[Moving this up so you can all get your votes in. Polls will close Sunday night]
We’ve played this game before, but for the newbies, there are 10 contestant commenters, all taken from our comment moderation queue, competing to be Feministe’s Next Top Troll. You all get to vote for the winner.
Last season’s winner was the fabulous fuckyou@yourass.com. I’m not sure these commenters out-do him, but they’re sure trying hard.
Read ‘em all (below the fold, because they’re fairly offensive), and vote for your favorite — be sure to consider content, style, and general ass-baggery. Extra points may be given for inexplicable punctuation and random capitalization (or total lack thereof). We’ll narrow it down to a Top Three, and then have a final run-off. The winner will receive their own featured post on Feministe, a year’s supply of internet infamy, and a round mocking from all involved.
So, Feministas: Who will be Feministe’s Next Top Troll?
1. Pablo, who wonders why women hate him:
ROFL you man-haters crack me up! You need a man to keep you safe and want the man to be nice to the CRIMINAL trying to harm you. Think about your ex-husbands, and how you all tried to destroy him at any cost. Did you play nice with him? I think not. Get real here. These criminals are scared of Arpiao. They have the lowest repeat offenders in the country. Why don’t you lesbians move to cities that have weak sheriffs? You will find the highest crime rates in those cities where scared little women like you rarely walk the streets.
2. Mike, who lists his website as rushlimbaugh.com:
Liberal puke. Blow me, lesbo.
Hurray for Joe!!!!!!!
Death to the illegal scum!
3. Mike again, who is apparently determined to out-do himself (How do I know? I just do, that’s all):
Jill is a fat lesbian. How do I know?
I just do, that’s all.
Moderate this, ugly bitch.
4. Johnny, who already got his own post:
Glad that censorship is a big part of being allowed to comment on this website. The moderator should be ashamed for taking down my earlier comment, maybe next week this will be China and they’ll tell you feminists how many kids you can or can’t have. Real classy. I stand by the statement that this girl was whoring herself out for tuition and deserves to be punished (as does the professor). If I’m selling crack on a corner and a customer punches me, he deserves to go to jail but so do I for selling the crack.
5. NYU Law Libertarian, who is earnin’ that J.D., in response to my mentioning that our friend Johnny (above) had left several comments decrying WHORES (in all caps):
Wasn’t the girl in the story in fact a whore?
–noun
1. a woman who engages in promiscuous sexual intercourse, usually for money; prostitute; harlot; strumpet.Calling someone who isn’t a whore may be rude, but why when the person is actually a whore?
6. John Carter, who has the holiday spirit:
i think all of yall can suck my left nut,
thanks, and merry christmas!
7. Gayboy Gangsta, who I suspect is neither gay nor a gangsta:
I love sinffing women’s panties! Oh joy, I think I’m going to choumme! All women are is holes to be fucked my men with skinny dicks and love it. You serve no essential purpose other than the fragrant aroma of your underpants. You show me a femminist and I’ll show you my cock.
8. Leo, who shares the same name as my room mate’s cat, and who I kind of wish was also getting neutered on Wednesday:
I’d love to have a wife who raped me repeatedly; unfortunately, I have found that there are many more females who prefer the “alpha male” (which most assume me to be based upon my necessary work persona). Frankly, I am annoyed at how passive most females appear to be. However, what is even MORE annoying are the females who devote not a thought to what their male may need even as they berate him for not giving them what THEY need. Where are the females who are empowered yet also giving?
9. GP, who is really! excited! to share! his views! with you!
Uhmmmm, you folks might want to save the indignation about Fox News, which isn’t going anywhere, since it has more viewers than all of the rest of them combined.
The “Magic Negro” comes from an LA Times editorial written by a BLACK liberal!
http://www.latimes.com/news/opinion/la-oe-ehrenstein19mar19,0,5335087.story?coll=la-opinion-center
This article was turned into a hilarious musical parody by the multi-award winning musician, Paul Shanklin, for the Rush Limbaugh show.
The song doesn’t make fun of Barrack Obama! It makes fun of Al Sharpton and other sore losers!
Obama himself says he thinks the song is funny! And that is one of the few things he and I agree on!
