Perhaps it’s because it resembles a facial merkin

by zuzu on 2.13.2008 · 36 comments

in Stupidity

Didja know the goatee might very well be a backlash to feminism? ‘Strue! Time magazine says so!

Oh noes! Johnny Depp has been fooling us all along.

Oh, please. Goatees? They belong to men who don’t have the courage of their convictions, especially if their facial hair is going to indicate how very, very antifeminist they are (in the case of Depp, despite his rather obvious gender-bending). Let’s see a good Schnurrbart. Or the kind of waxed Rollie Fingers/Snidely Whiplash ’stache I saw sported by a guy in Lowe’s on Sunday, or that my Uncle Bren wears from time to time.

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{ 36 comments }

1 gordo 2.13.2008 at 5:06 am

Wow. That analysis is incredibly moronic, even for TIME.

2 Katherine 2.13.2008 at 5:29 am

I need to tell my feminist, goatee-wearing husband that he is in fact part of the backlash. This may confuse him, since I, a feminist, persuaded him to grow it in the first place (I just like them, ‘k?).

3 SnowdropExplodes 2.13.2008 at 7:16 am

I’m a bit puzzled by the idea that goatees were invented in the 1990s by “rebels” – Wikipedia appears to trace it back at least 110 years further than that…!

4 wriggles 2.13.2008 at 7:34 am

Wouldn’t this be a ‘backlash’ against Brazilian Waxes?!!!

5 Kat 2.13.2008 at 8:35 am

Well, you know our youngest brother sported one of those during that time. And he is the poster child for misogyny… so maybe there is a grain of truth ;)

6 irisira 2.13.2008 at 8:51 am

It would have been nice if they showed a picture of someone who actually can GROW a goatee …

7 norbizness 2.13.2008 at 10:09 am

We need more facial hair configurations that remind one of an evil magician.

8 MC 2.13.2008 at 10:41 am

What cracks me up is that they use JOHNNY DEPP as an example. He’s not feminine, exactly, but even his pirate chracacter wasn’t macho! And has anyone seen Ed Wood? Such a weird person to use as an anti-feminist figure.

9 zuzu 2.13.2008 at 12:18 pm

Well, you know our youngest brother sported one of those during that time. And he is the poster child for misogyny… so maybe there is a grain of truth ;)

Of course, he only grew a goatee because he couldn’t grow a full beard.

Perhaps that’s it — men who can’t grow a full beard, who aren’t manly enough to do so, resent it and thus seek to show their contempt for women, since they do not compare favorably to the more luxuriantly hirsute. Or something.

10 annajcook 2.13.2008 at 12:35 pm

You know, I’ve been puzzling over this ad at Feministing and now here for the last couple of days, and I still have no frickin’ idea what they thought they were saying! It’s like a joke gone wrong.

11 D.N. Nation 2.13.2008 at 1:03 pm

I recently grew my facial hair out from a goatee* to a full beard. I wonder what that means.

* Just so we’re clear here- Johnny Depp’s “facial hair” in no way resembles anything more than a 12-year-old boy’s first crack at stubble. Call it a goatee if you must, but, really, no.

12 Hugo 2.13.2008 at 1:35 pm

Sigh. That’s exactly why I grew my goatee all those years ago, as a defiant rejection of the very feminism I publicly profess. I’m devastated that the cat is out of the bag now.

13 walkingundine 2.13.2008 at 1:47 pm

Is Depp antifeminist? I’d no idea. That’s a major disappointment.

14 Thom 2.13.2008 at 2:03 pm

This may confuse him, since I, a feminist, persuaded him to grow it in the first place (I just like them, ‘k?).

Clearly…you are a self loathing feminist. ;)

15 Bitter Scribe 2.13.2008 at 2:11 pm

That’s just bizarre. As for Depp, in the interviews I’ve read, he comes off as fairly well-meaning and progressive politically (if not the most articulate guy on the planet). I’d be willing to bet that if you asked him, he’d probably say that “feminist backlash” stuff came out of left field. (Or right field.)

16 Karen 2.13.2008 at 2:40 pm

walkingundine, I want to know, too! Is Johnny Depp a feminist? Antifeminist? Could he be persuaded to guest blog on the subject?

17 deoridhe 2.13.2008 at 3:04 pm

I think Depp is more an iconoclast than anything else. He did say on Inside the Actor’s Studio that he would be interested in being a woman in a movie, and he described several of his male characters in female terms (my favorite was Icabod Crain as a teenage girl detective). He also mentioned that playing Ed Wood gave him new appreciation for how much women went through in terms of dress.

He came off to me as very feminist, but I don’t know how he would self identify. Knowing Depp, he wouldn’t feel comfortable categorizing himself; he rather strongly attempts to avoid categorization.

