Comments on: No, My First Name Ain’t Sweetie

By: Lorraine Grula

Lorraine Grula — Sun, 25 May 2008 18:11:20 +0000

Do not make a mountain out of a molehill.

I am an old lady. I call youngsters (anyone under 80) SWEETIE all the time.

It’s a bit different coming from an old lady than a pot bellied drunken construction worker but 98% of the time it is truly harmless and most people ARE trying to be nice.

Actually, I say “darlin” more than “sweetie” but either way….

By: Mnemosyne

Mnemosyne — Sat, 24 May 2008 06:38:18 +0000

Oh, and when I say “smaller,” I mean less obvious or blatant, not less important. Just to be clear.

By: Mnemosyne

Mnemosyne — Sat, 24 May 2008 06:37:18 +0000

I keep hearing this said, but I really can’t relate to this reality. I hear seriously racist statements made in public all the time, in the media and in my every day life. It’s the same with sexism. I would propose that if you don’t hear/see this, perhaps you are simply more conscious of sexism than racism.

That’s pretty likely true, at least in my case. I can catch fairly blatant stuff, but the smaller, dog-whistle type stuff probably goes over my head. I see it once someone draws my attention to it, but I don’t always see it on my own.

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By: J

Thu, 22 May 2008 21:39:41 +0000

Cara, I see your point, and this thread has gone on for quite a bit.

Hawise, thanks for responding with those points. I’m not familiar with the NCLB issue so I’ll definitely have to look into it. As for the other issues, I’ll just save it for a later thread…

By: TinaH

TinaH — Thu, 22 May 2008 17:26:40 +0000

This is probably OT at this point, but for heaven’s sakes, I wish people would read more Miss Manners. Every woman I speak to that I don’t know is “Ma’am” and every man I speak to that I don’t know is “Sir” even if they’re younger than me. And now that I’m 40 there’s more and more of those. You should see young people, especially those who are not privileged, straighten their shoulders up and hold themselves with pride when someone, especially a fat middle aged white woman with a kid and privilege, addresses them respectfully. It’s nice. Frankly, it’s subversive.

By: Jack

Jack — Thu, 22 May 2008 16:11:00 +0000

I keep hearing this said, but I really can’t relate to this reality. I hear seriously racist statements made in public all the time, in the media and in my every day life. It’s the same with sexism. I would propose that if you don’t hear/see this, perhaps you are simply more conscious of sexism than racism.

Juju, I completely agree. This whole trend of people saying that racism is verboten but sexism is just fine in our society is really getting on my nerves. Just because people aren’t casually throwing around the n-word doesn’t mean that there’s not a whole lot of racist talk and imagery saturating our societal discourse and the media, often conflated with classism. Some people seem to have a really hard time discerning racist talk when it doesn’t sound like it’s coming out of the mouth of a KKK member, and I have to believe that the ability to ignore or be blind to pervasive racism comes from the privilege of not having to deal with racism.

By: juju

juju — Thu, 22 May 2008 15:42:14 +0000

Because, yes, in public sexism is more acceptable than racism and you can get away with saying mildly sexist things much more easily than you can get away with saying mildly racist things, so there’s not the same pressure to change your ways in public.

I keep hearing this said, but I really can’t relate to this reality. I hear seriously racist statements made in public all the time, in the media and in my every day life. It’s the same with sexism. I would propose that if you don’t hear/see this, perhaps you are simply more conscious of sexism than racism.

I hate this compare and contrast of ism’s. It invariably leads to some folks like myself, WOC (who have to deal with both) and other multiply marginalized women, feeling alienated.

By: Hawise, Dame of the Deep-fried

Hawise, Dame of the Deep-fried — Thu, 22 May 2008 15:21:27 +0000

J. I don’t like his stance on NCLB as I find that it is a weak solution to a problem that has seriously damaged the overall system. I don’t think that his healthcare plan goes far enough to address the problems of the uninsured. His history of present votes in the Illinois Senate bothers me because I simply do not condone the use of present votes. They are a cop-out designed to save political ass and he has made a lot of them on issues where I would have like to see him make a stand for or against. The fact that he would have voted for Judge Roberts if his political allies hadn’t convinced him that it was a bad move bothers me because as President he will be chosing judges. As an American living in Canada, I am bothered that he has not called his committee to sit once when it would have been able to help a valuable international ally and support his stance on Afghanistan thereby giving him some credit that he could have used. I find him very conservative in outlook and therefore his stressing bipartisanship may mean that he is willing to toss more progressive allies in the ditch to reach concensus. His discussions on faith as it pertains to body integrity don’t sit well with me especially when you add it to how paternalistic he sounds whenever he actually discusses women (sweetie just being the most recent) and I remain on the fence where he is concerned.