Comments on: Lauren Notofchef

By: Sarah

Sarah — Sat, 02 Aug 2008 15:46:32 +0000

My husband is a sexist conservative. I’m a feminist liberal. I kept my last name. It still galls him. I get quite a thrill whenever someplace (like the vet’s office) gives us paper work addressed to Hisfirstname Mylastname.

In a previous relationship, my then-fiance wanted kids. We had come to an arrangement that when we got married, we would pick a new last name so that our new family would have the same name and both of us would have to go through the name-change. Relationship didn’t work out, but I always thought that would be a great idea for those with plans of having kids.

By: Lauren

Lauren — Sat, 02 Aug 2008 01:00:19 +0000

@Sarah no H – We all have different last names in this household, which was part of the reason it makes it all easier. We all have different first names, what’s the difference?

By: Chaz

Chaz — Fri, 01 Aug 2008 21:18:24 +0000

Being half of an academic couple my first reaction to the question is always, “why would we change our names? What about our publication records? Such a change would lead to confusing and madness.” Plus we both grew up with the odd name thing so we have a lot of pride in keeping them.

By: Travis

Travis — Fri, 01 Aug 2008 20:22:41 +0000

Oh hey, I have a question: when I was working customer service, a few (East) Indian couples came in, and the husband’s first name was her last name.

Does anybody know what that’s about? I’m having a hard time Googling or Wikipedia-ing this query.

By: Travis

Travis — Fri, 01 Aug 2008 20:20:25 +0000

It can get even crazier in a blended family (a family with step-parents/children).

When my mom Jane Copperpot married my dad John SnakeBlisken, she called herself Jane Copperpot-SnakeBlisken. But then they divorced, and she dropped SnakeBlisken (which is my last name). She then married Joe SnowFairy, but didn’t change or hyphenate her name. He had two kids, and so we became the Copperpot-SnowFairy-SnakeBlisken clan. It was even crazier because we all blended so well (a miracle I thank God for every day), that we dropped “step-” from our relationship descriptions (with the exception of my beloved step-father, out of respect for my beloved biological father).

It caused no end of trouble with schools and medical stuff and any large bureaucracy, and it made a lot of people uncomfortable (probably because they didn’t know what to call any of us). But I’m proud of the example my mom set for all of us.

By: EB

EB — Fri, 01 Aug 2008 18:19:01 +0000

My wife & I had to threaten to sue a state agency to have them recognize the fact that we have different last names. After the media picked up the story, we got hate mail. That was more than 20 years ago. I would hope that things have changed.

By: Links I Like Today « This is What a Feminist Blogs Like

Links I Like Today « This is What a Feminist Blogs Like — Fri, 01 Aug 2008 17:30:10 +0000

[...] 1, 2008 · Filed under Uncategorized · Tagged links Feministe founder Lauren writes about her encounter with another woman who kept her birth name after [...]

By: Katie

Katie — Fri, 01 Aug 2008 16:18:05 +0000

the second half of my work day is going to be oh, sooo much better after reading this. Thank you :)

By: earlgreyrooibos

earlgreyrooibos — Fri, 01 Aug 2008 14:45:27 +0000

My own little “my name! keeping it!” moment came when my vet asked my favorite vet-tech ever if my file needed to be relabeled now that I was married. She mentioned it to me and laughed, saying she told him that we don’t all change our names anymore, and it was kind of a moot point anyway since they all knew my husband as “Mr. Mylastname.”

I had a similar moment, when our research coordinator thought I was going to need new business cards after I got married. um, not so much.

It’s a moot point for us, too. Everyone refers to him as Mr. Earlgreyrooibos. Drives him a little nuts, if only because my last name is pretty odious.

By: sara no h.

sara no h. — Fri, 01 Aug 2008 14:31:04 +0000

I kept my last name too, although I’m still considering changing it – not to his last name, but to my grandfather’s, because I know it had been a concern of his that the family name would die out with his four daughters (and, you know, it did). I haven’t done it yet though, primarily because I am lazy :p

So the name thing for ourselves has been a nonissue, but we’re at a loss as to which last name the baby should have. We were considering hyphenating it, but then all three of us would have different surnames, and I’m not sure I want to tangle with all the confusion that’s bound to wreak in small-minded folk throughout the kid’s life. And I really don’t want to have kept my name just so his name can go on all our offspring … agreed with the comparison to a very bad math equation :(