In short: Women suck, Batman rulez.

Reports are out that Christian Bale, star of the new hit Batman movie, has been arrested in London for the alleged assault of his mother and sister. I will admit that when I saw these reports this morning, I had that brief moment of disbelief – “Him? Could he really do that?” – that is so common when apparent “good guy” actors get accused of stuff like this. As if being a great actor makes one immune to doing fucked up, ugly, or violent things; as if one could possibly know anything about stars from the little that filters through the media or their performances; as if violent, abusive acts are only committed by people who have been doing so from birth. (I’ll also admit feeling a rather base and thoroughly selfish sadness that the news could seriously taint my viewing of The Dark Knight, a movie that I’ve been anxiously awaiting and am planning on seeing very soon. Suckily frivolous and beside the point, I know.)

I guess it was my morning to be shocked by things that are sadly par for the course in our fucked up, sexist society, because I was even more shocked by some of the responses that people have had in the comments of news sites and blogs reporting the incident – many people insisting that we not prejudge Bale before the full facts come out (sure, OK, I’ll give you that) while judging his mother and sister as lying, greedy, scheming vultures in the same breath. See here, here, here and here, where one guy goes on the defensive before anyone even talks about Bale and complains:

I hope you’ll indulge my annoyance, but I’m getting a little tired of the “guilty until proven innocent” anytime someone accuses some dude of domestic abuse.

Oh yeah, because that’s how it usually plays out. Same with rape allegations. And especially when a celebrity is involved. Yeah, no one ever doubts, slanders, and pillories the women in question! Give me a fucking break.

Between the people so quick to absolve a man and condemn women, the ridiculously imbalanced treatment of a rich famous white dude by the London police (wonder if a poor/non-famous/non-white person would be given time to take care of business before getting hauled in?), and the allegations themselves, the whole thing is pretty sickening.

(And yeah, I hope that somehow the allegations are untrue as well, but because I hope that women weren’t assaulted. That should be the most important thing here – not people having their movie superhero’s rep go untarnished.)

cross-posted at AngryBrownButch

ETA: I changed the name of this post from “Because clearly, Batman is the true victim here” because that didn’t really get at the point I was trying to make. I don’t know if this one does, either, but it annoys me less. Sometimes I hate coming up with titles for these posts!


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52 comments for “In short: Women suck, Batman rulez.

  1. Caro
    July 22, 2008 at 11:31 am

    It’s certainly shocking, especially considering that his stepmother (his late father’s widow) is Gloria Steinem!!!

  2. July 22, 2008 at 11:50 am

    The comments on those links are certainly the usual “Celebrity X that I happen to be into right now is a member of godlike royalty in my worldview! Surely he can’t have done anything wrong!” Of course, the same crowd of idiots turn on celebrities like a pack of dogs when they lose interest or their careers start to falter. And of course they treat female celebs much worse (see also: Britney Spears). But Christian Bale is a golden boy at the moment, he can’t have done any wrong!

    Don’t worry though, Jack. I saw The Dark Knight last night and Bale’s performance is easily the least compelling reason to go see it. He’s overshadowed by almost everything else in the film.

  3. July 22, 2008 at 12:05 pm

    You know, when I first read this I thought “I can totally see that!” Even knowing that his stepmother is Gloria Steinem. He seems the “type”– knowing that there isn’t really a type, but if there was, he’d be it for me.

  4. July 22, 2008 at 12:25 pm

    Well, he seems the “type” in that he only likes to play characters with deep, serious issues, and he gets almost scarily into the roles — but I have no idea how that reflects on him as a person outside of his acting life, because he’s actually been very careful about keeping his privacy as much as possible.

    This news makes me really, really sad. I’ve been a huge CB fan since, oh, Newsies, and just feel so let down and disappointed.

  5. Who knows
    July 22, 2008 at 12:29 pm

    These celeb families are so dysfunctional, who knows what’s going on. Maybe the mom was mad and jealous and called hte cops on him. Maybe he’s a jerk. Who knows?

  6. July 22, 2008 at 12:38 pm

    I saw The Dark Knight last night and Bale’s performance is easily the least compelling reason to go see it. He’s overshadowed by almost everything else in the film.

