That’s my point, that how the world treats women is a bigger determiner than congenital psychology when a woman considers if she wants to stay in this world or check out.

I disagree. If that were true, women would be committing suicide en masse at far higher rates than they do. That’s not to say that misogyny doesn’t play a role–it is obviously one of the stressors that can trigger depression in women who are vulnerable to depression, with the result that more women are going to be triggered that way (i.e. people who would have been close to depression but never experience it are pushed over the line)–but it’s certainly not a “bigger” determinant. There are numerous ways to respond to stressors and to misogyny. Depression is a pathological way.

RenegadeEvolution says: And no, I will say flat out, porn, stripping, sex work in general? Not easy jobs and certainly not jobs for everyone or that anyone can handle. Yet, as annoying and hurtful as the attitude of “who cares about a whore” that comes out of men, and some women, can be, well, so are a lot of the more patronizing feminist attitudes directed towards the people in the industry as well.

Gee, I think “who cares about a whore” is far more damaging. Because thinking someone is a lesser human being for engaging in sex work (i.e.,“who cares about a whore?”) is why the murder of streetwalkers receives less intensive police investigation that the murder of nice clean college girls, and women in sex work aren’t too likely to get a rape or assault case prosecuted (or even a woman or girl who’s painted as just a “whore”), so they’re pretty much fair game. Just a couple of examples. I’d take patronizing, misdirected pity any day over contempt and hatred. I guess I’m just weird that way.

I don’t think there is a magical formula to cure that feeling anyway, not to mention the fact that all cases are highly individualized.

Well, that was actually my point, that not everyone needs to hear the same thing, and that at that point they may not feel powerful.

It’s about fundamental respect, and treating people like they are decision-making adults, if they come to you with their problem.

That’s also a good point, and I agree that in general people can have a gory fascination with someone’s problems, particularly in the case of someone who works in the porn industry. That said, I’m not sure this post is an example of that (or only that), because Shannon Wisely did find herself in a pretty horrible position and maybe people need to think about why, even if it involves discussing her past and life. (I agree any time that happens, and someone is an outsider, they’re treading on thin ground.) Plus part of the point is whether people outside the industry respected her and saw her as a person with the same value as themselves, even those who had sex with her.

And while I couldn’t agree more in general with Rebecca’s point that when someone commits suicide it’s their decision, and blaming the survivors isn’t appropriate, I don’t think that should stop us from wondering if the circumstances some people are in couldn’t be improved — by mental health care, more choices in life, basic respect or anything else.

When I say that it’s helpful to remind people of their own power – I’m not talking about necessarily verbally articulating that idea. It’s not like saying, “Hey Rose! Cheer up! Choose life! Have a cookie!” I think people can really only affect one another through example.

It’s about fundamental respect, and treating people like they are decision-making adults, if they come to you with their problem.

That’s my point, that how the world treats women is a bigger determiner than congenital psychology when a woman considers if she wants to stay in this world or check out.

Back when I was first getting into my activism I came across a study by some group affiliated with the European Union that found pornography actors had 6X the suicide rate of non-porn actors. Wish I could remember more so I could track down that study from around 2000-2001, but what most struck me about it at the time was that in the general population more men commit suicide than women but in the study far more women actors in pornography killed themselves than men actors in pornography.

The people who make a positive difference in the life of a person suffering from depression are the ones who remind them that they have the POWER to make a command decision to continue on with their lives.

Actually, when I’m feeling suicidal and people tell me that I feel like they haven’t heard a damn thing I’m saying. If I were in a place to appreciate my power to make decisions I wouldn’t feel suicidal. I don’t mean I want “pity” and I doubt Shannon Wilsey did either, but I take exception to your remark.

Sorry, I hate to get off the original topic but I don’t like to see grand sweeping pronouncements about what a person suffering from depression needs.