And what’s with the word progressive? There is absolutely nothing progressive about a liberal. Go look at a history book. The democrat party hasn’t had an original thought since 1932!And Barrack Obama and the other “progressives” are looking at the VERY programs that FDR came up with in the 1930s that turned a bad recession, like now, into the Great Depression, and caused that disaster to last for a decade!
Using conservative principals, something we haven’t seen in a long time either, the depression could have been overcome in a year, and great prosperity would have followed.
See what happened after Ronald Reagan ran Jimmy Carter, our worst president ever, out of DC, for some reference on this!
But thanks top the same “progressive ideas” that Obama is pushing right now, it took a world war to get us out of FDR’s mess!
All I know is I can’t wait ’till 2012 so we can get a woman in office to straighten these losers in DC out!
Sarah Palin is gonna put Moose hunting on hold to go hunt some donkeys!
Governor Palin is Ronald Reagan in a skirt! And he was our finest president ever. Sarah’s gonna have one hell of a mess to clean up after this totally inexperienced fellow, Obama crashes and burns.
Thankfully she has a long and distinguished record of coming in and doing just that!
10. Tia, who is mad we insulted Paris Hilton:
fuck you guys she is right get off your high horses and stop thinking that every fucking personout there is tryin to degrade women as a whole and she is fucking right! and being the strong woman that i am! i say fuck you and GOOOOO PARIS!!!
Vote early and vote often.
Wow… how can I choose just one??
My vote goes to John Carter because it isn’t every day you run into a troll who has the common decency to both thank you for your time and spread the spirit of the holidays. His enchantingly concise post exuded thoughtfulness, making good use of imagery so there was absolutely no ambiguity regarding which testicle he was referring to. The use of the colloquial “all of yall” brought upon me a wave of nostalgia while at the same time being new and exciting through it’s odd use of “of” in the middle and rebellious disregard for apostrophes.
I like Mike and Mike again because it reads like poetry. With a little more work, these could be haikus.
I…uh…
…
“choumme”?
Lord, that was a hard decision.
mad about the alimony much?
Think about your ex-husbands, and how you all tried to destroy him at any cost. Did you play nice with him?
(i don’t capitalize, either, but i’m just lazy.)
NYU Law Libertarian gets my vote, mostly because I was on the thread where he/she* first showed up and in addition to whining about WHORES, also spend a tremendous amount of time defending arguments that had no basis in fact.
Misogyny plus random strawmen and totally counterfactual scenarios = troll win
*I will make the assumption that NYULL buys into a gender binary.
I went for Mike again. It’s poetry, short and to the point, containing wisdom along with an unapologetic defiant attitude.
Yeah, Little Light, I was a little confused about that too. I just figured I wasn’t up on the lingo the kids are using these days.
I am stuck between Leo and gayboygangsta. They wonder why their shit gets deleted or they end up in the spam que. Even knowing what I was going to read when I clicked this link did not make it any easier to tolerate.
This troll spoor is amazingly similar to the misogynist stuff which gets posted on the blog for which I write. We occasionally post our “hate mail” and it is full of anger towards women (our writers, with the exception of a new guest writer, are women). The syntax, spelling, vulgar “e-mail” addy, and general ignorance are so familiar. Maybe this is just a small group of homo idiotus troll that spend all their time stalking women’s blogs. They are sad guys who could benefit from professional help, as they do display some apparent personality disorders. They, like Fox’s Bill O’Reilly, mourn the demise of the “white, male, Christian power structure.” But you’d think that they could be, at least, more articulate about it…..Oh, I forgot – Mike has my vote because he conveys his message in concise, almost poetic form!
i’m going to have to go with john carter on this one.
i think all of yall can suck my left nut,
thanks, and merry christmas!
i mean, ’cause he shows gratitude and is clearly in the holiday spirit. that and he wants y’all to suck his left nut. that’s class right there. nothing. but. class.
i sorta feel guilty giving any of them any recognition at all…
but i thnk the inventive spelling (choumme) does deserve some props.
I’m partial to the celebrity defenders, like poor Paris Hilton NEEDS HER FANS’ LOVE OR SHE WILL SURELY PERISH!!!!!11!! U HATERS R JUST LOSERS!!11!
…Paris Hilton, or Angelina Jolie, or Jennifer Aniston, or Katie Holmes. You know, I think they’re doing okay.
