Julian has tagged me with a meme: The five most embarrassing tracks on my iPod. His are pretty great/horrendous (I too remember feeling like a super-hardcore 7th grader for loving “NIN,” and I too went to several “DMB” concerts). But here’s the thing: I have tons of embarrassing music on my iPod, but the most embarrassing of the embarrassing comes from this dude who I’m currently hanging out with who has the worst taste in music possibly ever (he’s pretty sweet in just about every way, but looking at his iTunes makes me want to weep). So he may or may not have sent me songs not only by Hilary Duff, but also by JoJo and Jordin Sparks. Yeah. I also may or may not have put both songs on repeat and muted my computer so that it would look like I listened to both of them when I haven’t.
Anyway, I think the point of the meme is to illustrate your own crappy taste in music. And I certainly have that in spades. So here are the top 5 horrible songs that I have voluntarily added to my iPod:
1. Ashlee Simpson – I Didn’t Steal Your Boyfriend
And this isn’t the only A.Simp song I have on my list. What can I say? She’s great for the gym. And I secretly kind of love her video for Outta My Head.
2. Nick Cannon – Gigolo
I’m a little unclear as to why I ever bought this song, but apparently at some point I liked it.
3. Eve6 – Here’s to the Night
This one is embarrassing in that I-genuinely-find-it-touching vein — which is way worse, in my opinion, than just liking crappy to 40 because it’s candy.
4. Jewel – Have a Little Faith in Me
I think I must have been in The Bad Place when I downloaded this song. But it’s just so deliciously sad…
5. Jodeci – Freak’n You
Oh yeah. It was between this and “Feelin’ on Your Booty” by R.Kelly for position #5; but I think the Jodeci tune is less famously-bad, and therefore more truly-bad.
I tag: The current Feministe guest-bloggers; the ultimate Insufferable Music Snob; and Mr. Hussey.
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I wish I could, but I have no iPod. Sad. My partner has one, but I think at least half of the songs sie likes are embarrassing…
Ick. Can I just say my entire Barenaked Ladies collection, hang my head perpetually in shame and be done with it? That’s way more than five songs . . . and I think probably does encompass the five most embarrassing. Stupid teenage years. (Seriously, I have no idea why I even uploaded them to the iPod. I haven’t listened to them in years . . . but there they are.)
I guess some people would consider the fact that I have an obscenely large collection of Disney music on my computer (to sing along with, loudly, with much leaping about) pretty embarrassing. And the fact that I have Meat Loaf’s entire discography.
Personally, though, I am most embarrassed by the fact that I absolutely fucking love Gwen Stefani’s “holla back” and Avril’s “girlfriend” – preferably back to back – oh, along with “whiskey for my men (beer for my horses)” and that one other country song with the line “we’ll put a boot in yer ass, it’s the american way”.
Yeah. Those are pretty bad.
John Prine – Let’s Talk Dirty in Hawaiian
The Tiger Lillis – Banging in the Nails
Brazilian Girls – Pussy
Foxy Brown – Saddest Day
Avril Lavigne – Girlfriend
Looking at my music, I just realized I no longer have any Lords of Acid. This must be remedied immediately!
Embarrassing by US standards or in general?? As I will assume by US standards…here goes nothin’:
1. Sally Yeh/Yip – Coca Cola Theme Song (Cantonese remix)
When I saw this song used in a music video, I had to download it.
2. Village People – In The Navy
This is probably the only disco song I can stand listening to regularly after having to listen to too many disco songs in the process of burning dozens of disco mix CDs for a buddy who happens to be a bigtime disco fanatic.
3. Milli Vanilli – Blame It on the rain
Heard this track a lot in junior high/early high school….especially after questions about authenticity became public.
4. Weird Al Yankovic – The White Stuff
I love this track for the double entendres along with its parodying NKOB.
5. MC Hammer – U can’t touch this
My junior high/early high school classmates used to play/dance to this…..was one of the hottest songs of that era.
I have more than five, but here goes…
1. Fergie – Clumsy
I just loved the video. I can’t explain.
2. Billy Joel – Don’t Ask Me Why
I actually have five Billy Joel songs. Fond childhood memories.
3. Gary Glitter – Rock and Roll Part II
Just to make my glam playlist complete. I admit it is a terrible song.
4. Journey – Lovin’ Touchin’ Squeezin’
I have no excuse. Steve Perry sings in exactly my key, so when this is on the radio I can really belt.
5. Robbie Williams – Rudebox
I actually have a dozen Robbie Williams songs on my iPod, but this is the only one that really embarrasses me. I’ll defend the rest. Really.
sara no h. – you are not the only person with the entire Meatloaf selection.
I have an embarrassing love of sappy, melodramatic songs. No Ipod, but take it as read that if I did it would have selections by Lionel Richie, Journey, Whitney Houston, and Styx – much Styx.
I don’t know if I can contribute properly as my Duran Duran collection is all on tape. Barring that:
5. “Courtesy of the Red White and Blue (The Angry American),” Toby Keith.
