Happy Valentine’s Day!


I know that as a person who is both a feminist and single, I’m supposed to hate Valentine’s Day. But I don’t. I mean, I hate the heteronormativity and the conspicuous consumerism and if anyone ever bought me velour lingerie or a diamond heart necklace I would immediately end the relationship and go home alone. But a holiday dedicated to love isn’t a terrible idea, is it? As long as we’re celebrating virgin births and great presidents, we might as well give ourselves an excuse to go out to dinner and buy flowers, right? (I could just be biased because I happen to really like dinner and flowers).

Twisty, in her usual Twisty fashion, casts a jaundiced eye on Valentine’s day. TigTog asks for your worst v-day stories. So there’s all kinda of anti-V-Day-ness going on today (and I’m fully in support of that, too).

I actually don’t have any terrible Valentine’s day stories (luckily, I still have a lot of time). I have a few nice ones. But I don’t really read a whole lot into Valentine’s day — it makes me smile when I see people walking down the street with flowers, and I think all the dressed-up and happy couples are adorable, but I don’t feel particularly left out for not partaking this year. Instead, I’m looking forward to a night of sushi, Malbec and LOST.

Plus, if I had a boyfriend this year, I’d be forced to choose between him and the double-wammy of Sawyer and Sayid. And I think we all know how that word turn out.

What are you doing tonight?

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About Jill

Jill began blogging for Feministe in 2005. She has since written as a weekly columnist for the Guardian newspaper and in April 2014 she was appointed as senior political writer for Cosmopolitan magazine.
This entry was posted in Holidays & Celebrations, Vanity and tagged . Bookmark the permalink.

40 Responses to Happy Valentine’s Day!

  1. rowmyboat says:

    Sayid=so pretty.

    Gonna curl up with the boy and eat chocolate. The day is an excuse to eat better chocolate than we usually do.

  2. karmakaze says:

    I’ll be setting up to work at Katsucon, an anime convention in Washington DC. There’s no romance or anti-romance involved, actually. Chocolate should be available cheap tomorrow, though, which we’ll find handy.

  3. zuzu says:

    I’m caulking my bathtub.

  4. L-K says:

    I’m hitting the gym. It’s Chest/Shoulders/Triceps Day, instead of Valentine’s Day for me.

    Although I did send out my round of Anti-Valentine Day e-cards, I do slightly envy those who do have plans with a special someone, not just because it’s Valentine’s Day, but just because. But just slightly.

  5. Nick Kiddle says:

    Since you ask, I’m going to be writing some smut. Not because it’s v-day, but just to keep my writing muscles in trim (and maybe ease the sexual frustration).

  6. Meowser says:

    I bought him a book with pretty color pictures on wild edible plants accompanied by a card made by a local artist. He loved it. He’s taking me for a seafood meal tonight. I know, laaaame. But bear in mind that he barely ever wants to go out at all between November 1 and February 28 (rain, rain, rain), and I get four fancy dinners a year (the other three are anniversary, my birthday, and his) because neither one of us is made outta cash. So it’s not like I’m gonna turn down lobster when I have a chance to eat it.

  7. Jill says:

    Oooh not lame at all, Meowswer. Never turn down lobster ;-)

  8. octogalore says:

    It’s not a terrible idea. And when that guy comes along, one word: TIVO.

  9. Bea says:

    I’m hanging out with a guy friend who seems to want to be a bit more. Despite any number of things to recommend him, I’m feeling rather unsure, so chances are I’ll -also- be fighting the urge to call up my (recent) ex and inform him he’s ruined me, because a year ago I probably would have gladly jumped this guy.

    So, depending on how the night goes and how I sort my head out about it later, it’ll be
    a) a pleasant evening hanging around with my friend,
    b) a regrettable rebound hookup, or
    c) “huh. actually, this isn’t a bad idea.”

  10. sushi says:

    My boyfriend and I avoid doing things for Valentine’s Day, because it’s expensive and all the restaurants are crowded. No reason to get stressed out on a day that’s supposedly about love, right? Tonight we’ll be cooking dinner at home and watching Lost. We’ll probably go out for sushi or something nice over the weekend instead.

  11. Laurie says:

    Darling Husband and I usually shun the “romantic dinner out/flowers/candy/jewelry” routine because a) you have to make reservations a *ridiculous* amount of time ahead, b) the restaurant is going to be noisy and crowded anyway, and the waitstaff is going to be rushed and crabby, NONE of which makes us happy, c) we ain’t made of money, and we are CHEAP when it comes to expected holiday giving between ourselves, c2) the cats would eat the flowers anyway, and besides, d) we celebrate our wedding anniversary every month *anyway* because we like to remind ourselves that we’re married.** :) It might not be anything more than a movie rental with Chinese take-out and warm cats on our laps, but it’s “us” time. I don’t need Hallmark to remind me to appreciate my Lovey. :)

    Today, though, for some reason I felt the need to make him a card and bake cookies. :) We’re having some pasta with homemade red sauce and some italian garlic and cheese bread tonight, and probably more “Flash Gordon” since the season is nearly over and it might not be renewed anyway. :( I’m going to try to push for “Buffy”, though. :] (That’s a vampire smiley. Yes, I’m odd.)