    I laugh whenever Bale Batman speaks (in both movies). He’s trying SO HARD to sound husky and scary. It shows. Seriously, they should have Kevin Conroy dub over his dialogue whenever he’s in Batman mode.

  7. SarahMC
    July 22, 2008 at 12:51 pm

    Apparently, bringing a man into custody for questioning = presuming him guilty and sending him to prison.

  8. July 22, 2008 at 1:16 pm

    Rebecca, I agree with you on all counts. Especially Newsies. Newsies has a special place in my heart!

  9. Daomadan
    July 22, 2008 at 2:03 pm

    Ah, more Newsies fans! Been in love with CB since then…we’ll have to see how this story pans out. Disappointing to say the least.

  10. FashionablyEvil
    July 22, 2008 at 2:09 pm

    I laugh whenever Bale Batman speaks

    I kept being distracted by his tongue. That sounds dirty, but it isn’t. It just looks totally weird.

  11. Who knows
    July 22, 2008 at 2:31 pm

    BREAKING NEWS:

    It was “verbal assault.” Do not confuse this with “assault” in the U.S. which may be indicated by words like “I will harm you imminently.” Verbal assault is a crime in England – as in words alone, no threat of imminent bodily harm. He may have just said something like “Mom, you’re a $#@@ I hope you rot in hell you stupid @#$@” Rude, yes. But not that out of the ordinary or newsworthy.

    “Between the people so quick to absolve a man and condemn women, the ridiculously imbalanced treatment of a rich famous white dude by the London police (wonder if a poor/non-famous/non-white person would be given time to take care of business before getting hauled in?), and the allegations themselves, the whole thing is pretty sickening.”

    In light of these new facts, I don’t think anything was imbalanced. Somebody who “verbally assaults” someone is not exactly an imminent threat to society who needs to be whisked away. Do you know what Scotland Yard’s policy is towards “non rich white dudes” who are suspected of “verbal assault?” If not, you might want to hold off on passing judgment.

  12. July 22, 2008 at 2:39 pm

    Ironically, last night I was talking to my boyfriend about my love of Christian Bale and told him that even if I had the opportunity to sleep with Christian Bale I wouldn’t because it would probably destroy the illusions that I have of him based on his acting career. I guess I was more right than I knew.

    I hope that no one was seriously hurt and that Who Knows update about it being verbal assault is true. (I also hope that this was a one-time occurrence brought on by alcohol and stress rather than this being his actual personality. But I still like his movies.)

  13. Brendan
    July 22, 2008 at 3:17 pm

    I laugh whenever Bale Batman speaks (in both movies). He’s trying SO HARD to sound husky and scary.

    That’s part of the character–he is playing Bruce Wayne playing Batman.

    I hope this somehow turns out to be not as bad as it sounds…

  14. Daomadan
    July 22, 2008 at 3:38 pm

    “I laugh whenever Bale Batman speaks (in both movies). He’s trying SO HARD to sound husky and scary.”

    My friend and I spent at least two hours after the film impersonating the Joker and Batman. We’re still not sick of saying “Why so serious?” or saying in that gravelly voice “This is my Batman voice.”

  15. July 22, 2008 at 4:07 pm

    And of course Peter, (my boyfriend) sends me an article about it with the comments: “Beefcake in trouble?”

  16. July 22, 2008 at 4:08 pm

    Wikipedia doesn’t back up Who knows says comment. Though I still hope he’s right.

    When I worked with a group of batterers, the first thing that struck me was how normal they were. A couple of them were even charming and attractive. Intellectually I knew that abusers come in all types, but the first time I actually saw how regular and even appealing they could be, it did break down some stuff for me. I wish everyone could have the same experience. I think it would cut out a lot of the assumptions that every abuser must be some nasty guy who doesn’t have any good qualities (and that someone cuuute like Bale couldn’t possibly do such a thing).

  17. July 22, 2008 at 4:13 pm

    That’s part of the character–he is playing Bruce Wayne playing Batman.

    In the animated series, the creators interpreted it as Batman donning a Bruce mask, not the other way around. That’s how I look at it too I guess, so Bale Batman seems goofy to me.