This is only on due to the technicality of me removing it from my iTunes shuffle but failing to delete it from my hard drive. Nevertheless, I voluntarily put it on in the first place because I couldn’t believe that someone actually wrote a song that bad.
4. “Don’t Dream It’s Over,” Sixpence None the Richer
I secretly like them, even though they’re poppy and Christian. They didn’t write this one, but it’s by Crowded House, which all things considered is not much less embarrassing.
3. “Fernando,” ABBA
Among the least embarrassing ABBA songs to like, but it’s still ABBA.
2. All of the songs from Annie
My friend gave them to me. Not only is it a musical, but it’s a musical based on a comic strip with really offensive politics. That offensiveness comes through in the lyrics. I listen to it anyway because it reminds me to pull myself up by my bootstraps, etc.
1. “Freebird,” Lynyrd Skynyrd
No comment.
Runners up: “Rasputin” by Boney M, Lacrimosa’s cover of the Phantom of the Opera theme, t.A.T.u.’s cover of “How Soon Is Now,” and “Lost Together” by Blue Rodeo.
Village People—San Francisco
I’ve loved this song since it came out (yeah, fun choice of words) when I didn’t know anything about ‘em other than that they wore costumes. (It was 1978—I was 15) And it was produced by Bobby Martin of O’Jays and Harold Melvin & The Blue Notes Fame. Still…
David Soul—Don’t Give Up On Us, Baby
A disgustingly treacly bit of mid-to-late 70’s Top-40 Pop. Sung by the blander half of the “Starsky & Hutch” duo. I can’t explain it. It evokes my fun teen years and I love the melody. Help me.
Nick Gilder—Hot Child In The City
Another one from that time frame. I don’t even really like the song, but I have it to complete a playlist of WABC 77 Top 40 hits from ‘78, And yes, I do listen to it, in all of its weird power-pop/bullshit new wavey-ness. And what was with Gilder’s voice?
The Jets—You Got It All (Over Him)
I can not explain this one at all. It just is. I feel all Minneapolis foppish and S-Curly when I hear it. And for some reason, that’s NOT necessarily a bad thing.
Captain Sky—Super Sperm
If you live anyplace other than New York, Philly or Chicago, you have never heard this “song”. It is one of the original bedrock “break beats” used in cuttin’ and scratchin’ at live parties and the like. It ain’t hummable—thank God, but it was the basis for so much ass-shakin’ at so many old-school block parties that it wasn’t funny. It was a stone jam though. “Supe-errr-SPERM! Clak-clak-a-clak-clak!…”
Sir Mix-A-Lot: “Baby Got Back.” Because I like to hear it every so often.
Los Del Rios: “The Macarena.” I honestly love this.
Hanson: “MmmBop.” But I love the ten seconds of faster MmmBop from one of Weird Al Yankovic’s remix songs, and wish Hanson had done it faster.
Jack Shit: “Boney Was A Warrior.” Ridiculous, fast, bouncy sea-chantey about Napoleon Bonaparte, which I like because it’s fast and bouncy and part of it is in 6:8 time.
And last but not least, I have not one but TWO different versions of “The Good Ship Venus,” which can be best described by reminding everyone what “Venus” is usually rhymed with in limericks.
Ohh, my guilty pleasures right now are:
Britney Spears – Toxic
Katy Perry – I kissed a girl
Craig David – fill me in (I don’t like CD at all, but this song has something. I would absolutely LOVE to cover it from a bisexual perspective – as a girl hitting on a girl)
That’s all I can think of at the moment. Weirdly enough, cause there must be loads.
My little boy got an iTunes card and downloaded all this stuff from a guy called Mika – a gay Lebanese singer-songwriter. Think Queen meets Brian Wilson meets Fat boy slim meets … you get the idea. I hate male falsetto, but somehow his stuff just … works. Either that, or he’s just an earworm.
check out Happy Ending, Grace Kelly, Bobby Brown.
That’s so funny you mentioned NIN… “Closer” was on the radio just yesterday afternoon and boy did those high school memories come back.
Mine are:
1. Entire Dynasty Warriors 3 soundtrack: yes, completely bombastic and inappropriate to a game set in ancient China, but SO CATCHY.
2. “Toon Tunes,” a collection of cartoon theme songs I ordered off of TV. Which doesn’t sound so bad, except that I completely rock out to the Captain Planet theme song… when nobody else is around, of course!!
3. Bombay Dub Orchestra. It can fairly be accused of being new-agey, touchy-feely, soft, and kind of Orientalist. But it’s also one of the prettiest and most relaxing records I own, makes me feel like I’m on the beach. So from my cold, dead hands…
Rick James–Superfreak
Beasties–No Sleep Til Brooklyn
??–You Spin Me (like a record)
Buzzcocks–Orgasm Addict
Sir Mixalot–Baby Got Back
I have no comment on any of these.