    ** We lived together for 4 years before we got married, so we joke we need to remind ourselves that we made it legal and all. :) Also, we heard a similar idea at someone else’s wedding, and we liked it. It’s a monthly Date Night that we try really, really hard not to miss even if we just rent a movie and get pizza or something.

  12. Jim H in Indiana says:

    I’m “bacheloring” it tonight as the wife is working until 10 p.m.

    So…I hung up clean clothes from last night, currently running the dish-washer, straightened the living room and just generally put things up and tidied up where needed. Maybe we’ll go out tomorrow or Saturday night for a nice sit-down dinner (she loves Red Lobster).

    And oh yeah, I gave her a card and two heart-shaped Reese’s Cups this morning. Not near as good as reservations at White Castle, I know. I kid you not…their sign noted they were taking reservations for Valentine’s Dinner…nothing screams romance like a table for two and some sliders at White Castle!

  13. exholt says:

    Happily testing and prepping a Pentium 4 Dell PC I found abandoned outside last night. If all goes well, hope to use it as a replacement testbed PC as the one I currently use is starting to show its age.

  14. sunburned counsel says:

    My Sweetie picked up some yellow tulips and my absolute favourite- Breyer’s mint chocolate ice cream. I’m making a roast and popovers. We may make it a night by watching some Arrested Development. It’s not really our holiday, but it’s nice to spiff things up a little.

  15. ErinPD says:

    I have the cold from hell AND a paper due next week. Oh, and I’m single. And without good chocolate. But! I have a few bottles of good beer in the fridge! Maybe I’ll push the paper off, drink a bit and veg out to bad television with the roommates tonight. Dog knows I could use a night off…

    I hope you have a lovely evening, Jill, and everyone else. Happy Valentine’s Day!

  16. Mnemosyne says:

    We used to go all out, but then I started feeling secure in the relationship. (Joking, but not really.) So tonight we’re going to stay in, eat chicken burgers and baked home fries, and watch the cats try to eat my flowers. Also probably work our way through the red velvet cupcakes I made. Hopefully he’ll be really excited that I found his favorite Britcom on DVD so he doesn’t have to rely on BitTorrent anymore.

    I don’t even bother to make him get flowers for delivery anymore — as long as he brings them home on Valentine’s Day (and my birthday), that’s awesome. Plus the ones at Whole Foods or even Ralphs market are usually nicer than the ones you can get from our lame-ass local florists.

    I’m hoping they still have peonies at Whole Foods, but we’ll see what I get.

  17. Hugo says:

    We’ll be taking the chinchillas out and ordering in from the vegetarian Chinese place down the road. As we’ve found the hard way, doing the vegan thing on Valentine’s Day is impossible; restaurants that would otherwise be accomodating are all in prix fixe craziness on February 14.

    And after the chinchillas have been bathed and given their play time, we’ll curl up on the couch and watch Love, Actually. It’s our comfort movie, as I know it is for so many other folks…

    We brought back some sweet Malbec from our Argentina trip; I’ll open a bottle for Eira.

  18. Rebecca says:

    I forget it was valentine’s day, woe is me. I spent the day relaxing with some crochet, a bit of writing, some reading, I played with the cats at one point….sigh, how horrible it is to be single and alone. :)

  19. Dana says:

    I’m feeling waaaay too lazy to read this properly. But yes, I have a problem with valentines day. I like buying the person I’m with presents because I’m thinking of them, because I saw something I thought they’d like. I like receiving presents for the same reasons. But a holiday telling you to give presents to your significant other? Or more accurately men to give women presents lest they be in the “dog box”? I don’t want a present given for those reasons, thanks *gag*

  20. Marksman2000 says:

    What is it about “Lost?” Everyone talks about that show. It’s like Harry Potter and Britney Spears–you can’t get away.

  21. I actually had a nice surprize today. This sweet girl who used to come help me around the house (she goes to the local college) left some candy at my door with a little note to call her. I called her up and we had a fun time talking about how terrible art history identification tests are (especially Greek era–don’t all those buildings look alike?) and decided to get together one of these days. It was a nice surprize.

    For the evening I plan to blog about goats and how soft and puffy their winter coats get, and write a special post to all the people I love.

  22. Cola Johnson says:

    I’m trying furiously to finish knitting the scarf I’m giving my boyfriend tomorrow when he visits. It just refuses to get longer, and my fingers hurt.