Where are the defensive fans of, say, Steve Guttenberg?
I really hope that Paris thread becomes something like the Angelina thread on Punk Ass Blog that NEVER DIES because OMFG ANGELINA IZ SO HOTT & U R JELLUS!?!?!!!
Dude, are you hating on Jen? Because if so, you need to BACK OFF. She’s had a rough few years, ok?
I thought GP’s post would end with, “And how come I can’t get no tang around here?”
Gotta go with NYU Law Libertarian, for the kind of definitional, letter-of-the-law, manipulative hair-splitting (and circular reasoning) I’ve come to expect – nay, demand – nay! dread! – from my professional peers. That whiff of psuedo-intellectualism is icing on the cake.
Go NYU Law Libertarian, go!
I have to say, at least trolls lately are trying to be… original? It’s definitely a toss-up between Mike and the bafflingly contradictory Gayboy Gangsta, who has now permanently etched the word “choumme” into my mind. Thank you, Gayboy. You have forever enriched my conversations.
Haiku, by Gayboy Gangsta
You serve no purpose —
other than the fragrant smell
of your underpants.
Check minus for lack of kigo.
It’s going to be a tight race.
“How do I know? I just do, that’s all.”
Oh.
my.
gosh.
My ab workout is finished for the day.
*defensive fan of Steve Guttenberg storms in*
OK, not really, no. I just couldn’t sustain the persona.
I vote for “Gayboy Gangsta,” because I’ve been reading the Bad Sex Writing Awards nominees, and I think he’s pretty much giving them a run for their money.
wow. i can’t imagine wading through posts like this on a regular basis. thanks to jill and the other moderators for always taking out the garbage and for sharing some of the most ridiculous posts.
i had to vote for GG. between his name, the spelling and the content, GG is a triple threat.
I had to go w/ GP, for his lack of coherence, lack of ability to get anywhere close to something that resembled a fact, and his gross overuse of punctuation.
But yes, a tough race. They seem to be trying harder than last season!
While any post that includes the word “strumpet” in any capacity is automatically comedy gold, I had to go with Mike. His poetry combined with his love for Arpaio put him over the top for this Arizonan.
I was too impressed by Gayboy Gangsta’s progressive admission in a public forum that his dick is skinny to vote for him.
And thanks so much for the morning laugh!
there is a misnumbering up above, there are two #4′s and no #3.
but I went with the haiku. you gotta have nothing else to do and nothing rewarding in your life to sit there and compose posts like that which you know serve only to bug you wonderful women doing the moderation and will never see the comment section.
I went with GP as well. The candidates seemed poor compared to last year, and some, like Gayboy Gangsta, seemed to be bucking for the prize deliberately. I thought GP’s evident belief in Palin really signaled his sincere wrongheadedness, and sincerity goes a long way.
Gayboy Gangsta is just too impressive. Choumme? GP gets a close second for creative use of exclamation points, but self-identifying as a panty-sniffer really takes the cake.
Hey Lauren, here’s my take:
But ya know, I think a good deal of this heap of silly trollage can be distilled to a single, rather banal haiku:
I had to stop reading after “FDR caused the Great Depression!”
Best. Revisionist. History. Ever.
Hoover? Secretly FDR in disguise!
Is anyone else still bitter about Cuttin’ Up Hookers’ tough beat last year? I still think this line alone could beat out any of the contenders this year…
I can’t decide between John Carter and Gayboy Gangsta.
I had the same reaction. Very tempted to vote for GP as a result. Still, John Carter kept it short and sweet… ;)
for me, it was a close tie between Mike again and Gayboy Gangsta. They both just had that extra bit of flair and creativity to them!
I think my favorite sentence of all is “You show me a feminist and I’ll show you my cock” from Gayboy Gangsta. I mean, that’s just pure poetry.
I have to go with John Carter. There’s just something about a man who’s not sure whether or not you can suck his left nut.
However, it will take a while to remove from my mind the image left by this line of GP’s:
“Governor Palin is Ronald Reagan in a skirt!”
“You show me a feminist and I’ll show you my cock” is a little unclear. Is he daring us to find him a feminist because he thinks feminists don’t exist? Or is he, because he’s on a blog full of feminists, just offering to show us his cock?
My vote is for Pablo.
That whole “you need a man to be safe” bit was gold.
