On one hand, you have what everyone else has pointed out. On the other, in this society, especially for someone who grew up the daughter of fairly conservative Christian parents, no, a girl kissing a girl would NOT be “what good girls do.” I grew up in a very strict Lutheran household and it took me years to wrestle with that very issue when I started realizing that I really liked the female form and not just on an artistic merit. Most people, in fact, are taught to believe that only sinners, or ‘bad girls’ kiss other girls.

It’s a woman exploring her sexuality, seeing if her attraction to females is more than a passing interest. The alcohol may have given her the guts to do it, but it doesn’t say that the urge hadn’t been there before. Just that it acted as dutch courage, as the saying goes. And come on, that happens all the time in any ‘first move’, regardless of if we’re talking about a queer or a straight match up.

I assume from the tone of the song and the fact that she’s got a drink in hand that she’s probably at a club, or a bar for this little tryst. It’s not uncommon in either queer or straight interactions to go to a bar for a one-night stand. So chances are, whatever partner she picked up wasn’t looking for anything than a one-night thing, either. If she’s using this opportunity to see if she’s truly sexually attracted to women and her partner isn’t looking to fall in love either, then so be it. If she were leading on someone who was genuinely interested, I’d have a problem, but the tone of the song and the setting it presents says this girl she kissed probably wasn’t genuinely interested beyond a good lay.

And if we are indeed talking about a one-night stand, how often do straight people have one-night affairs without ever knowing their partner’s name? It’s not any more immoral for what Katy’s ‘character’ within this song is doing than it would be if it were a typical male/female dynamic in the song. (I’m not going into the morality of that kind of arrangement, because that’s not really my business and I say, as long as everyone’s consenting, more power to you.)

Now, with her waking up in bed with her boyfriend and smiling like that? Well, you could interpret it as her waking up and happily snuggling back ‘where she belongs, with her opposite-sex partner’, or you could see a very “cat with cream on its whiskers” smug smile of a lady with a very dirty secret. She had an affair. More than that, she had an affair that society tells her is doubly wrong because it was with another woman, and oh, she loved every bit of it.

I know this article is so old and probably hasn’t been commented on in ages, but I just thought I’d put my two cents in.

“I kissed a girl, and I liked it”.. the focus here is on her own pleasure, rather than the pleasure of the observing male. They boyfriend is mentioned, yes, but it’s not clear that the whole thing is being performed for his benefit (it’s merely wondered as to whether he would “mind”), while there’s plenty of lyrics to support the protagonist’s own enjoyment as being paramount.

The lyrics about it “not what good girls do” have to be seen, I think, in context with the hetero-normative moral paradigms of Middle America (remember Katy Perry’s religious origins here). Agaisnt such a background, expressing bi-curious thoughts is indeed transgressive – and the song comes out of that background, rather than expressing an endorsement of that background. Similar arguments apply to the objectifying language: “don’t even know your name”, “experimental game” etc.

The overall impression, for me, is that here’s a song about someone from a heteronormative background with bi-curious leanings, who had an experience which was transgressive to the moral norms which surrounded them, but was nonetheless enjoyable.

No, it’s not the progressive song about lesbian relationships that might have been hoped for – but it’s the cheeky defiance of “I liked it” which sticks in my mind.

(“Ur So Gay” is indeed about hipsters, but I still don’t approve of “gay” being used to mean “hipsterish and effeminate”, and especially so as a perjorative. Similarly to “I Kissed A girl”, I’m sure it’s all meant in fun, but in that case the use of language does annoy me sufficiently to make me dislike the record.)

When she belts out that she “liked it,” that seem like a defiance of the expectation that she shouldn’t feel anything, that she should just be kissing girls because the boys like it. I think the idea that that she was personally, independently wanting to kiss a girl is supported by her explaining that she “got so brave, drink in hand,” which means to me that she wanted to do it before and for her own reasons. She’s “curious,” and girls “caught [her]attention.” Also, she doesn’t hope her boyfriend likes it, she hopes he “doesn’t mind it,” and she sounds much more like she’s implying “and if he doesn’t he can screw off” rather than “if he doesn’t I’ll beg forgiveness.” Katy Perry is in control of her own sexuality, and shes asserting whatever she damn well pleases with that.

Part of that total power trip she’s on is that she’s also instrumentalizing the girl she’s with. But take a look at the situation – drunk, possibly straight girls kissing at a party. The assumption is that it’s a casual encounter, and I don’t think experimentation is wrong in that instance. I think she’s right that it doesn’t have to be “in love tonight.” Yes, it sucks to be hit on by some attention whore seeking male titillation, but given Perry’s character is at least interested in girls, it seems like a more honest experimentation than that. A kiss is just a kiss, not a life commitment or even a date.

The most concerning parts are when she calls the girl she kisses an “experimental game” and talks about trying her on. But it’s certainly descriptive of the way a lot of party girls treat each other. I think those parts are either a snapshot of the darker underbelly of experimentation, or an assertion of Perry’s character’s power. Yes, it’s masculine, dominating, individualized power. But it’s also heady, and sometimes a girl has to claim that domineering side of herself, even if only in a song (so as to not actually mislead and hurt people).

P.S. I agree completely with DerekSpade about the Ur So Gay song being clearly about hipsters, with no offense meant to gays.

P.P.S. Full disclosure: I’m bisexual, and this isn’t just an apologia for a song I like. It’s a genuine opinion.

I am straight, and frankly I really hate that point of view that all women are “thisclose” to being bi-sexual or gay, but men are so clearly defined as one or the other; basically, we’re pliable playthings and they’re not. I’d really love an equivalent of this song about a guy that is all about a woman doing what she wants because she wants to do it, and has none of that “teasing” crap to it. Can’t see that happening in the near future though.

I think its just to get her attention. Or her boyfriend’s attention. Either way, I don’t take it seriously.

While I have had this same debate with my queer, feminist buds about Katy Perry…about whether we love the song or hate it, there is something here not being talked about.

Queerness, even if it IS a ridiculous version of bisexual experimentation, is being celebrated in mainstream media. Do Tila Tequila and Katy Perry offend me on some level for all of the reasons above? Yes. Did I end up watching Tila Tequila on an all afternoon marathon one day, all the while critiquing the gendered “blue and pink” and ridiculous sexualization of women-on-women sex from the male gaze AND enjoying myself? Totally. The fact that teengage girls are singing along to this tune is enough for me. Ur so gay does offend me, deeply, as I HATE “gay” being used as a signifier for “stupid, lame, etc,” but after looking at the lyrics, I understand more what she is trying to convey. Still think that it perpetuates homophobia. And I still think I kissed a girl perpetuates stereotypes about bisexuals, but this is a step in the right direction, if you look at the larger picture.

If just one teenage girl hears her own coming out story in this song, or realizes it’s OK to act on her attraction to women, I’m happy. If it opens to door for queer topics and, eventually, queer artists to become mainstream, I’m ecstatic.

A great use of these song against Degrassi footage (which is one of the first shows marketed to teens that truly addresses coming out).