Comments on: Feminism, Race, and Sexist Dating Guides

By: POLL: Do Black Women Need To Be Re-Educated? | Alphanista™

POLL: Do Black Women Need To Be Re-Educated? | Alphanista™ — Mon, 06 Jul 2009 15:04:16 +0000

[...] was clicking through one of my new favorite blogs Feministe, because though I don’t consider myself one, it gets the oil in my engine going because we [...]

By: AMM

AMM — Thu, 04 Sep 2008 15:54:13 +0000

I’m probably betraying my utter cluelessness, but when I read the original article, I didn’t catch that the author of the dating guide was African-American. I was picturing sort of a better-dressed Michael Moore signing books in a community college classroom. I totally missed out on the racial aspect. (I don’t recall seeing a book cover — maybe it wasn’t in the post, or maybe the image was blocked by my company’s Network Nanny-ish firewall.)

Anyway, now that I know about it, it does give a much different character to the Washington Post article. Since the Post is written for and from the perspective of the White Male Power Structure, if they had chosen a white male author, we might have thought they were actually making fun of dating guides. That they went to the trouble of seeking out an author from a group that their audience so routinely marginalizes and ignores turns the message into “look at the silly ideas those natives have.” (I.e., they’re not like us.)

By: aw fisticuffer

aw fisticuffer — Thu, 04 Sep 2008 11:24:23 +0000

Ahaha, nailed it!

By: denelian

denelian — Thu, 04 Sep 2008 00:57:21 +0000

i probably know a dozen girls who are currently in abusive relationships.

not ONE of those girls is black. every single one is white.

yeah, its only anecdote. but it seems fairly representative, at least n Columbus Ohio.

i blame Jerry Springer and Maury Povovich(sp?) for the way white people – who don’t know black people – see black people

By: Fatemeh

Fatemeh — Thu, 04 Sep 2008 00:05:09 +0000

I know I already said this on Racialicious, but great job!

“(The “white” that goes before “woman” is silent.)” This is my favorite line! :D

By: Entomologista

Entomologista — Wed, 03 Sep 2008 22:42:09 +0000

I enjoyed this post. When I buy sci-fi books on Amazon, their clever software thinks I am an Asian man who wants to date white women and suggests reading material accordingly.

By: Jay Smooth

Jay Smooth — Wed, 03 Sep 2008 22:08:45 +0000

Great post.. although you left out one of the true pioneers of this genre, Sharazad Ali :)

By: Kai

Kai — Wed, 03 Sep 2008 21:51:47 +0000

Wow, Latoya, you’ve read over 100 dating guides?! Jesus, I’m continually amazed by the sheer volume of words you ingest and produce! You’re like Ms. No-Sleep Speed-Reader Super-Writer! A machine! Anyway, excellent post, like every single post you’ve put up here. Always enjoy reading your thoughts. Looking forward to the analysis of all those guides to dating Asians! Hahaha yeah right; that excerpt is priceless (we’re really quite predictable!). Cheers. ;-)

By: Ali

Ali — Wed, 03 Sep 2008 21:43:50 +0000

@Farhat,
WTF? You did not just seriously come into a feminist space and say that women trick men into marriage, did you?

By: jessilikewhoa

jessilikewhoa — Wed, 03 Sep 2008 21:33:18 +0000

guh. shit like this is why i can’t read feministing anymore. for the most part i enjoy their bloggers, but the comments seem to be mostly coming from people very new to feminism who dont much grasp that opressions intersect and that its not ok to lump whole groups of people together.

as to anecdote, the majority of the black women ive known have always been far less likely to put up with bullshit than the white girls. i imagine that having to deal with multiple opressions on a daily basis builds strength.

AND (i can’t shut up now that i got going) if black women were so likely to heed this advice and put up with male bullshit, why the fuck would dude have even had to write the book?

if the republicans can declare war on terror (a concept) can we declare war on stupid?