Governor Palin is Ronald Reagan in a skirt!
Somewhere there is a drag queen or female impersonator waiting for inspiration to strike, and that’s why I voted for GP.
Oh!! I love this game! I had to vote for John Carter for his brevity and festive spirit. And he was polite about it. I did appreciate Gayboy Gangta for the illiteration, however.
Gayboy Gangsta all the way. Why? The sheer ridiculousness of how he announces that he’s a panty-sniffer – almost prideful! And that last sentence is simply priceless; it’s asshat t-shirt slogan material. Finally, something about his word choice and phrasing seems off, like badly translated anime, which just kind of ramps up the campy-odd factor.
I had to go with Pablo. He managed to squeeze conservative rhetoric, homophobia, a complete and total lack of understanding of feminism and the criminal justice system, and a revealing, Freudian rant about his own marriage into just over a hundred words.
I voted for Mike Again. It was tough, and I almost went for Gayboy Gangsta cos panty-sniffers always make me laugh and make me think of cats that get all horny around dirty clothes. But Mike Again edges Gayboy out. What a combination of succinctness, utter inaccuracy, and TOTAL FAIL.
“Moderate this, ugly bitch.” Oooh, I’m so SKEERED!
(Also, how un-Feministe-cultured am I, that I very well remember Season 2, but did not make the ANTM connection until now??!!??)
I’ll de-lurk for a second to comment.
Tempting as all of the lame blowjob and lesbian cracks are, I think GP takes the cake here, just becuase he is so damned ignorant. Just when you think you can’t read anything more ill-informed and off track, someone calls Sarah Palin Reagan in a skirt. Goddammit.
Mike #3.
You can just picture him grabbing his package on “Moderate this!”
And he seems to think being a “fat lesbian ugly bitch” is a bad thing.
I just have to vote for the deluded Johnny, who complains about having his comment removed… just as it’s brought to light to be mocked! Ok, maybe I didn’t get the timing right, but there’s just a certain irony to his post that is amusing.
Although I can see why someone who engages in “sinffing” is surpassing him.
I vote for Mike Again too.
I just had to go with GP. He managed to cover so many wingnut talking points at once. The historical revisionism, the misogyny and racism all in one comment is just gold. I allways prefer a pseudo-erudite troll myself.
I can’t decide between Leo and NYU Law Libertarian. Such special self-entitlement in each of their posts. Hmm…
I have to go with Gayboy Gangsta. First, of course, the “choumme” affectation (cum/chum/consomme, the possibilities are endless). Then there’s this bit of brain teaser: “All women are is holes to be fucked my men with skinny dicks and love it.” Do women not deserve fat dicks, or is it that women are to stupid to scorn the skinny ones. Oh, plus the lovely “by/my” slip there.
Poetry ALWAYS gets my vote. Mike Again, the way you see right into Jill’s innermost soul in your stirring verse just makes me tingle.
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=choumme
Urban Dictionary says:
“choumme” is not defined yet.
There are some who are obviously more vulgar, but GP has so wrong in such a fundamental way and put so many words and so much heart into it, he wins my vote hands down. That guy must pee red from all the kool-aid he drinks. I’m surprised he was able to type this at all with his head up Rush Limbaugh’s ass. He must be a good touch-typer.
I don’t understand why you post this stuff, particularly in a way that highlights it. Every time I read comments like this (and to be completely honest, I stopped reading as soon as I realized what it was), despite my knowing that it’s just drivel, I feel a pang of hurt because of it. No doubt it’s my personal sensitivity. There’s just so much negativity out there already that isn’t moderated. Why highlight the comments that you’ve removed or not allowed to post in the first place?
Leo’s the one for me. I can tell because of the spelling. And he’s right – Where are the females who give him what he wants and yet also giving?
Welcome to commenting, Darcie!
Definitely Gayboy Gangster for me. Pure sexual aggression in its prime and a blaring sense of entitlement, coupled with tiny intellect, and definitely he has a way with words, to let you know how he really feels.
Leo’s hate is the special, underhanded hate that does the most damage to women IMNSHO. He’s probably great fun on a first date. (And calling us “females”–niiiice.)
The worst misogynist is the one who claims to love women.