  18. ::
    July 22, 2008 at 5:31 pm

    This case smacks of hysteria and opportunism. Personally I despise people who call the cops for every little thing, including incidents where things did get a little physical. Everybody fights, it’s normal. Happens in most families. If you get insulted or smacked, you insult or smack right back, and don’t go running to Big Daddy State like some scared little bitch. Lose the counterproductive victim mentality, and get some fucking diggity!

  19. July 22, 2008 at 5:43 pm

    This case smacks of hysteria and opportunism. Personally I despise people who call the cops for every little thing, including incidents where things did get a little physical. Everybody fights, it’s normal. Happens in most families. If you get insulted or smacked, you insult or smack right back, and don’t go running to Big Daddy State like some scared little bitch. Lose the counterproductive victim mentality, and get some fucking diggity!

    You know what else lacks dignity? Getting banned from a feminist site and then coming back and posting under a new name. Considering I banned your ass when you were posting under the name Paraponera, I’m going to go ahead and delete any more comments you leave.

    And before you send me emails or leave comments complaining about it, I’ll suggest that you lose the counterproductive victim mentality.

    Fuck off now.

  20. July 22, 2008 at 5:53 pm

    And in case that isn’t sufficient warning for others: Comments about how calling the police when you’re being abused “lacks dignity” or is “whining” won’t be tolerated. Neither will using terms like “scared little bitch.” For fuck’s sake.

    I’m leaving this comment up because (a) it’s Jack’s post not mine, and (b) because it’s a really good illustration of How Women Can’t Win, especially in light of this post: Linguistics and Meaning of “Why Did She Stay?”

    No, it is not “normal” for families to hit each other or verbally abuse each other. It may be common, but it is not acceptable or normal or ok. It is not hysterical to call the police if you are being physically assaulted or threatened. Everybody does fight, but not everybody fights with their fists; not everybody fights in a way that is threatening or abusive.

    It takes great strength to ask the authorities to intervene in a physical incident between you and someone you love. I know most of our readers know that, and perhaps most of us understand it cognitively, but when it comes to real-life application, it’s hard. So it’s worth repeating: Self-protection, including calling the police on someone you love if that person is hurting you, is very brave. Getting help when you need it is a sign of strength, even if you don’t feel particularly strong when you’re doing it.

  21. Ali
    July 22, 2008 at 6:01 pm

    but Jill, she/he wanted us to get some fucking DIGGITY, not dignity. I mean, that’s a completely reasonable request.

    In all seriousness though, I wholeheartedly agree with both your posts just now… That stuff needs to be said more often.

  22. July 22, 2008 at 6:19 pm

    but Jill, she/he wanted us to get some fucking DIGGITY, not dignity. I mean, that’s a completely reasonable request.

    I googled “DIGGITY” for kicks and found “bomb diggity” is a slang term.

    2. bomb diggity
    Awesomeness in its purest form.
    “Holy shit, KELLY IS DA BOMB DIGGITY!”

    :: wants people to be more awesome? :: might be able to acomplish that without the passive aggressive anger. It’s not our fault his/her parents put four dots on a birth certificate and passed that off as a name.

  23. Who knows
    July 22, 2008 at 6:27 pm

    Jill:

    laying down the pwnag3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  24. Ismone
    July 22, 2008 at 6:33 pm

    There are at least rumors circulating that it was verbal, not physical, assault.

    I want to give him the benefit of the doubt, but I think that is because I’m a fan.

  25. July 22, 2008 at 6:44 pm

    I’m leaving this comment up because (a) it’s Jack’s post not mine

    Actually, I’ve been away from the internet for much of the day and didn’t see that comment in moderation, else it wouldn’t be up there. I don’t tolerate vile bullshit like that, either. Thank you for what you said in your comments, Jill.

    In light of these new facts, I don’t think anything was imbalanced. Somebody who “verbally assaults” someone is not exactly an imminent threat to society who needs to be whisked away. Do you know what Scotland Yard’s policy is towards “non rich white dudes” who are suspected of “verbal assault?” If not, you might want to hold off on passing judgment.

