Man I’m fired up today. I totally had a different sort of post for today. But, something else has distracted me to no end today.
I live in Sioux Falls. It’s the largest city in South Dakota and school just started a couple of days ago. Every year, the district puts together a “district directory” of sorts. It contains information on the services of the district, the schools, the principals, calendars and all that useful stuff.
It also has some advertisements included. This year, it includes a full page color ad from a crisis pregnancy in town. It includes quotes like “No one ever told me I would live with this decision for the rest of my life. It’s been several year, but my grief continues.” And, front and center in large red print: “Abortion Hurts Women!”
I was appalled to see this strong of a political message coming out of a school district publication that is give to every household who has a child in the district.
There is no way Planned Parenthood would be allowed to purchase ad space saying “Let’s prevent abortion through comprehensive sex education and birth control.” We’d be crucified.
Thanks for listening to me blow off steam. I feel much better now.
My county is similar – they publish a “Teen Crisis Directory,” which lists mostly the numbers to local suicide hotlines and such, but also lists the number of the local Birthright under “pregnancy support group.” No other pregnancy resources are listed – Does anyone think I’d be justified in calling to complain about it?
“No one ever told me I would have to live with this decision for the rest of my life. I feel so guilty that I hate and resent my child so much sometimes for the way that having him prevented me from achieving my dreams.”
“No one ever told me I would have to live with this decision for the rest of my life. I see other people’s babies and I want to cry, wondering where my baby is and who is raising her right now.”
“No one ever told me I would have to live with this decision for the rest of my life. It hurts to sit and I can’t have sex without pain because of the severe tearing I suffered during labor… five years ago. I love my little girl… but when does the pain stop?”
Abortion might, occasionally, hurt women. Giving children up for adoption *definitely* hurts women, particularly when they feel coerced into it. Bearing a child *physically* hurts women. Raising a child can hurt women.
How about “No one told me that my decision not to use birth control, because I was given an abstinence-based sex education and I was afraid birth control would make me look like a dirty slut, would give me choices that would haunt me for the rest of my life. As soon as I got pregnant I knew there was nothing I could do that wouldn’t end up hurting me in some way.” LACK OF GOOD INFORMATION ABOUT BIRTH CONTROL HURTS WOMEN.
I’d like to see *that* ad.
Outrageous. Is there a way to put together a campaign of citizen complaints? (I know you’ve got bigger fish to fry at the moment, so of course understand if it’s just not worth the hassle, but I imagine you can’t be the only one who’s pissed and think some people might be willing to raise their voices or at least write letters if asked.)
I took a little break from “campaign” work to get our base educated on this piece. I’m so thrilled by the number of people who spread the word about this today and as a result called the district and school board members.
Great news!
Katie, to answer your question, yes, you definitely should call whoever makes that teen pregnancy pamphlet. It’s possible that they don’t know that it’s a crisis pregnancy center they’re telling teens to go to. CPCs are in the business of pretending to be legitimate reproductive health centers before pushing their propaganda on young women. They probably do know exactly what they’re doing, but when you call, give them the benefit of the doubt.
As for this anti-choice message, I think the whole “Abortion Hurts Women” mantra goes further than being anti-choice. This blanket statement is what hurts women. It’s just as sexist as “Black people love fried chicken” is racist. Anti-choicers treat every woman the same and believe that the experience of one woman must be the same for all women and that it wouldn’t make a difference if a law was put into place to take the choice away from them completely. After all, if all women knew that abortion would hurt them, then they wouldn’t have abortions, and then abortion wouldn’t be needed, and if abortion isn’t needed, then it doesn’t really matter if it’s made illegal, so it might as well be. That’s their reasoning. But pregnancy issues are so varied between women (and between pregnancies for the same woman) that it is absolutely impossible to enforce pregnancy-related legislation that works for all women. Imagine that. Legislating how the human body works is impossible.
I hope these folks get their butts kicked, again, in November. (That’s when that referendum is, right?)
If that showed up on material from my daughter’s school….well, I’d be yanking every string I had to every connection I know in town. Good God.
OT – Since you are in Sioux Falls, I wonder if you could let me know how much awareness there is there of the trouble that My Sister Friends’ House is in. Are issues like this seen as community issues, or, because of the marginalization of domestic violence victims and Native Americans, is this not well covered?
OnT – I would be pretty pissed off as well. Maybe PP or another local women’s health clinic could send out supplemental mailers to combat this, if the money is there? I’d be willing to donate some cash to fund something like that.
“No one ever told me I would have to live with this decision for the rest of my life. It hurts to sit and I can’t have sex without pain because of the severe tearing I suffered during labor… five years ago. I love my little girl… but when does the pain stop?”
Wait…can one really still hurt that long after delivery? Yikes!
“No one ever told me I would have to live with this decision for the rest of my life. It hurts to sit and I can’t have sex without pain because of the severe tearing I suffered during labor… five years ago. I love my little girl… but when does the pain stop?”
Wait…can one really still hurt that long after delivery? Yikes!
Well, I didn’t have tearing; my doctors think I bruised my tailbone or something. And it’s 2 years, now. It’s painful to sit and my favorite sex positions hurt unless I’m *very* aroused, and my doctor told me that 5 years might be a reasonable length of time before it heals on its own.
A neighbor of mine when I was growing up was apparently damaged so badly that she couldn’t have sex for 20 years. Of course she was my grandmother’s age, so it’s quite possible that whatever happened to her could have been solved with today’s medical technology… but yes, you have nerves down there. You can damage yourself *permanently* by vaginal birth. And a c-section, being that it’s major surgery, can actually be worse, though the damage it does is to a different part of the body.
“No one ever told me I’d live with this decision for the rest of my life” – and I’m an idiot, so I couldn’t figure that out on my own!
It’s the usual infantilisation – the logical conclusion is that women shouldn’t be allowed to ever make any important decisions in case they regret them and then feel bad. Yes if you decide to have an abortion you have to ‘live with that decision for the rest of your life’, in the sense that you can’t go back in time and change it. But the same goes for every other decision we make in life. I’ve never had an abortion, but there are plenty of things I’ve done and decisions I’ve made that I’d do differently with hindsight. But that doesn’t mean I should never have been allowed any control over my life. Part of being human is that we make mistakes. Not that choosing an abortion is necessarily a mistake, of course, in many cases it’s the best thing to do, and is not regretted.
Oh and yes, giving birth can definitely leave you with pain and other problems for years afterwards. Don’t mean to scare anyone, because of course serious complications are rare, but it is one of the risks we take when deciding to have a baby.
@Alara Rogers
Bravo! Well said.
Alara Rogers, I had no idea. I really hope it doesn’t take 5 years for you to heal, ouch! Makes me want to never. have. kids. ever.
This story has caught the attention of the media in Sioux Falls. I’ve included some links if you’re at all interested.
http://www.ksfy.com/news/27210819.html
http://www.keloland.com/News/NewsDetail6371.cfm?Id=0,73115
http://www.argusleader.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20080821/UPDATES/80821032
@Go Amie:
There has been some press coverage, but it seems like their previous embezzlement issues got a lot more attention — which I think it pretty standard with any non-profit, unfortunately. People messing up makes better news than people trying to do good.
@Kelsey – thanks. It’s a shame, especially since (as far as I can tell) the embezzler is gone. What a hurtful legacy to leave.