such drugs*)
Lillian, you’re not unusual at all — but it may help to remember that the experience of menstruation varies a lot from person to person. Likewise, the reaction will vary, and that’s okay.
I couldn’t agree more with this – I am entirely fed up with having to deal with bloodflow every few weeks – but for those of us who have sex with men it does serve as a prolonged, messy, inconvenient and excessively-long “Congratulations! You’re not pregnant!” announcement every month. Personally I would rather have a card. Perhaps some sort of implant could be developed that waves a little “NO!” flag every month? A little cuckoo-clock of non-conception?