    @Who knows: your “breaking news” can only be confirmed by TMZ who cites “reports circulating” (always a reliable source) and a blog that quotes TMZ, so you’re hardly presenting new “facts.” And as for Scotland Yard, I’m willing to bet that like nearly every police force in multicultural cities, they’ve got some racism and classism going on in how they treat suspects of any crimes, minor or major. And considering that Scotland Yard is about to be sued for racial discrimination against one of their own – in fact, the highest ranked Asian officer in the force – I’d be willing to put forth a hefty wager.

  26. Katy
    July 22, 2008 at 6:45 pm

    UHHH, I don’t think he’s one of the “good guy” actors. He always plays dark, moody characters and anyone that would play his character in American Psycho has gotta be messed up. I’m not saying I think he’s violent, I don’t know, but if you surround yourself in violence by being in these kind of hollywood movies, even just watching them, then you’re more likely to be violent toward others.

    I know we’re not supposed to judge a book by it’s cover, but every second he’s on screen, he creeps me out, always has. I personally judge actors by what parts they take, so I’m not at all surprised to hear that he’s maybe not the nicest guy around.

    He’s not even that good of an actor, and he’s not at ALL worthy of playing Batman.

    Seriously what part did he ever play that gave anyone warm feelings about him? I’m baffled.

  27. July 22, 2008 at 6:47 pm

    i read this post at work, felt sad (for the women, not so much for Bale) and drove home… on my way home i was listening to the radio where they covered this story. They said the following: “Did you hear Christian Bale was arrested for assaulting his mum and sister?” “They probably deserved it. Batman only puts people who deserve it in their place”

    niiiiiiiiiice…

  28. July 22, 2008 at 6:51 pm

    Actually, I’ve been away from the internet for much of the day and didn’t see that comment in moderation, else it wouldn’t be up there. I don’t tolerate vile bullshit like that, either.

    Yeah, I figured — sorry, wasn’t trying to imply that you let it up on purpose! Just wanted to clarify that we usually don’t delete comments on other bloggers’ posts. I still don’t know how it got let through the mod queue, though.

  29. Ismone
    July 22, 2008 at 6:52 pm

    Katy, I think that is really unfair. What did you think of Gary Oldman, who played commissioner Gordon? I didn’t even recognize him he’s been so creepy in the past. I’ve played Lady Macbeth (no, just in drama class, but still I wanted to play her).

    I think it is a big mistake to conflate the actor with the role.

    But if you want a touchy-feely Christian Bale role, he is awesome in 3:10 to Yuma.

  30. July 22, 2008 at 6:53 pm

    No diggity, no doubt?

  31. July 22, 2008 at 6:55 pm

    Play on, playette.

  32. July 22, 2008 at 7:04 pm

    @Katy: When I wrote “good guy” actor, I meant that unlike many other actors, Bale hasn’t been in trouble a whole lot, at least not in the public sphere. However, I agree with Ismone – I think it’s unfair and useless to judge actors by their roles. Should I be afraid that Anthony Hopkins is going to go out and eat someone’s liver with a nice glass of Chianti? No. Should we assume that the countless women who get cast in countless sexist roles are actually weak or stupid or whatever other demeaning thing they’re cast as? No.

    I think that it’s ridiculous that people think Bale couldn’t possibly do it because he’s a great actor and they love him and his movies or whatever, but I also think it’s counterproductive to do the opposite.

  33. riotgrrl
    July 22, 2008 at 7:22 pm

    It has been published that is was in fact verbal. I don’t know exactly what went on but something does seem fishy so I will withhold judgment until there is more light on the situation. It is rumored that his mother and sister are somewhat estranged from him so I don’t know what the context of the verbal assault was. Based on my own experience I have had some verbal exchanges between myself and my estranged parents who are psycho so time will tell with this.

  34. July 22, 2008 at 7:28 pm

    It has been published that is was in fact verbal.

    OK, someone really needs to come up with a source that is NOT TMZ or merely quoting TMZ about him being charged with verbal assault, because I can’t find any. And even TMZ is now saying that the incident was physical in some way.

    Anyway, whether or not this was verbal assault is moot in terms of what I’m addressing. The attitudes towards Bale’s mother and sister that I cited in my post are fucked up no matter what the charge.

