I saddled up to the computer today and had this message waiting for me on Gchat, courtesy of my little sister:
i seriously got struck by lightning!
i got smote
but clearly, you are unconcerned
do i have to fall off my bike to get some attention?
jesus
The “fall off my bike” line was a reference to my dad, who got into a(nother) bike accident last week (he, like my lightening-struck sister, is fine, although he did ask me if I was studying for the Bar yet approximately six times in two days immediately after the accident. So, concussion — but that appears to have healed itself. Still better than the last bike accident, where the pain-killer-addled post-surgery conversation went something like, “Jill! Hi! I feel GREAT! Yeah, I’m still in the hospital, but we’re having a party! Everyone is here! Bob is here, and Tom is here, and Peter is here! …but they tell me I broke my neck. But I feel GREAT!”).
Oh, family.
So the Great Spaghetti Monster has rained down on the smaller Filipovic, and she feels she’s not getting the proper attention for it — so I figure I’ll give it to her here, so that her smiting can have an audience of thousands. Although I’m sure there’s a whole list of people who send me regular hate mail who are wondering why I’m not the one who got smote. Apparently God works in mysterious ways.
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She probably should have resuscitated someone else who was hit by lightning at the same time, and then run 9 miles to the nearest farmhouse to call the ambulance (back in the days before cell phones). That worked for the niece of an ex of mine in terms of getting attention! (Bravery Award from the State Premier)
I hope you sister is doing fine but I think you should count your blessings that it takes a lightning strike to get a guilt e-mail. I have two younger sisters who specialize in guilt e-mails over rather small matters. Mind you they would drive over still smoking if they thought it would help get the message across.
Holy crap. Not metaphor lightning, but in fact REAL lightning. At first I thought , “Wow, that’s some really bad luck.” But in hindsight, seeing as how your family keeps living through this crazy stuff, I’d say you all have really GOOD luck.
You should send her some tacky care package in the mail — with electric safety information and one of those necklaces with lightning bolts.
My aunt is getting her kidney removed (cancer) and I sent her kidney beans and a small plush kidney (gotta go to http://www.iheartguts.com) — also I sent nice things like chocolate. But gifts often help with guilt.
PS: I don’t think you need to be in any way ‘smote,’ Jill :)
Thats totally the kind of conversation that my sister and I would have. Its good that she’s okay. Definitely send her a care package. I recommend cookies, if only because I don’t think cupcakes travel well in the mail.
I’m glad your sister and father are OK. Why didn’t she just call if she wanted the immediate gratification of being an object of sympathy. With text you have to wait for the person to actually bother to read their messages, then bother to reply. It’s much better to force their attention, if that’s what you need.
I was struck by lightening as a little kid and thrown several feet*. My yellow rubber rain suit saved me. I’m still not fond of being in the open when there is lightening.
*It was most likely a near miss rather than a direct hit. No burn marks on the yellow suit.
So, are you studying for the Bar yet?
I don’t remember which site linked to Postcard from Yo Mama (it was *probably* you guys or Amanda. Or not. Sorry!), but your sister’s missive reminds me of that. Personally, I treasure my mother’s little “Yippee!”s. A-dork-able.
So, are you studying for the Bar yet? Wait, did I ask that already?
….I thought it was a piece of poetry and jesus was the punchline ‘author’. Apparently I need fewer or better drugs.
This post kind of makes me wish I had a sister.
This is another one with a Haiku-ish feel…
Struck by lightening I.
Clearly you are unconcerned.
Must I to bike fall?
Another one, just because I have nothing better to do:
Smote was I: god struck.
You: unconcerned. Attend you naught
But bike victim dad?
My sister would totally send me that email. :)
I was going to say “so, are you studying for the bar yet?” but Molly beat me to it.
When I was studying for 1L exams, my sister could have been struck by lightning right next to me and I wouldn’t have noticed. I’ve lightened up since then. Probably too much, actually.
I’m with Niles on this one — I thought it was poetry written by Jesus. I think we should write a song…
Did your sister actually get struck by lightning, Jill? That’s trippy.
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