Thank you for your eloquent post.

Your argument seems to be centered on the use of a woman’s reproductive organs as a means of income. Unless I am mistaken, you also believe that, as a source of income, the use of said reproductive organs would be anathema to you.

I understand that part of your argument. What I do not understand is your total rejection of the whole human experience. Do you suggest that we have been reduced, (as a species), down to our reproductive bits?

May I please point out that on numerous occasions Cecillia Bartoli’s voice has been called her “instrument”. Is not a great sculptor using his hands using his/her “instrument”? Other than your personal moral objections, what argument can you make about a sex worker? OK, let me clarify, a sex worker who is in the field voluntarily. She/ he are simply using their “instrument” to bring joy and experience to others.

What right/privilege do you invoke to judge?

Oh, and you’d lose that bet.

Thank you for presuming to tell me how I REALLY feaal about my life, job and such. I am sure you sleep well at night knowing you are a far more versed authority on my life and feelings than I am. It must be nice to be universally right and all knowing!

Being offended by a word? The semantics of a single word worthy of a lengthy rant and knee jerk defense seem to get sidetracked with a only a word….
“Selling” as opposed to renting your Vagina. Argue and debate over a word, but I see the main greater profound issue here as however you call what Sex Workers do, it’s profoundly demeaning, degrading, objectifying, humiliating, desecrating the body of the women, her humanity. “Selling Access to…. or Renting it out, matters not how you call it, but the effect on the psyche that’s more important in the bigger picture. You insist it’s not selling yourself, because using the Word Selling is in of itself demeaning??? Huh? How does renting your vagina elevate or change anything different in a positive act to anything but “Demeaning” Degrading, Misogynist, and Objectifying. Men think of you as a sex object, they don’t think of her as human as it changes the excitement turn-on, They want to do to you what gets them of without consequences, and thinking of your humanity deflates the thrill. It is exactly what allowing men to abuse your body only as an efficient means to wack off without regards to your humanity, soul, feelings, total person, no courting, no tenderness, no thoughtful caring of your “human spirit” No concern of your welfare, or happiness in creating emotional connection with mutual pleasure. Sex workers renting their vaginas are just there as an inanimate object as a dog requires a fire hydrant to take an emergency piss on for its own selfish needs. NO matter how much dignity you try to profess, defend to sell in renting out your inner most body to be used and paid, does not feel emotionally connecting, psychological, or physically wonderful, on the contrary the analogy is like allowing yourself to be defecated on, and at what price are you willing to offer that commodity? Selling, verses Renting your vagina REMAINS a desecration of a women’s humanity. If this was such a wonderful spiritual experience why charge for it? The high compensation justifies it in your mind. If you were to earn the exact same for traditional work, I’d bet my money you’d choose not to rent out your vagina to men who use it not as an expression of love and caring. Does this renting out vagina work elevate a women’s Self Esteem, Purposefulness, and Self Worth, I already know the answer.

Oh, and men wanting sex with prostitutes that no normal woman would want? Can you hear yourself?? Talk about projecting patriarchal ideas. I can’t convince my partner to do any of those “degrading” thing to me, and I really want him to. One of the things I regret most about being monogamous is I’m never going to get the opportunity to fuck 5 guys at once. But I guess the patriarchy and my fucked up upbringing made me that way, where as everyone who wants nothing but vanilla sex is a veritable angel.

Yeah, that. Whatever the sex act or fantasy, someone out there of any gender wants it.

Some of us are not convinced that sex is a service that should be rendered on demand to anyone willing to pay a certain lump sum of cash.

Then it’s a good thing those of you aren’t sex workers, isn’t it?

Care to explain why YOUR perspective on what sex should be should be made the default?

Jesurgislac:

Fixed that for you. “Intimacy” is not the right description. Sex does involve intimacy – but so does a pelvic examination or colonic irrigation or even a facial or pedicure/manicure. In fact, a hairdresser or a dentist gets quite intimate – in a way that, in a different situation, could be sexually intimate. I don’t expect a doctor/nurse/dentist or a beautician to get pleasure out of doing these things to me (and if they do, I would certainly rather not know about it), and I don’t get sexual pleasure out of having my hair done or my teeth examined or having a pelvic exam.

You changed the quote in question to say “mutual pleasure”, not “mutual sexual pleasure”. There are a great many reasons one may find an interaction pleasurable, including finding it financially rewarding. I have some clients whose sessions genuinely arouse and entertain me. I have others I enjoy spending time with because they make me laugh even if the activities we engage in aren’t so fun. And, yes, I have some that are enjoyable and rewarding because I know I’m being well compensated for my time.

And can I just add how awesome it is to see the number of sex workers piping up on this thread?

For some of us, it’s true too. And I don’t speak about orgasms but rather sincere pleasure of being with a client. Some client interactions can elicit genuine orgasms form the provider, some can have genuine intimacy, and some can have both.

Some escorts/sensual masseuses see some of their work as an opportunity for connection too – and then sometimes, you really click with a client. But that requires that three factors are in place simultaneously: that the sex worker is very positive about what she does and open to intimacy, that the client is seeking intimacy, and the mysterious “click” happens.

I would not even try to estimate what percentage of total escort encounters tends to have this dynamics. If you believe reviews, many – but I also know that often enough, it is an act or at least, an exaggeration on the part of the provider. But I also strongly believe that any escort who isn’t jaded and cynical, and who enjoys her work, would have at least occasionally experienced intimacy with clients.

So yeah: I do have a very strong idea that when people have sex, it should be with the intent of mutual pleasure, not with the intent that person A shall give sexual pleasure to person B, because B has paid A so that A shall provide it without B having to consider A’s own sexual needs/pleasure in any way.

Your ideas about telling people how they should have consensual, or even contractual sex are wrong, and dangerous.

If I want to get someone off without them worrying about me, neither I, nor they are hurting anyone, or ourselves. Your imagination does not make it so. I get to choose what hurts me *not you*.

Get it?

Faith at F.N. “Sex is the most physically intimate exchange two or more people can engage in.” I don’t really get why this makes sex different. Maybe sex is the most physically intimate thing you can do with someone else (I’m not sure and would have to think about this), but people can have sex and know almost nothing about each other and have little emotional connection. To me, actually caring about someone seems more intimate than sexual contact.

The other thing that seems absolutely taboo to mention is that sex workers and especially those who have sex with clients could be getting off on at least some of their paid interactions.