Those are the sorts of issues that are the real deal-breakers. Not whether someone likes Chinese food.

Having said that, a deal-breaker for me would be any woman who claimed Gloria Steinem was a fantastic writer, or that Amanda Marcotte had great insights.

Knowing how some people are judgmental about literary choices is one reason why I never create a publicly known list of favorite books or music. Why create an opening for the inevitable sarcastic put-downs from the supposedly “more erudite” literature/conservatory majors who usually all come from the upper/upper-middle class or their wannabe hangers-on?

Why cares about what these other people might think?

Anyone who googles me will come upon my “snooty honours student” book list that I made a while back on Amazon. I’ve got the 4th Harry Potter book on there and, honestly, I don’t take any criticism of that very seriously.

I mean, I criticize anyone who thinks that The Da Vinci Code is the best book evAr, and if I can dish it out, I can take it (or ignore it, which is what I most often do).

Most importantly, I think there’s a difference between judging just anyone on their bookshelf, and judging a potential mate on their bookshelf. I am not going to label a big Dan Brown fan as a “bad” person. Hell, some of my best friends are… well, you know the drill. But when it comes to sharing my life with someone, I need them to not be deathly bored when I offer to read them my favourite passage from “Speak, Memory” or something. Which is why I’m glad that Habib is not (or else he just fakes it really well, har har).

Also, LK’s type is mine too (skinny pretty boys in eyeliner), and anyone who thinks that’s “societally approved” in the here and now is hallucinating. It’s subculturally approved, which is not quite the same thing.

Eek! I got competition!

Still not addressing the point, which is that feminism demands that men change what they are attracted to, but folks up in here are denying that such change is at all possible.

Well, as a feminist, I have never demanded a man to change what he is attracted to; that would be stupid. Honestly, I’ll never heard or seen any of the self-identifying feminists that I know do that. However, I have questioned why they are attracted to “so & so.” Let’s use the example you brought up, Asian women, because it’s a popular one among my male friends. The usual answer is, as you stated, “exotic and submissive.” Usually in these conversations, one stereotype is accompanied by another stereotype. One incident was with my cousin a few years back, who told my brother to marry an Asian woman, because primarily of the submissive stereotype, and because “Latinas are all nagging bitches.” His words, stated in front of me. Even as a Latina, I would get shit like “you are probably exotic and passionate, unlike X women.” Has this broad generalization been occurring on this thread? I see ideologies, I see politics, I see tastes, but nothing like this.

And trust me, the look of a preppy Republican (or a preppy anything) is not something that I would find physically attractive. Preppy…ill…*shivers* Physical attraction is something that’s unique to all. I don’t have an answer or formulation for physical attraction; I don’t think anyone does. For my own physical attraction, what I make of it is that it connects to my “scene” and my habits. However, let’s say that a pretty goth boy I’m eyeing turns out to be a Ron Paul fanatic (which seems to be an unfortunate pattern these days), the fucker is gonna get kicked to the curb with the quickness; fuck the prettiness.

However, on the issue of “demanding,” again I never demanded that a man change his taste. What I have demanded is that society wakes up and realizes that the definition of “beauty” is infinite, and that the “tall, white, blond, blue eyed” or “tall, dark and handsome” imagery is not one-size-fits-all.