Hey, speaking of guilty pleasures, I am hosting a weekly Project Runway gabfest at my place. 2nd episode thread is up now:
http://physioprof.wordpress.com
Not five, but an example: Scritti Politti’s Greatest Hits. I think that bad taste tempered by nostalgia is more forgivable; downloading whatever immediately contemporary pap that’s selling X-treme Mountain Dew Pants-Shitting Purple Drink tends to be the worst of the embarrassing, because then you’re in the same boat with tweens. I still find it difficult to people that ugly men in their 30s (Phil Collins, Huey Lewis, John Oates [Daryl Hall was beautiful, man]) were dominating the top 40 when I was 12-13.
Physio: Dead or Alive. Although I think Obsession by Animotion is worse, and The Never-Ending Story by Limahl (formerly of Kajagoogoo) should be a felony offense.
Pysio:
It’s likely Dope, Eiffel 65, or Billy Idol. Those are the three major versions I know of.
1) A very extensive collection of Cascada songs
Normally a Hip-hop head or ska kid
2) Sexy Can I – Ray J ft. Yung Berg
It’s terrible, I just really like the sound of his voice for some crazy reason
3) The entirety of Trapped in the Closet – R. Kelly
Honestly, it’s just so bad it’s good.
4) The fact that my top played song is Still Alive (from portal)
It’s great, but not good enough that that should be the case
5) We Takin’ Over (ft. Akon, Baby, Lil’ Wayne, Rick Ross, T.I.)
1. I do have a soundtrack of all the Russian television show theme songs from 2004. I would be embarrassed if a Russian person were to hear them.
2. All I Wanna Do is Make Love to You by Heart. I love Heart, but this song makes me cringe in public. In private I belt out the lyrics.
3. There are several Wiccan/ New Age Songs that I love but if caught in the shuffle, my boyfriend will run to to change rather than subject himself to the drums and chanting (“The Earth is Our Mother… We must take care of Her!!” Ahem.)
4. I Touch Myself by the Divinyls. See #2.
5. I have instrumental music in the form of old 80s Nintendo games that a person produced on their computer and then gave to me. It’s in iTunes but not on the Pod.
I have a bunch of tunes on my itunes list that I uncheck so they don’t make it on to the actual ipod:
1. Pieces of me – Ashlee Simpson
2. Ain’t nothin bout you – Brooks n Dunn
3. Wanna be startin somethin – Michael Jackson
4. This is how a heart breaks – Rob Thomas
5. I would’ve loved you anyway – Trisha Yearwood
and Jenga I know what you’re sayin about Sexy Can I, I love that guy’s voice too but the lyrics are just awful. I’m piling up alot of r&b/rap guilty pleasures mostly Akon related. I’m also driving my fiancee nuts playing Lil Wayne’s “A Milli” constantly. I’m not sure if it counts as a guilty pleasure or not, but you either love or hate that song, there’s no middle ground.
1: Bat Out of Hell -Meatloaf
2: Two versions of Total Eclipse of the Heart by Hurra Torpedo and Kiki and Herb.
3: Six hours of anime soundtrack music. Granted about 3/4th of that is Yoko Kanno but still.
4: Music from The Sims 2.
5: Two versions of “Venus”
Obviously, I have a softspot for Jim Setinman.
@Sepra: I was going to list my “Legend of the Mystical Ninja,” “Battletoads,” “Sonic the Hedgehog 2″ and “Mystic Quest” tracks, but then I decided I don’t feel guilty about those at all. It’s my childhood dammit!
Nothing wrong with Mika. I wouldn’t be embarrassed by that…
Nelly- Hot in Here
Against Me-Stop! (I love Against Me, but this song is lame)
Aha
Any song by the Awesome Snakes (same band as the Soviettes)
Billy Idol- Flesh for Fantasy and To Be a Lover. I also had one of his newer albums that was awful but it doesn’t show on itunes, so I’m safe.
Norbiz, if you scrub the vocals from Obsession, you’re left with the hottest dance jam ever produced.
@S.H. Exactly!
@MaryC: Awesome. I definitely have Sonic 1&2 on my iPod, as well as Myst. The thing is that they’re all very well composed, but just kinda crappy because it’s old midi composition…
Jodeci is awesome.
Guilty pleasures: Metal Edition!
Flight of the Bumblebee – Manowar. Rimski-Korsakov’s frenetic violin interlude played on a bass guitar by an oiled up egomaniac wearing a loin cloth. Without a sense of irony. Yeah…
Rock You Like A Hurricane – The Scorpions. I grew up in the 80s, leave me alone!
Pull Me Under – Dream Theater. If you were a music geek with long hair in high school, you know what I’m talking about.
Through Fire and Flames – DragonForce. I know they just speed up the tape in the studio, I know they can’t play it live, I know its ridiculous in ways that are hard to count. But its just sooooooo fun!
Rasputin – Turisas. A song by German disco group Boney M, covered by a ren faire metal act from Finland. You just haven’t lived until you’ve heard Euro dance beats on top of double bass drums, paired with distorted guitars, a fiddle, and an accordion. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y150Lm4kZ_M
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