Comments on: Things we’re afraid to buy in person

By: Strange But True: Liquid Virgin Drops | micklanders

Strange But True: Liquid Virgin Drops | micklanders — Tue, 22 Jul 2008 08:01:53 +0000

[...] bloggers have also posted about strange things for sale, usually at the disturbing and sexist end of the [...]

By: elalak

elalak — Mon, 21 Jul 2008 17:03:14 +0000

my sexual world was turned upside-down when i dated a girl from eastern europe. she didn’t hold sex as a power trip, she wasn’t ashamed of it, it wasn’t taboo. it was merely something to be enjoyed by both people and often. it was so freeing how natural sex was, unlike it often is here in america.

By: R

Fri, 18 Jul 2008 18:34:54 +0000

I don’t know, I’m all for Shop Private. I don’t think a reticence to talk about (or walk around with products to treat) essentially yucky things is a bad thing. I would prefer not to have to think about other customers’ downstairs parts while shopping, and I would prefer if they were ignorant as to the state of mine. There’s a certain degree of decorum that should be maintained – and I, for one, think there’s a point at which openness becomes oversharing.

By: Feminist perspective | Personal Lubricant

Feminist perspective | Personal Lubricant — Thu, 17 Jul 2008 20:21:10 +0000

[...] just read a great blog entry on Feministe that addresses both lubricants and the “sure grip” product I wrote about in my last [...]

By: timothynakayama

timothynakayama — Thu, 17 Jul 2008 02:17:36 +0000

The virgin drops are not my favorite…. try China Shrink Cream…. it’s MUCH better. It made sex better for me and my fiancé…. I don’t think it’s sexist at all.

It could be racist though….why is it called China Shrink Cream?
Hopefully because it’s made in China.

By: Sara

Sara — Wed, 16 Jul 2008 19:57:31 +0000

The virgin drops are not my favorite…. try China Shrink Cream…. it’s MUCH better. It made sex better for me and my fiancé…. I don’t think it’s sexist at all.

By: UnFit

UnFit — Wed, 16 Jul 2008 19:45:22 +0000

And Carmen, all of that really does sound unsettling.

By: UnFit

UnFit — Wed, 16 Jul 2008 19:44:39 +0000

@ Jenga: Yes, but I *still* don’t think it’s that simple ;)

@ timothynakayama, re advertising: I’m German, and the other day I saw a bit on tv about the sexual differences between the East and the West.

Before and immediately after the reunification, the East Germans reported to have way more, way better, more satisfying sex, and they were more open about it than the Western ones.

And it seems that at least part of that comes from the fact that in the West, we had porn and sexualized ads very early, but had to fight harder to get birth control and comprehensive sex ed. While the East had no porn, hardly any ads, sexualized or not, but provided birth control, free daycare, comprehensive sex ed, and they had lots of nude beaches.

So the Easterners who got their information about sex and the human body from real life ended up less prude, inhibited and ashamed than the Westerners who got the same “info” from idealized porn and ads. Makes sense to me.

By: lathan

lathan — Wed, 16 Jul 2008 12:05:50 +0000

Both penises and vaginas are seen as disgusting, but men are supposed to be disgusting and women aren’t (ie, ‘girls don’t poop/fart/etc’). Also, penises are a powerful kind of disgusting, like some kind of horrible but potent weapon. while vaginas are a weaker, more pathetic kind of disgusting.

By: Carmen

Carmen — Wed, 16 Jul 2008 07:58:19 +0000

I used to work at a sex toy store, and there was a glass case towards the front that I hated. It smelled funny, and was full of products like ejaculation delaying creams/sprays, “Long and Hard” herbal supplements, “Liquid Virgin” and variations thereof, and Anal-Ease.

It bothered me, that case. It seemed that everyone who wandered to it was hell bent on making my feminist sensibilities squirm.

One female customer: “My husband’s gettin’ out of jail soon, and I want him to remember what I was like when we first got married.” *buys Liquid Virgin*

Another: “My boyfriend wants to try anal sex, so he sent me here to get some of that stuff to numb me up.” *buys Anal-Ease*

Male customer: “I want to have butt sex with my girlfriend, but she doesn’t want to. Where’s that numbing shit?” *Anal-Ease*

Another male customer: “My wife’s too loose. Don’t you sell something that makes ‘em tight again?” *buys Liquid Virgin*

Once, a girl came in asking for poppers. When I asked her why she wanted them, she explained that her boyfriend sent her there to get them so he could have anal sex with her. I helped her out (she bought a good silicone lube and The Ultimate Guide to Anal Sex for Women by Tristan Taormino, as well as a small talk on how, believe it or not, women can enjoy anal sex and no, you don’t have to be drugged or numbed), but after she left, I honestly wanted to cry. Who sent his nervous girlfriend alone into a sex toy store to ask for poppers – POPPERS, of ALL THINGS – for her FIRST TIME having anal sex? ARGGHHH.

Sorry, I digress.

The problem with the sex toy/product industry is that because it’s such a taboo for some, people can be jerked around by fear, misinformation, and preying on their greatest insecurities. People are afraid to ask too many questions or to question products. The very existence of a product like “Liquid Virgin” creates a question where there previously wasn’t one – “Am I too loose? Will he want me tight again? Is it better if I use it?”

It hurts me, it really does. It may have made me happy to sell dildos and vibrators to people, and give out good information where I could, but those creams and pills and sprays just make me frustrated. It’s sexism, and it’s also a symptom of a generally sexually misinformed culture.

*hops down from soapbox*