We’ve played this before, but for new readers, here’s the game: We have 12 contestants for the award of Feministe’s Next Top Troll. Their comments are below the fold, along with a nice little voting thingy where you can click on your favorite. Read their comments, pick the most egregious (or hilarious) and vote away. General misogyny warnings abound. We’ll narrow it down to the Top 3 and then do a run-off. Voting closes whenever I get bored and close it, so vote early and vote often. Enjoy!
(And if you’ve ever wondered what the Feministe mod queue looks like, now you have an idea — and the sad part is, these are the funny ones which are benign enough to publish). Now go vote!
1. Rudy Ericson, who I’m pretty sure is complete satire, but this was just so over-the-top and bizarre that I had to include it:
First off: NO DOES NOT MEAN NO! Always has, always will.
BTW, men never make false accusations for monetary gain.
2. Andrew S, who, let’s just say, leaves me a bit confused:
Squinting through pink Lambrusco colored glasses is very hard to do when one sports the wrong type of appendage, and lives not large at the emperors indulgence. More especially when hollywood becomes reality for the stupid, and increasingly the gullible. I say males should abandon the neo slave mothership and unfurl those sails for lands anew. It seems the real barbarians just have to wait a little while more at the gates, for when the need for old style chivalry arises. I forsake answering the call, for what do I care. My navel is examined, and the vassel that spewed me forth has nurtured too many clones. The barbarians can have at’em to their hearts content. Like all dreams, the keys were handed over to the enlightened ones, who appear to be so well instructed by their serpents.
3. GWB, who posted this comment under several different handles:
Well, Jill, we’ve found something you’re good at, blogging about animals.
Really, you don’t seem like a dimwit like zuzu, but you are intellectually dishonest, smug, and not half as informed as you think you are. learn some history, some econ, something about other culturees i.e. something more profound than feminist obsessively narrow minded takes on the world.
ugh, I am so gald to be rid of America, Rush Limbaugh and silly feminists alike.
4. Joey, who recognizes the value in simplicity:
5. Mike Paahana, who loooves his double-e’s:
jme u must be da beegest feminist b/c ur ass is reel beeg
6. A man who lists his email address as “firstname.lastname@example.org“:
All you crazy cunts need to get a clue. Women are not mentally capable of ruling. Hell you can barely think straight enough to drive cars. The rest of the time you spend running from mice. Just so you know – you will never be equal. It’s like this – just because the rabbit desires to be the equal of the wolf doesn’t mean that she won’t get her ass eaten. Stop dreaming of “being equal” and start ironing shirts!!! You dumb fat bitches. :)
7. Anand, a truly patriotic conservative:
ingraham makes perfect sense. these marxist-leninist slimeballs shouldnt be allowed to get away with this. i say hire bin laden and crash a few empty planes into berkeley, then order the marines, army nat guard and the rest to stand down. lets see code pink defend the land..
the benjamin girl is ridiculous. “we want the military to focus on defence and stay within the US”??????? what the hell does that mean? isnt that what the police is for? or does she think that we should have a huge army but using it in anyway is illegal?
8. TexxDude, a truly patriotic Southern gentleman (and clearly an English major):
you people that read this site are all going to hell, dont worry there wont be any southern white men there !!! rot in piece
9. “Hater,” who is totally about equal rights:
I’m so tird of you militant cunts only fighting for women’s rights, how about EVERYONE’S rights!
10. From “Roy Mustang,” who came over from protein wisdom, a wee poem:
Silly feminist. I blame the 19th amendment.
Women shouldn’t be allowed to vote.
I’d rather hear opinions from a goat.
They’re clearly all insane.
We should just remove their brains.
And send them out to sea and sink the boat.
11. By a young man who leaves the creative email address “email@example.com.” Brilliant!
It must suck to be you, and to find something that offends you in every movie, every ad, every facet of your life, because everyone hates you and is against you. And all you can do in defense is post in your little blog and other menopausal, unattractive and/or heavyset women will commiserate, because they too belong to the sisterhood of the damned. But their life sucks, too, and their approval merely reinforces the fact you are a loveless, joyless, bitter person, full of resentments and perceived wrongs against yourself and your class, and for whom death will be a blessed relief from this coil of anguish and unfairness. But who will take care of your cat?
And then you awaken from life’s lonely dream to find that Satan is a man, and he is also God. And he tells you to go iron his fucking shirt, no sexual release needed babe, thanks anyway, just get those shirts. I have breeder quality girls for that, you’re on the ironing and housekeeping team, hun, just like last life..
12. From a post about “Cuttin’ Up Hookers” t-shirts, from a person who is clearly much smarter than all of us:
what the fuck is wrong with you, get over yourselves personally i like the shirts and i think you all just dont have enough to do with your life except think about things like why a shirt shouldnt be distributed, dude im a strong girl and a smart girl hell im probably smarter than all of you dumbass ‘FEMINISTE’ it boggles my mind that this website exists go to hell i hate people like you fuckers feminism is such farce and so are all of you, youre like the man haters from pcu, oh yeah you guys probably dont watch movies or mainstream television bc its sexist, i put boys in their places the right way, by being better than them at everything, and you just bitch about cuttin up hookers? go alex, you win i think your clothes are awesome and all of you dumb ass people are just too self involved to get that HOOKERS ARE FUCKING THE WORST FORM OF FEMINISM EVER so cuttin them up metaphorically, satirically, figuratively would be the BEST thing you could hope for, cut up the whole goddamn genre of sex workers, oh wait youre just too dumb to think of that right?
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