I am not a big reader of celebrity news. I find most of it to be trite nonsense meant to function as junk food for the brain. Living in the 24 hour media world though, I have been unable to avoid having it unwillingly foist upon me. Usually I read the glaring headline and move on to something more relevant to the issues that are dear to me.
In the flashing of headlines I learned that Lindsay Lohan is dating Samantha Ronson. No big deal, two women dating time to move on. Even with my limited attention to celebrity news what I cannot help but notice is that every time there is a story about these two women invariably in the title or somewhere in the body of the article the reporter makes sure to mention that these women are lesbians, and that they are dating.
Lesbian, Lesbian, Lesbian…the media wants to be sure that we are aware of this fact as though it is any of our business who Lohan gets to double click her mouse. I find this trend to constantly make her sexuality an issue disturbing. There is never this sort of hysterical declaration of straight celebrities. You will not find a single article with a picture of a straight celebrity screaming in a declaratory tone, heterosexual, heterosexual, heterosexual.
Straight women apparently are just doing what is “normal” and “natural” and therefore there is no need to announce (other than when they are being “slutty”) that they are in engaged in an intimate relationship with someone. We are meant to be shocked that Lohan and Ronson are fucking, and that they are happy about it. Is happiness without a dick even possible in a world where we are reared to worship the phallus as the ultimate giver of pleasure?
When we think of sex and female orgasms, it is always constructed as something men give to women, or what I have termed the Passive pussy complex. (note link contains graphic images) Can we even call what these two women do in the dark sex? If sex is understood as a man inserting his penis into a vagina, thus bestowing on an extremely lucky woman an orgasm, then no we cannot define what these two women do as sex in our heterosexist understanding, and this is our failing.
The hetero/homo binary informs much of the media’s treatment of Lohan and Ronson. Heterosexuality must never declare itself, whereas homosexuality must always declare itself, thus announcing difference to the world. Heterosexuality is dependent on homosexuality to be understood as normal and thus socially we constantly discipline bodies that are GBLT. It is done for the sake of affirmation that yes indeed, you are sharing your lust and genitalia in the right and normal way.
Patriarchy also plays a huge role in the ways in which Lohan and Ronson are treated. Women’s bodies are socially constructed to constantly be consumed by men. For these two women to reject the great dick and find love with each other, is an affront to the idea that a man is a necessity in the life of a woman. Patriarchy depends in part on projecting and promoting the idea that fulfillment for a woman is simply not possible unless there is a man actively engaged in her life. For generations one of the worst insults that could be hurled at a woman was the label of old maid. To this day there is a panic in the black community because of the supposed lack of eligible black men, for black women to marry. Dear God the black women are living without a dick to submit to, how will we survive as a people?
We seriously need to move beyond the point where two women fucking is headline news. With all of the shit going on in this world, our obsession with other peoples sex lives is ridiculous. What Lohan and Ronson do is none of our concern, and they certainly should be able to exist in peace and happiness without the media playing spot the lesbian every time they dare to enter the public sphere.
Cross posted from womanist musings
Samantha Ronson was recently in Australia (in her capacity as a highly paid DJ) and all the mainstream press articles I saw about her just mentioned that she was dating Lindsay Lohan, or was “not bringing girlfriend Lindsay Lohan to Australia”, and that was it. Pretty much the same treatment as a minor male celeb with a famous girlfriend, as far as I could see. We must be reading different sites…
Wow, could that article you linked to be any more dismissive of gayness?
The first fucking sentence: “Lindsay Lohan wants to raise a child with gal pal Samantha Ronson, according to a new report.” Umm, I think if you’re considering raising a child with someone, we’re probably past the point where it’s appropriate to refer to them as a “gal pal.” How about “girlfriend” or “partner”?
Another angle about conservative thought on homosexuality: my dad and I were recently having a conversation about t3h gayz (he thinks it is, and I quote, “an abomination in the eyes of god”). He said homosexuality is hurtful because gay people co-opt straight people into being gay. His example was Lindsay Lohan. I always thought that fear of gay conversion shit was just for the really loony fundamentalists, but apparently not. Conservatives are apparently quite afraid of the hypnotic powers of same-sex attraction. Because that would mean that a woman could convince another woman to stop being subject to men! And what if a dude made another dude into a homo?!
He said homosexuality is hurtful because gay people co-opt straight people into being gay. His example was Lindsay Lohan.
Has Lohan been linked with anyone male in the past? (All I ever remember reading about her focused on her boozing and drugging.)
If Ronson is her first serious relationship, then she hasn’t actually “changed” anything.
She didn’t switch, she came out.
She might be – shock! – bi… but again, it’s none of our business.
I’m rather unaware of the doings of celebrities… but I first heard about those two going out what? Months ago? And they’re having a relationship that doesn’t seem to be entirely dysfunctional – how rare are those things in Hollywood?
Maybe they’re a useful antidote to the mild homophobia disguised as lesbian erotica that is Katy Perry (is that her name?)
Of course, it would be nice if minority groups weren’t judged by their celebrity members… but, y’know.
I don’t think Lindsay or Samantha has stated that they’re in a relationship, and it’s basically all hear-say and assumptions. Until one of them says it, then we don’t know what the fuck their relationship is and it’s really none of our business.
I have to agree with Cree. As far as I know, the relationship is still speculation. I certainly don’t want to downplay two women dating, but I also don’t want to assume things about other people’s personal lives. I also don’t want to assume “lesbian”- people can be things besides gay or straight (and even people who have same-sex relationships can still id as straight.) To be honest, I have no idea if she has dated men in the past, except I thought there was some boyfriend stealing between her and Paris? Maybe that was the Olsen Twins? Hmmm.
That said, with the exception of that, I do love the rest of the column. Passive pussy complex is a fantastic description.
