Sawyer’s Nickname Generator


Silly, but whatever. My Sawyer nickname is “Einstein.” I like that. Plus, Sawyer is pretty.

About Jill

Jill began blogging for Feministe in 2005. She has since written as a weekly columnist for the Guardian newspaper and in April 2014 she was appointed as senior political writer for Cosmopolitan magazine.
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44 Responses to Sawyer’s Nickname Generator

  1. Anatolia says:

    Sawyer is pretty. I wonder if he’s mathematically perfect.

  2. nonskanse says:

    Spacebar? How the heck am I Spacebar!!!?

  3. lee says:

    I’m huckleberry pinhead…

  4. Astraea says:

    “Playdoh” … wtf? Do the nicknames have anything to do with the answers?

    but thank you for the eyecandy!

  5. Becca says:

    My nickname was “Math Boy.”

    I’m not a boy.

  6. I’m “Stretch.”

    Hmm, a bit too close to “Moose,” my least favorite from adolescence

  7. mandi says:

    Sawyer would call me “Sugarpop.” I kind of love it! And Sawyer is beautiful.

  8. Hot Tramp says:

    Sawyer is gorgeous when he’s being bad, and he’s beautiful when he’s being angsty, but he is HORRIFYING when he’s patronizing Kate. Grrrrr.

    – Huckleberry Pinhead

  9. Tapetum says:

    Great. I’m Babar. Which mostly reminds me of the nicknames my first boyfriend called me: The Walrus, and Hippo Hips.

  10. Melissa says:

    I dont understand mine–> Burnt Unit?!

  11. I’m “Pud”. Is that as in pudding, or pronounced more like “put” in golf. If the former – cool, if the latter, WTF?

    I want him to call me Einstein too!

    (Also, when I put in a different version of my name, I got “spacebar” which is kind of fun)

  12. Bobthemole says:

    I never realized there are only two skin colors in all of human existence: Tan and Pale. Who knew?

    Still trying to figure out *how* exactly I’m a sugarpop.

  13. Laurel says:


  14. Haystacks says:

    Capt. Lou Albino

    Yes I am Pale, but Lou? I am a Girl.

  15. louise says:

    My nickname was “Whiteout”- which is really fitting, considering how damned much snow we’ve gotten this season in Maine, including 7 more inches overnight! :)

    Bill Clinton flies into Portland today; Hillary and Barack both land in Bangor on Saturday- she’s going 10 miles up the road to University of Maine at Orono and he’s going 1 mile from the airport to Bangor Auditorium. And YET another snowstorm, predicted as even more snow and wind, predicted for Saturday/Sunday!

  16. C. says:

    I’m Red Eye. What does that mean? Have I had a really, REALLY bad eye infection on the island?

  17. Raznor says:

    Yeah, I got “Huckleberry Pinhead” too and that just doesn’t work. At all. It’s three syllables more than saying my actual full name.

  18. Emily says:

    I am Imelda. I wonder how many different possibilities there are? Seems like quite a few.

  19. Nisha says:

    I’m Half-Pint. Sad, but also so very fitting :( Well, at least he’s pretty!

  20. B. Dagger Lee says:

    Not that many possibilities, because I’m Einstein, too.

  21. Holly says:

    The “body type” choices include short, tall, brunette, blonde, tan, and pale? Gee that’s not Eurocentric at all. I was forced to admit that I’m one of the billions of short, tan, brunettes in the world, and I’m not even that short or tan, but I’m certainly not tall or pale in this country.

    And I got “Imelda” as my short, tan, brunette nickname. Awesome, I’ll just go organize my shoe closet, shall I?

  22. Mary T says:

    I got Red Eye (for pale, brunette, tall, creative, impulsive) — wha? But first Mondrian and Picasso when I didn’t realize that I could answer up to three things.

    Yeah, the eurocentrism is lame, but I don’t think anyone should be insulted by the resulting nicknames — that’s kind of the point. He calls people insulting nicknames!

  23. harlemjd says:

    becca – I got mathboy too! I guess women can’t be logical. Did you use a fairly common girl’s name, cause I was going to try again with something more familiar than mine, in case I got a different result.

    Funny thing, it’s pretty close to my parents’ childhood nickname for my brother.

  24. harlemjd says:

    huh, when I said my name was “Jane” I got Einstien. So Sawyer isn’t just sexist, he’s also completely unfamiliar with Irish names.

  25. “Freebird”? Um , OK – If I leave here tomorrow – Would you still remember me?

  26. Foxfire says:

    My name was Haus. Um…ok. Why the German word for House? I mean in one was it is cool, Der Waffle Haus from Dead Like Me, Bauhaus…but then it also makes me think of Hoss. We used to call my nephew when he was a baby Hoss (cause he literally looked like a baby-sized Eric Cartwright) but as a 24 yo woman it doesn’t have positive connotations. Eh, I haven’t watch Lost since the first season, so no skin off of my teeth.

  27. hecateluna says:

    It seems like it’s mostly random. I got four different answers entering exactly the same information. (Avalanche, Professor, Prince Charles, Red Eye) It looks like they probably have some that are specific to specific traits (Professor, Einstein for smart), and some which are just random and can be given to anyone (Red Eye?).

    …yes I obviously have too much time. And yes, I come out of lurking to post this nonsense.

  28. zuzu says:

    I got Mr. Zippie.

  29. harlemjd says:

    aw man, I want to be Mr. Zippie! (yes, even the mister. it just sounds sillier than Ms. Zippie – I think it’s the extra syllable)

  30. Painini says:

    What, no other Grasshoppers?

    I feel so alone.

  31. lee says:

    Mr. Zippie sounds like a good name for a penis.

  32. Mnemosyne says:

    I got Mondrian. I should check again and see if I can score something better.

  33. Mhorag says:

    I ended up with “Skeletor”!


    Not bad for a short, fat, 47-year old female redhead.

    Now I have to go out and conquer the universe ….

  34. Aja says:

    I got Mr. Zippie.

    I got that one too. Although I was a little confused as to where I fit in on the pale/tan scale, since I’m neither.

  35. Mnemosyne says:

    I got “Avalanche” the second time around. I think I like that better.

  36. ejjikk says:

    Sawyer calls me “Quickie.”
    And we haven’t even met yet!
    How presumptuous.

  37. denelian says:

    i cant even get the quiz to show up on the page

    and im a total sucker for these stupid memes…

    oh well, i’ll just tell myself that I, too, could be a skeletor!!! (so awesome, btw. and im a tall, fat 31 year old female redhead. its gotta be the red-head status lol)

  38. Mnemosyne says:

    G. came up as Rerun.

    Now I have the theme from “What’s Happening?” going through my head.

  39. Andrea says:

    Who IS that???? What a babe!!! Is he from Lost? I’m guessing Lost based on the fact that he’s on a beach and a bit scruffy. Jeez louise this picture made my afternoon.

  40. Heather says:

    I got Imelda.

  41. Karen says:

    In case anyone else had no idea where Capt. Lou Albino came from, apparently there was a trick-wrestler (or manager? first one, then the other?) who called himself Captain Lou Albano. Thank you, Google Images, for suggesting the vowel change.

  42. emily says:

    sawyer is cool but wierd

  43. lindsey says:

    i got Hawking for my nickname =) i like it

  44. johann says:

    i got milquetoast. which is freakin hilarious.

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