Oh and you’re right, Toast’s comment was creepy, for sure.

It’s one thing to call it creepy if that’s how you feel, but I think accusations of rape and/or calling someone a rapist because of it, is way over the line.

Toast’s comment was clearly a light-hearted (and funny) reference to wanking. The vicious attack and accusations of rape and sexual assault were completely uncalled for. Not only that, but it seriously undermines and trivializes the terror of actual rape as well as the victims of it.

Some people perfectly personify the stereotype of the humorless feminist. And the comments to Toast are a perfect example of why I hesitate to publicly identify as a feminist at all anymore – I don’t want to be lumped together with the ones who shriek like that over the slightest offense, real or imagined.

I agree with you wholeheartedly on this, and find your take on the subject a refreshing change to a lot of what I see in feminist circles on the internet.

Great post and follow up comments!

Anyway, it’s not meant to be an attack. Just saying.

About hot chicks or hot studs threads, it seems a bit silly for feminists to complain about the objectification of women then participate in such. That’s a bit different than merely thinking that someone is attractive, or chatting with someone IRL about it.

It also looks to me like men are becoming more objectified and now subject to the same crap that women are – axe body sprays because your natural body doesn’t smell good, elaborate skin care products, etc. I suppose that’s one way to achieve equality, but a world where every hot chick thread has a hot studs equivalent, while equal, doesn’t strike me as a huge improvement.

Would you or anyone else here have any ideas on how to grapple with these issues?

Hmm, I’m probably not the best person to speak to about that. But there are other great bloggers here. And you should check out Womanist Musings.

So why would I feel like it had anything to do with me, and why would I behave that way toward someone else?

I wouldn’t presume to tell you how to feel and behave. What I am telling you is that others might choose a different path.

never saw the difference between that and “The Official Hot Chicks Thread” at a random video game website.

Mmmm, I look at “hot chicks” threads rather frequently (and have one on my blog). Monica Bellucci and Michelle Yeoh are personal favourites. Many lesbian blogs will have “hot chicks” threads as well.

I do think that it would be nice if there were more “hot studs” threads out there. And I do work tirelessly to correct that balance.