I don’t often follow celebrity news, but I have a soft spot for Lindsay Lohan, in part because she can really act (I watched the Freaky Friday remake with my niece, having loved the Jodie Foster original, and I was impressed, and I saw Mean Girls and liked it). Lohan has a problem family and has struggled with substance abuse, in the fishbowl environment where young female celebrities are stalked by vultures rooting for disaster. I really root for her. I hope she’s happy, I hope she’s stable and sober and gets back to working and leaves the tabloids little to report but a string of successful movies and an unremarkable, happy personal life.
When 2 adults spend 98% of their time together, leave public love notes for each other on their MySpace blogs, are dating no one else, publically kiss, hold hands, and go out together with their parents – they are a couple. What do you people want – a photo of them touching genitals?
I don’t know what happened with Lindsay Lohan. She appears to be someone who was feeling and acting pretty low. She’s now openly living a life with Ronson that includes the above and she looks happier and healthier than ever.
I tend to think that she is gay and always has been gay. Maybe it’s that Freaky Friday movie since it seems to have turned Jodie Foster gay too. Perhaps the dad mentioned above should just make sure that none of his female love interests ever play the lead because I’m pretty sure that movies can turn straight people gay.
I find it amusing that heterosexuals apparently live on the edge of being gay and at any moment one of us could give them that glance or say just the right thing so that they’d drop their orientation and go for the switch.
That is so weird because all of my life I’ve seen men and women kiss, hold hands, get married, have kids – in the movies and in reality . . . yet never once have I been tempted to jump off the homo ledge to the other side.
It must be hard being a hetero.
Kisses,
One Lesbo
wwww.2lesbosgoinatit.wordpress.com
I agree with your points about heterosexuality and women, but as a middle aged lesbian who remembers the closet all too well, I’m thrilled that the issue of Lohan’s lesbianism is public fodder. She’s young enough to be my daughter, so I can’t say she’s a role model; but at the same time, she is, just by being out.
Dear God the black women are living without a dick to submit to, how will we survive as a people?
Renee, you kill me!! :D
This is why I love your blog. Great post.
Ditto to One Lesbo. I really like that Linds and Sam are so open about their love for each other and don’t feel the need to hold a press conference to announce their relationship. It just is what it is.
Also, I never made the Freaky Friday/Lesbian connection before! When I was 7 years old, my parents took me to see Rocky, but I was bored and kept sneaking out of the theater to duck into the one playing Freaky Friday with Jodie Foster.
Unfortunately, this did not make me a lesbian. I guess you actually have to star in a Freaky Friday movie to guarantee that result. Still, I think it was a noble try on my part.
Cree and JenLovesPonies – just like One Lesbo said, just visit their MySpace pages (…I was bored…I had time to kill…umm, umm, yeah, time to kill o_O ) and it’s quite obvious. And Lohan did respond back when the LAPD chief made that “gone gay” comment about her, pretty much telling him to mind his own business.
They are a very cute couple. Besides, it’s great to have more publicly out (or implied) LGBTQ celebrities, particularly younger ones. Although Lohan has had her problems, she does seem healthier and more at peace.
Like Lauren O, I’m also pissed off about the “gal pal” label. It’s completely unnecessary. Why don’t they just say “Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson were at so and so spot”? Oh, right, I forget.
Hey, its important to understand that gays can and do co-opt heterosexuals on a regular basis. This is not a theory or some ignorant prejudice, but a very important scientific fact that needs to be accepted. After all, if gays can’t convince straight people into same sex relationships, then all those times straight people were with gay people might mean that the straight people actually enjoyed it or, worse still, might not be straight. That leads to all sorts of terrible places. I mean, really, if being straight or gay didn’t mean what we thought it meant then society would crumble. How would we know who to have sex with? Or who to beat up?
No, its much easier to just explain away the cracks in the dyad of human sexuality by homomagick.
Beautifully well written article, if only an article such as this could be read by the general masses like the Lesbian, Lesbian, Lesbian articles that we see everywhere these days but hey it’s not all negative in fact the majority about Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson relationship are down right nice and if the news media can accept the fact that these two lovely girls are fucking each other, then maybe someday so can the general masses accept it and if they can learn to accept then maybe someday this issue just wont be an issue and on that day your website would become a moot point that of which no one will care to ever visit again So lets hope that never happen right!?!. lol (sorry for all the errors)
Has Lohan been linked with anyone male in the past?
Yes. She was linked to Wilmer Valderama (That 70′s Show) before she started becoming superthin. Don’t remember if she was ever disparaged for that though (cause if there’s something that riles up mainstream patriarchy it’s white women with men of color)
I call bi-invisibility on this.
I don’t know how Lohan identifies. But, neither does anyone else here. I automatically assume she must be straight or lesbian, as if those are the only two categories women fall into is ridiculous.
I’m with jayinchicago. I’m a bisexual woman, and much though I love and root for my lesbian sisters out there, it gets a little annoying when the media assumes that all women who are in love with women are lesbian – are homosexual. I remember there was a nearly identical thread about Portia de Rossi a while ago on this site, and it’s kind of frustrating.
If Lindsey Lohan is gay, and has figured that out for herself – great. If she’s bisexual – great. If she doesn’t define her sexuality in terms of the gender binary – great! The fact remains that she’s publicly in a relationship with a woman and her life and perceptions of her in the media are going to alter drastically. I wish her the best.
I haven’t noticed that the media has obsessed more about Lohan than they have with hetero celeb relationships. Lindsay has had so many problems over the years, I’m happy to read that she has a stable relationship now, whether it’s “conventional” or not.
A celebrity magazine (cough cough) which I would never read (ahem) because it is pointless and trashy… said that Lindsay Lohan’s myspace listed her as bi. I’m apt to take her word for it.