http://articles.moneycentral.msn.com/CollegeAndFamily/LoveAndMoney/SecretLivesOfBreadwinnerWives.aspx

Vincent’s wife found herself in that role and decided she didn’t like it and dumped him after he had made sacrifices for her. Vincent, in many respects, was the wife here and I guess what many of you feminists are saying is no man should ever be a wife, right?

I don’t know if anyone ever researched it empirically. I don’t know if any university or government body would fund such research. But if they did, I would expect that at least 70% of marriages have happened because the woman in the courtship eventually demanded it.

This is not a slander on women. As one of the above female posters pointed out, there is a lot of social/religious brainwashing and pressure on young girls that they must get married at all costs, and that they will be ruined/wasted nobodies if they don’t succeed. Many women get cheated out of their most fun, beautiful, young, and carefree years because they went with the program and pulled the trigger too early. Then one day, many years later, they wake up next to men they don’t find attractive (and perhaps never found attractive at a true chemical level) and say what have I done?

Ok if we are going to draw gender lines here, can anyone explain to me why 70% of all divorces (US) are initiated by women? Against the backdrop of a majority of marriages also demanded by women, isn’t this a little absurd?

The part about initiating divorce is well documented, but how do you know that women “demand the majority of marriages”? I’ve never seen any stas on that.

as a personal aside, i am the first person in my entire extended family to have a college degree, i went above and beyond that and got a master’s, i have a rewarding career, i support myself and live in a large, exciting city. i also have a live-in boyfriend who is awesome. we have decided not to get married and instead, we are focussing on maintaining a good, long-term relationship. i like my life quite a bit.

to my family in alabama i am a failure and a spinster. i have my priorities wrong and i will end up miserable and alone because i didn’t get pregnant with the first man who showed any interest in me and i chose an education over child-rearing.

if i had listened to their “advice” i would have married my high school sweetheart, birthed a few kids, eschewed college and been divorced and a quite possibly a single parent by now. sounds miserable to me, but if i had followed this script, i would have been doing the “right” thing by them.

I think you are racist and sexist 10G, but it should not stop you from open discussion with someone you disagree with at this site.

Calm down, man. I can’t say for sure, because I’m not privy to the intent of the proprietors of this website. I just come here because there are some excellent writers, and there’s some news I probably wouldn’t find anywhere else. But, if you want to debate the merits of the stay-at-home domestic wife, the evils of taxpayer-funded rape kits, or the sanctity of the life of a blastocyst, there’s about a billion forums on the interwebs where you can do that. I get the impression that sometimes women want to have a space they can discuss issues that are important to them, without the traditional input from concern trolls or rightwing reactionaries. I’m sure in their everyday lives, and in about 99% of cyberspace, they have to deal with the traditional shouting matches and reactionary views of billions of goons and wingnuts.

Or is that not what you were saying behind all of that superfluous crap?

Tim, the thing is, you’re claiming here that the anger of men (like Vincent) is an “effect” of women having careers. That’s certainly what Vincent claims as well. This is sexist because it seems to assume that the cause of the anger isn’t patriarchal ideas about what women and men should do/think/earn, but women’s choices themselves. Now, a lot of people hold those patriarchal ideas, so in that sense, yeah, there’s going to be a link between women having careers and some men’s anger. But to say that women’s autonomy is the direct cause of marital problems–without acknowledging that it’s bullshit patriarchal ideology that’s really the problem–is just wrong. For starters, many, MANY men seem to be able to deal with their female partners having money and power–and not through magic!