Your blogger in PR last week, with the book she’s been reading for five effing months because she spends too much time on the internet and reads too many things for law school, leaving Tony Judt 2/3rds incomplete. This makes her sad, and potential partners will probably reject her for it.
Yes, I judge people by their literary choices. Do you list The Da Vinci Code as one of your favorite books on Facebook? Talk about how great Ayn Rand is? Read John Grisham novels somewhere other than on an airplane or the beach? Think that God is super smart for having written the Bible? Even worse, say that you don’t like to read? I’m running in the other direction (especially when it comes to dating you).
Yes, it’s judgmental. Yes, perhaps it is a little mean. I don’t care. Dating is a compatibility game, and I don’t imagine things would ever work out with someone who thinks Dan Brown is the height of great literature or that Ayn Rand had some awesome ideas (or was even a decent writer). Literary taste can be a pretty good weeding-out mechanism, and for me it’s right up there along with foodie- and wino-ness (can’t date a guy who only eats to live and doesn’t really care what he puts in his mouth); progressive values (no Republicans, Libertarians or apathetic people, please); and an interest in politics, feminism and media (that’s pretty much what I do all day, so I’d like to be able to talk about it). And you definitely have to like dogs. Preferably big ones.
Before someone jumps on me for being snobby or judgmental, this is a values issue and, as I said before, a compatibility game. There are a lot of things that are worth compromising on, but the things that take up a good deal of my time and that I thoroughly enjoy — food, wine, politics, reading, and adorable slobbery hairy beasts — I want to be able to share with my partner. Other people might privilege other things, and that’s fine too — I’m sure there are plenty of people who seek out partners who share their religion or their vegetarianism or their love of music or their passion for sports or whatever else.
So before this gets too serious, what are your unconventional deal-breakers in relationships? And has anyone read any good books lately?