  35. exholt
    July 22, 2008 at 8:25 pm

    To me, this is just another story in a long litany of stories about allegations of egregiously conduct and/or crimes by famous celebrities.

    Am not a fan as the only movie I’ve seen Christian Bale in was “Empire of the Sun” several years back. Don’t really have an opinion either way beyond a disgust about the assumptions made by his mother and sister.

    I’m not saying I think he’s violent, I don’t know, but if you surround yourself in violence by being in these kind of hollywood movies, even just watching them, then you’re more likely to be violent toward others.

    In addition to what Jack and Ismone said, this is also an oversimplistic way of looking at the complex dynamics about how human beings respond to violence in the media. I have yet to see one unbiased rigorous scientific methodologically sound study which definitively proves this.

    By that logic, 75% of my high school’s graduating class should be in federal prison by now for violent crimes considering the amount of time spent watching violent action movies/TV as kids and playing violent computer games such as Wolfenstein 3d, Doom/Doom2, street fighter, mortal combat, and more that were played during our high school and for some, college years. Last I checked, we are all socially well-adjusted law-abiding citizens.

  36. torgana
    July 22, 2008 at 8:38 pm

    Come on, people, remember Newsies? That was probably the most inane movie he’s ever been in.

    That said, how he acts in a movie or in interviews doesn’t mean anything about him as a person. I don’t really know anything about this, so I don’t want to pass judgment, but it seems that people shouldn’t judge a person by his public persona, and that doesn’t just apply those who act . . .

  37. SarahMC
    July 22, 2008 at 8:42 pm

    Who do you think you are, Jill? The Feministe Big Daddy State? Get some diggity, you scared little bitches!

  38. Bloix
    July 22, 2008 at 9:36 pm

    The Daily Telegraph of London reports that the allegation is that he “pushed” a family member. So it’s not an allegation of verbal assault. Not clear whether anyone is said to have been hurt.

  39. July 22, 2008 at 10:02 pm

    That’s part of the character–he is playing Bruce Wayne playing Batman.

    In the animated series, the creators interpreted it as Batman donning a Bruce mask, not the other way around. That’s how I look at it too I guess, so Bale Batman seems goofy to me.

    Yeah, I am a complete Batman fan comics, tv, movies… I’m a major consumer and when I first heard Bale’s “Batman Voice” in Batman Begins I immediately had a WTF moment. Even in these movies Bruce Wayne is playing the role of the billionaire playboy whereas his masked persona shows more of his true personality, it’s always been that way. So the voice… it’s weird… and bad… and so very weird.

    In addition to what Jack and Ismone said, this is also an oversimplistic way of looking at the complex dynamics about how human beings respond to violence in the media. I have yet to see one unbiased rigorous scientific methodologically sound study which definitively proves this.

    Yet it is still wins “the popular vote” when it comes to nightly news theories.

    Jack, I think the stories just read like there was no physical action taken because they only say assault. Assault is only a verbal threat and if he had taken physical action it should have been written as assault and battery.

  40. Manju
    July 22, 2008 at 10:44 pm

    Robin would’ve never done this.

  41. Mnemosyne
    July 22, 2008 at 10:44 pm

    Considering the crap that famous people usually get away with, I’m glad to see that Scotland Yard took the allegations seriously enough to arrest him. It may turn out to be nothing; it may turn out that there are underlying circumstances (like active alcoholism/drug abuse); or he may be an abusive fuck. There’s really no way to know until he’s at least officially charged.

  42. Mnemosyne
    July 22, 2008 at 10:47 pm

    UHHH, I don’t think he’s one of the “good guy” actors. He always plays dark, moody characters and anyone that would play his character in American Psycho has gotta be messed up.

    By that standard, Vincent Price and Boris Karloff should have been out dining on babies every night, and yet their friends and colleagues still tell stories about how nice they were.

    You really need to stop taking the things you see in movies so seriously. Someone who plays light comic roles is just as likely to be an abuser as someone who plays dark, sinister roles.

  43. timothynakayama
    July 22, 2008 at 11:04 pm

    I’m not saying I think he’s violent, I don’t know, but if you surround yourself in violence by being in these kind of hollywood movies, even just watching them, then you’re more likely to be violent toward others.