    I also convinced him to go see the Vagina Monologues tomorrow. The only reason he was reticent is that we’ve seen them before.

  23. Linnaeus says:

    Well, Valentine’s Day happens to be my (recent) ex-girlfriend’s birthday, so it still feels a bit weird. I just got home from happy hour in which I had a couple of drinks, and now I’m preparing to teach my discussion sections tomorrow.

  24. lee says:

    My boyfriend completely ignored the fact that it was Valentine’s day. Now I’m in my dorm room by myself nursing the infected cut on my hand. I’m kinda mad.

  25. tigtog says:

    Jill, I think you’re a bit cruel to not have also linked to my other V-day post: Gratuitous Men in Kilts Blogging

    I was asked for David Tennant and Jack Barrowman in kilts, and I (ahem) didn’t stop there.

  26. Nic says:

    I actually did something this year, for the first time, like, ever. My partner and I went out to dinner, nothing fancy, a little Irish pub. He did give me one red rose, which was cute, even though I’m not a flower person. (I mean, what do you DO with them once you’ve got them? I don’t even own a vase!) But we didn’t make a huge deal of the day. It was pretty much like any other night for us, with the exception of the flower. Oh, and the balloon. And the singing teddy bear (!). And the decorative glass box. I guess he did get a little carried away.

  27. Craig R. says:

    Went to a trivia game with a friend and her apparently-not-quite-boyfriend. Had dessert and coffee. Won.

  28. Ledasmom says:

    Went to a trivia game with a friend and her apparently-not-quite-boyfriend. Had dessert and coffee. Won.

  29. Ledasmom says:

    Yeah, ignore Craig’s duplicate comment to mine. I thought I’d managed to stop that comment going through.

  30. Daomadan says:

    I’m spending my V-Day eating cupcakes and having a date with the sexy men (and ladies) of Lost. :)

    karmakaze: Have fun at Katsu! I used to go all the time when I lived in VA. ^_^

    Ugh, I want to contribute my worst V-Day story to that other blog, but mine involves being physically assaulted by my abusive boyfriend. It’s complicated. Wish I could say that my worst story was someone forgetting to give me flowers.

  31. D.N. Nation says:

    From Mr. to Mrs. Nation:
    – $100+ on dinner
    – After-dinner drinks
    – Season 7 of CSI
    – Once

    From Mrs. to Mr. Nation:
    – Season 1 of Robot Chicken
    – DVD of the movie we watched the night we first kissed
    – Twice

    Winnar of a V-Day, I’d say.

  32. Jha says:

    Last night, I was backstage making sure my production of the Vagina Monologues went smoothly. Despite a lack of quality sound systems and a lightboard gone missing a few days prior, we kicked off with a wonderful (male) musician on the piano, and proceeded to have a great show.

  33. Jill says:

    Jill, I think you’re a bit cruel to not have also linked to my other V-day post: Gratuitous Men in Kilts Blogging

    I was asked for David Tennant and Jack Barrowman in kilts, and I (ahem) didn’t stop there.

    Oh lordy, how did I miss this???

  34. Elizabethe says:

    I spent the evening alone. I made a lasagna (mmm…leftovers) and had Phish Food ice cream (the surf and turf verision with fudge fish AND cows).

    I spent a lot of time thinking about my grandparents. They got married on February 14, 1945, down at the county courthouse in front of the justice of the peace. She was 8 1/2 months pregnant with my father, and no one took any pictures to mark the occasion. I suppose they were too poor to afford photos. Valentine’s Day was never just another day for me growing up, because it was their wedding anniversary. They made it to 60 years before my grandfather died, and my grandmother just couldn’t live without him and died soon after. I’m always going to have a soft spot in my heart for Valentine’s Day because I associate it with two of the greatest people I ever had the privilege to meet.

  35. One might argue that the celebration of a virgin birth to which you dismissively refer IS a holiday (Holy Day) dedicated to love.

    I’m just sayin’

  36. Mnemosyne says:

    I’m trying furiously to finish knitting the scarf I’m giving my boyfriend tomorrow when he visits. It just refuses to get longer, and my fingers hurt.

    Ah, the dreaded Black Hole of Knitting. I’ve been there.

  37. Medicine Man says:

    I’m caulking my bathtub.

    I think I’m getting a crush on Zuzu. :D

    I totally forgot it was VD myself. It was pretty much just another Thursday to me.

  38. Green SAHM says:

    My husband doesn’t do the flower thing too often, but we’ve dried all the flowers he’s given me in the years we’ve been married, and the tops are in a huge glass bottle. Makes a nice decoration.

    This year, we did nothing, unless you count caring for our daughter who had a 103.5 degree temperature. But he’s the one who gets up most in the middle of the night for the kids, and that’s pretty special to me.

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  40. Mnemosyne not all local florists are lame you just have to pick the right one. You are lucky though to be bought flowers at least twice a year!

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