18 Hector B. 2.13.2008 at 3:31 pm

The goatee is the mark of the pervo.

19 dnA 2.13.2008 at 4:15 pm

What’s with all the freaking hostility towards gotees? Has it occured to anyone that maybe people like me just can’t grow a full beard?

20 meggygurl 2.13.2008 at 4:42 pm

*blinks*

I… don’t get it. How does facial hair represent a backlash to feminism?

Time… you disappoint me.

21 zuzu 2.13.2008 at 4:51 pm

BTW, is that actually Dizzy Gillespie? I don’t think I’ve ever seen a picture of him when he was so young.

22 Hector B. 2.13.2008 at 5:20 pm

zuzu — yes, and that’s actually a soul patch, which makes playing trumpet-type instruments more comfortable. (See also Doc Severinsen.)

23 Rosehiptea 2.13.2008 at 7:47 pm

I’m a little new at feminism, but I’ve never heard anyone comment on men’s facial hair from a feminist viewpoint. So I don’t know what “I’ll show you; I’ll grow a goatee!” would even mean. Odd.

24 Ole Blue 2.13.2008 at 9:45 pm

Well the facial hair article is a crock of horse hockey.
Arm chair psychologist should shut up.

I have a goatee because I am a 42 year old man and without the goatee I look like I am in my twenties. A full beard makes me look too old since the sides are white plus a beard makes my face itch.

I know a lot of guys who have goatees because they think it makes them look tougher. Most of the guys I see with goatees would be better off clean shaven.

Zuzu that is Dizzy. Search youtube for Dizzy and Louis Armstrong and you will be able to see a young Dizzy and hear a great version of “Umbrella Man”

25 jessilikewhoa 2.14.2008 at 12:48 am

well, there is the goatee’s bastard kin, the chin shrub: as exhibited here http://www.ez-entertainment.net/carpet/matrix2/Dsc_0372a.JPG on the always charming (/snark) fred durst, and here on the guy from coal chamber http://artfiles.art.com/images/-/Coal-Chamber-Poster-C10007098.jpeg

in my experience, the only guys who ever rock the chin shrub are nu metal devotees, and in my experience with nu metal and its devotees, yes, yes, yes, quite anti-feminist.

in short, the backlash does not have a goatee, it has a chin shrub, and it wears massive pants and a chain wallet.

26 Polly 2.14.2008 at 10:30 am

Weird. Dinosaur comics do a t-shirt with ‘beards over babies’ on it (i.e. yeah, you can grow new people but we can grow beards). Maybe that would have been a better image?

Cartoon here

27 Polly 2.14.2008 at 10:31 am
28 Tedbert 2.14.2008 at 1:27 pm

I’m worried about the progression from Dizzy to Steve Jobs. I can feel all the cool being sucked out of the room.

29 Dylan 2.14.2008 at 2:17 pm
30 Morningstar 2.14.2008 at 5:56 pm

very antifeminist they are (in the case of Depp, despite his rather obvious gender-bending)

huh??

31 zuzu 2.14.2008 at 6:11 pm

Didn’t see Pirates of the Caribbean?

32 Morningstar 2.15.2008 at 9:26 am

well i get that he can look gender bending but since when was he anti-feminist?

maybe he was in the other sequels to POTC. i only saw the first one.

33 CBrachyrhynchos 2.15.2008 at 10:51 am

Ehh, full beards just look wrong on me. The cheeks come in too patchy, and for some reason the hair on one side of my body grows faster which leads to a bizzare curl. I do have the premature salt in pepper and the Jack Kerby Middle-Aged Man temples.

34 charles 2.15.2008 at 2:07 pm

any jackass excuse to re-air the “backlash to feminism” bullshit.

honestly, i think the rise in goatees in the 90’s in undergound circles was in response to the adoration given Kurt Cobain, certainly not an anti-feminist. and then the mainstream society followed like lemmings. but thanks to Time for giving me an excuse i rarely need to reprint this great quote:

i have a request for our fans
if any of you, in any way
hate women, gays, or people of a different color
do us this one favor:
LEAVE US THE FUCK ALONE!
don’t come to our shows
and don’t buy our records.
~Kurt Cobain (liner notes to Incesticide)

that’s some “anti-feminism” i can get behind!

i always have a goatee, unless i shave it for a funeral or something.

35 zuzu 2.15.2008 at 2:51 pm

well i get that he can look gender bending but since when was he anti-feminist?

It was snark, Morningstar.

36 Lewis 2.20.2008 at 5:11 pm

HA! Eat it, feminists! The power of the goatee compels you to go back to the kitchen! MARVEL AT THE DEFIANCE!

On that note, I try to stay clean-shaven. Beards look icky on me.

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