    I pity those who act as the monsters in Horror movies, then. I guess whoever played Freddy Kruger must have spent endless hours thinking about the many people he “killed” onscreen.

    Seriously what part did he ever play that gave anyone warm feelings about him? I’m baffled.

    I’m baffled as to why warm feelings is a pre-requisite for enjoying the work of an actor.

  44. Katy
    July 22, 2008 at 11:38 pm

    I did say “more likely”. I didn’t mean that they are necessarily violent, just that the more you tolerate, and normalize, even if it’s just “pretend”, it may be easier for you to overlook something like verbal abuse, which IS violence. Maybe you get so into the preparation for a role, that it becomes part of you.

    I didn’t mean that I equate actors with their parts, but I think there’s a reason they pick it and relate to it, so I think it’s more of a spiritual thing for me, like what is the story that your life of acting is telling? Anyway, I’m a weirdo.

    And to the 75% that aren’t in prison for violent crimes, just because they aren’t locked up, doesn’t mean they haven’t been violent or have a capacity for violence. (like most people I know, at some point in their life)
    I know that you might not believe me, but the more of something you consume, the chances of being desensitized to it go up. That doesn’t mean that everybody will commit violence, but if someone who sits and trains their brain to shoot on site (like how the military trains soldiers, that’s where these video games came from) and spent almost every night of their formative years watching somebody get killed in a movie, and watches women in those same movies get tossed around and/or used as props, or a piece of property to dispute over, and a complex number of factors cooperate, then I won’t be so sure that they could NEVER be violent. One time is all it takes to do some damage. Or if it’s that covert assassin of verbal/emotional abuse that sneaks up and breaks your heart and mind again and again, I’D SAY that all that shit might have had a part in it.

    I see it day in and day out with the people in my life, not just my kids getting aggressive after watching Narnia, but my adult family members in their moods and ways of dealing with stress that sometimes reflects what kinds of things they’ve been consuming. I’ve noticed the difference it makes in people’s lives when they limit the violence and gluttony of American culture, so don’t tell me that our media isn’t as powerful as I know it is.

    I’m sorry if I upset anyone, I wasn’t really clear in my post about what I meant. I’ve always disliked him in what I’ve seen him in, and it just struck a nerve with me, and made me have a “I knew there was something off about that man/woman” moment. I now have my tail between my legs and feel bad for being so mean. (I’m imagining him as the boy in Empire of the Sun and his lip is pouting out at me.)

    I’m sure he’s great in some movies I haven’t seen him in, and I realize that he is NOT the American Psycho or any other characters he’s played.

    But I still think he’s not worthy of Batman, sorry.

  45. exholt
    July 23, 2008 at 12:51 am

    I know that you might not believe me, but the more of something you consume, the chances of being desensitized to it go up.

    You’re right about my skepticism as that is the common trope of many US right-wing culture warriors and the more censorious elements of the American left in an attempt to not only control the media viewing habits of children/adolescents….but also effectively the adult public.

    However well-intentioned, I see much danger in allowing governments and politicians to decide what video games we’re allowed to play, what television programs we’re allowed to watch, and by logical extension….what books and information sources we’re allowed to access. We already have too many idiots on various local public school boards and town/state governments deciding certain authors such as J.D. Salinger, Toni Morrison, and more are considered “too dangerous” for the eyes of the delicate darling precious children.

    Especially when this trope has yet to be definitively proven by any unbiased scientific methodologically rigorous study. All that seems to be out there so far are half-baked agenda-driven studies that are farcical in their reasoning and methods and a lot of ideologically motivated opinions.

    I did say “more likely”. I didn’t mean that they are necessarily violent, just that the more you tolerate, and normalize, even if it’s just “pretend”, it may be easier for you to overlook something like verbal abuse, which IS violence.

    Though your point may apply to some people, but not to everyone who has experienced or been exposed to violence in everyday life. I’ve met many war veterans from WWII to Vietnam who became more sensitized to violence because of their experiences…along with older relatives who witnessed/experienced brutalization at the hands of Imperial Japanese soldiers and/or Maoist security officials/Red Guards during the Second Sino-Japanese War/WWII and the Cultural Revolution respectively.

