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Best Spam Email Ever

By Jill on 2.15.2008

Today in my mailbox I got an email titled “LouiseFuckstickBouffant.”

Something about adding the word “bouffant” to the end of “LouiseFuckstick” really made me want to open it. Shockingly, it was an advertisement for “JumboSchlong.”

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15 Responses

  1. 1
    Lauren 2.15.2008 at 3:58 pm |

    When it comes to fun curse words, I always manage to forget about “fuckstick.” It’s so snappy, I have to remember it.

  2. 2
    anna twitch 2.15.2008 at 4:08 pm |

    Oh, wow, I had that spam a couple of weeks ago! I remember pausing long enough to think “Bouffant??” before deleting it.

    There’s something about that new spam trend of hiding the dirty stuff inside a name that makes me think of British-esque hyphenated last names. Maybe there’s an island somewhere where all the FuckstickJoneses and ErectileSmiths live their lives of wild abandon?

  3. 3
    D.N. Nation 2.15.2008 at 4:46 pm |

    Yeah? And? You buy any of the wares within?

  4. 4
    Sycorax 2.15.2008 at 4:49 pm |

    I just did a brief check of my spam folder a few minutes ago and was very amused by one Dr. Kyle Babcock’s warning that my wife “does not admire to had jazzed it with you for reason of of your jang size.”

  5. 5
    louise 2.15.2008 at 5:30 pm |

    Whoopie, a new nickname for my favorite vibrator! :)

  6. 6
    Doug 2.15.2008 at 5:59 pm |

    Great. Now someone apparently knows both my screen name AND my password on Daily Kos. What the fuck am I supposed to do now?

  7. 7
    Medicine Man 2.15.2008 at 6:09 pm |

    If these things actually worked, I wonder how — ahem — big the resulting industry would be?

  8. 8
    Brooklynite 2.15.2008 at 6:26 pm |

    I got one not long ago with the subject line “Do not make the mistake of being content with your dick.”

    Kind of sums it all up, doesn’t it?

  9. 9
    evil fizz 2.15.2008 at 6:43 pm |

    That is a good one. I got one advertising apocalypse miniskirts a while ago and still use it for fun things (like my band name in Guitar Hero).

  10. 10
    signthelist 2.15.2008 at 7:39 pm |

    I got one that was a poem once. Well…it was probably supposed to be cut ups of random words to make it through the spam filters, but it was pretty poem-like.

  11. 11
    at all costs 2.15.2008 at 7:56 pm |

    A joke about penis enlargement spam – brilliant!!

    And what’s the deal with airline peanuts?

  12. 12
    ellen 2.15.2008 at 8:44 pm |

    When I was checking my spam filters, I noticed a whole series of emails formatted like that and I was so amused I saved a list of the subjects (top lines) and body content (second lines)…

    JanObviousPhallus
    EffiePenisHuge

    AliciaProdigiousPenis
    OdessaBodypartBouffant

    LorenaBiggishCock
    PuffyCockJamaal

    MalindaHumongousShlong
    SethAmpleCock

    PhallusSignificantKimberley
    PenisElephantinMindy

    PenisPuffyLester
    DickBroadBurton

    LornaHugeRod
    GiantCockMickey

    The spammers must have some sort of random name generator… I’m amused that they’re still using it (I saved these back at the beginning of December).

  13. 13
    rossi 2.16.2008 at 11:49 am |

    excellant my dear
    now i know what to call the many phone sales annoyers
    fuck off your tele-bouffant-motherfucker
    ah the poetry

  14. 14
    Emily 2.17.2008 at 9:15 am |

    Boiuffant is SO DIRTY in a world wher ghd reigns supreme….

  15. 15
    INotI 2.17.2008 at 1:59 pm |

    The best spam I ever got was a porn ad that said “Hot college blonde gets penetrated and ignored”. Really summed it up for me.

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