And the primary one is that once it’s out there, anyone can do anything to it.
One day, you’re exchanging promise rings, and the next thing you know, you’re prosecuting your ex-fiancé for putting photos of your boobs on MySpace. The perils of modern love! Richard Morgan delves deep into what he terms “Revenge Porn,” i.e., when men distribute pornographic images of their exes without consent, on Details.com, and it ain’t pretty. The most insidious form of revenge porn includes the woman’s name, phone number, and address along with the naughty video for ultimate public humiliation. The worst part of the whole thing? Revenge porn is notoriously hard to prosecute.
Eight or nine years ago, the asshole I was seeing did this to me. It was the apex of an ultimately abusive relationship in which every item of abuse was unprosecutable. I left soon after, completely humiliated, pissed off, and helpless because there was nothing I could do about it. The nastiest part of the whole incident was that it twisted something that was done in a moment of trust into the ultimate betrayal, putting me out there in a vulnerable state without my knowledge or consent. Moreover, it was used against me for years in a way that was made to make me feel like a slut, as though I was some kind of whore instead of participating in a mutual sexual relationship with a monogamous partner. Believe it or not, I’ve had sex before.
I don’t want to get into another feminist porn war on the blog, yet I think it’s pretty safe to say that most will agree that this is Not Okay. That being said, there is a market for this, so much so that there are several free and for-pay sites that capitalize on the “revenge porn” market, wherein dudes can post pictures and movies of their ex-bitches along with “that’ll show her!” messages meant to punish the little amateur sluts. The article linked in the blockquote details some of the issues victims run into when they try to get the movies and pictures removed, and moreover, the inability to prosecute their exes.
So yeah, there may be pictures of your humble blogger doing naughty things out there on teh internets. Lesson learned: if the asshole you’re dating wants to watch you having sex together, leave the cameras out of it. Use a goddamned mirror. It’s just not worth it.
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