    On the other hand, I have encountered some self-proclaimed “progressives” raised by peace-loving parents in socio-economically privileged, yet isolated hippie communes away from MSM influences who do advocate violent bloody revolutions to bring about their “ideal society”, no matter how many innocent people/bystanders are killed in the process. They were some of the most creepy people I’ve ever met in my life….and acted little differently from your average GOP chickenhawk.

    As I mentioned in my previous comment, the correlation you are making here is far too simplistic to account for the complexity of how individuals react to violence. Not everyone reacts to violence…or any other traumatic experiences in the exact same ways as one may think.

    Regarding Bale’s worthiness as Batman….never seen him in either of those movies. And unless I can borrow the DVD off of someone/library for free….doubt I would care enough to bother….

  46. July 23, 2008 at 2:43 am

    Everybody fights, it’s normal. Happens in most families. If you get insulted or smacked, you insult or smack right back, and don’t go running to Big Daddy State like some scared little b****. Lose the counterproductive victim mentality, and get some fucking diggity!

    Okay, feel free to cut this comment if it’s a derail, but… WHAT?

    I can only hope that this is just trying to get attention, and not an actual representation of beliefs. Most families do not, by any means, hit each other. It is NOT OKAY for anyone in your family to hit you.

    I don’t want to fuel troll fire, but this comment just sounded so much like some of the things batterers I worked with used to say. Most of them were abused, and saw their fathers abuse their mothers, so they assumed this happened in every family. In a way, I think that the only thing that kept these guys functioning and not curled up in the fetal position was their total lack of information about families that interact with respect and love. They just had no idea what they could have had. If they knew, they’d cry for weeks.

    Thinking about that made me sad for diggity dude, even if he is a troll.

  47. July 23, 2008 at 10:21 am

    I did say “more likely”. I didn’t mean that they are necessarily violent, just that the more you tolerate, and normalize, even if it’s just “pretend”, it may be easier for you to overlook something like verbal abuse, which IS violence. Maybe you get so into the preparation for a role, that it becomes part of you.

    Have you ever acted?

    Because different people relate differently to their roles.

  48. July 24, 2008 at 12:17 am

    Crap. I have the worst taste in Hollywood boyfriends…

  49. Ismone
    July 24, 2008 at 11:19 am

    Eh, I don’t know about that Cola, turns out he pushed his mom out of the room after she hit him up for money. Not good, but that’s the kind of assault that would be misdemeanor (in the states) at most. And it might be nothing–if someone is in your room, invited, and you ask them to leave, I think you can use physical force to make them leave if they don’t.

    Here’s the Chicago piece: http://www.suntimes.com/entertainment/zwecker/1071933,CST-FTR-zp24.article

    Since Jill is studying, she would probably have a better idea about whether you can use physical force to remove someone from your room who you initially invited.

  50. riotgrrl
    July 24, 2008 at 3:01 pm

    I think the purpose of this post was to bring attention to how women are always assumed to be the liars, guilty party (provoked the perpetrator) in assaults. However, it isn’t necessarily evident is this case. From the news (CNN and the Chicago Times) it is alleged that the 2 family members hit him up for cash after being estranged and Bale forced them out of his room. Now that they’re trying to sell the story and seeking attention of media outlets, so it does seem like they are shady. Maybe what you are trying to say, if Bale did hit his mother and sister and was abusive, the majority of people would probably support Bale.

    A better example would be the public reaction to cases like Kobe Bryant where people attacked the victim and sided with Kobe before things went to trial. And even when it’s publicly known that Sean Connery is abusive and thinks it’s ok to hit his wife, he is still put up on a pedestal. And R. Kelly is still able to put out music successfully even though he is known to have sex with minors as young as 14 when he is well over 30 and even peed in a girl’s face (allegedly; and “girl” because she was underage). He may be a joke, but people still buy his music.

  51. Ismone
    July 24, 2008 at 4:12 pm

    riotgrrl,

    What REALLY pissed me off was when Cpl. Maria Lauterbach went missing after reporting her rape, and people were saying things like “oh, her stepmom says she’s a drama queen, she must be faking” and called her a liar about the rape. I’m sure they didn’t take it back after her body was found.

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