That is just cruel.

It would augur the writer to research the feelings and attitudes of surrogate mothers in both the West, and developing countries before lamblasting what is a well-researched and considered decision – by the surrogates and the intended parents – entering into a surrogacy arrangement.

The person writing the “feminist” viewpoint expressed here is the oppressor, not me. We all want to do this. The writer has made an incredibly condescending judgement about surrogates and their motives for being surrogate mothers. don’t assume for one moment that surrogates are forced into making their decision to be surrogates.

I can’t think of a more beautiful gift of empowerment one woman can give to another – the girt of life. if she happens to be motivated by money, then all power to her. she is choosing to give life and choosing to better the lives of herself and her family.

Now, go shave shave your armpits.

If women choose to become prostitutes, we’re supposed to be supportive of their choice and make sure it’s safe and legal and bla bla bla, right?

If women choose to be surrogates, we’re supposed to be shocked and horrified at the exploitation.

But as a general rule, those of us who support making prostitution safe and legal (raises hand) don’t act supportive of Johns. It’s an important distinction, even if not an easy one. I support the right of women to sell sex and to do so in the safest possible circumstances — even if I don’t particularly like it. I don’t support the right of men to buy sex and in fact think that those who do are assholes. As a practical matter, you can’t support prostitutes without also supporting the Johns, but I think that it’s a legitimate area of conflict.

Now I’m not saying that men who buy sex and people who pay surrogate mothers are a perfect comparison by any means, but I’m working with the example given here. My point is simply that you can support the rights and best possible conditions for an oppressed person while still having very negative feeling towards the oppressor. In fact, unlike in this case, this statement would generally be considered obvious.

I used to be categorically against surrogacy, yet I have known one intelligent young woman who chose this willingly and after much thought.

Thanks for bringing up a difficult, hairy-ass subject.

Very few women are placing a child for adoption because they are in a secure situation and they just don’t want a child. Most are women in a bad situation financially or otherwise and they would keep the child if they could find a way to do it. Women in a secure situation are likely to keep the child or have an abortion. There aren’t a lot of Junos out there. Most babies have some type of fetal drug or alcohol exposure , not the hallmark of women that have economic freedom.

I think the important thing here is the children. If they wind up in the orphanage because they are wanted but cannot be kept, that is tragic. But the adoptive parents didn’t cause that situation. The unadopted child will not somehow be reclaimed by the parents, in the grand majority of cases. Your guilt about adopting will not solve the underlying problem, and if you did not adopt, it would not mean that those children’s lives would be better and would most likely mean the opposite.

My sisters were adopted from Korea. We will never know what the situation was and of course it is likely that poverty had a lot to do with it. We do know that at least one of them dealt with substantial abuse and malnourishment prior to the adoption and the other was abandoned at one year old. I am not sure what declining to adopt would have done for them, or for their birth parents.

Actually what you should be picking up is how neo-colonialism impacts women and that capitalism necessarily privileges some and exploits others. This is more about the system of exchange than anything else.

I will acknowledge that is ironic that you can now put your sweatshop-made baby clothes on a sweatshop-made baby. But I will also note that there is not a one of us who is not guilty of benefiting from the exploitation of foreign workers – most of us thousands and thousands of times over throughout our lives. It’s interesting to me that we’re targeting an interchange between sufferers of a disease only women get, and women who have found a way to gamble their health to escape the conditions that surround the people who make everything else around you as you type this. Unless you have found a fair-trade source of paperclips and computer parts, in which case, link please.