As an old-time usenet abuser, I have to say “meh” to all these weak efforts. The only one with any brio at all is Exclamation Point Boy, and while he’s solid on the topics – FDR turned a mere recession into the Great Depression, ha! – his pacing is not just lousy but totally non-existent. As for the rest of those potty-mouthed halfwits, they should just go stand in the corner.
EPB! Trolling is fishing. When you rush and shout and splash around, the fish all swim away. Gracefully cast and reel, cast and reel, take your time, that’s how you do it. Instead you just chucked your lit stick of TNT into the pond and stood on the bank with a hook net. There’s no sport in that. We are not amused. But keep trying and better luck next year.
Sylvie, the reason you think the numbering is wrong is because you’re a woman.
;)
Put me down for the choumme guy.
Unless he’s misspelling “chrome” which could be interesting.
Because sometimes you just have to be able to laugh at it. We remove much, much uglier comments than this pretty regularly, and it gets exhausting and disheartening. It takes some of the frustration away when you’re able to mock it.
I just keep laughing over this. All day today, I know I’m going to be thinking of this sentence and cracking up. Even when I’m at the dentist later.
I was all set to go with GP, because he’s the type IRL who a) continually opens his yap for all and sundry to be unwillingly subjected to his “plain ol’ common sense”; and b) he’s able, I’m willing to bet, to put forth said opinions in such a voice that he sounds reasonable to people who don’t want to think or read, and then vote accordingly. In that way, he’s able to spread his crap and do real damage.
Then I went with Tia, only because if she has a child (especially a girl) that poor kid’s gotta grow up with women like Paris Hilton being held up as a standard. Try to overcome that shit planted in your head. Jesus, I’m overanalyzing this. Back to Guttenberg! *snort*
And Jill, and everyone else who sifts through this so we don’t have to – thank you. Truly.
Mika Again.
Jill is a fat lesbian. How do I know?
I just do, that’s all.
Moderate this, ugly bitch.
Concise, gets to the point, wraps up a lot of feminist stereotypes into one tight package. And written on separate lines, like each sentence is poetry. I wish it rhymed.
A run between Gangsta and Leo… Mike again should get points for trying hard. His points not very well backed, but he tried.
Pedro FTW. His Joycean use of the stream of conciousness in his narrative gives it a nice literary touch. I’m intrigued by what his desperate insistence that women need men, goddamit! and his presentation of Crazy Authoritarian Asshole Joe Arpaio as the symbol of ultimate manhood unintentionally reveals about his own insecurities, hinted at in his reference to”weak sheriffs.” I give him bonus points for his non-sequitor regarding ex-husbands and his complete cluelessness in not knowing the difference between a convicted criminal and someone jailed while awaiting trial. I’ll give him an extra bonus point for the unintentional Freudian double-entendre about women walking the streets.
I don’t understand why you post this stuff, particularly in a way that highlights it. Every time I read comments like this (and to be completely honest, I stopped reading as soon as I realized what it was), despite my knowing that it’s just drivel, I feel a pang of hurt because of it. No doubt it’s my personal sensitivity. There’s just so much negativity out there already that isn’t moderated. Why highlight the comments that you’ve removed or not allowed to post in the first place?>>>>>
I completely understand what you’re saying, but I also feel like having a sense of humor is an essential part of progressive ideals. And being able to laugh at your detractors is the biggest power shift for which a cause can hope. Drawing attention to the particularly absurd points out the ridiculous nature of those who oppress, which is a concept that goes back centuries.
I work in the domestic violence/sexual assault field- we laugh a lot, because if we didn’t, we’d cry. And most of us still cry a lot, too, but being able to laugh is awfully empowering.
But again, I understand your discomfort. Just trying to offer a different POV.
I liked Pablo, because there is a connection between his username and his post. Just as Pablo Picasso painted disjointed, mismatched stuff, Pablo’s post is random and nonsensical. Or maybe that’s just his real name, I don’t know.
My favourite is still the guy on the first contest who said “lol boobs”.
Hey Phee & Jill:
Thanks for responding. I get what you’re saying. It just triggers things for me that I don’t want triggered. My deal, not y’alls. :) It also occurred to me that this “game” format may serve to reinforce this kind of commenting since it sets up a sort of competition for trolls to try to say outrageous things that will get them featured in the Top 10 in future posts. Let’s hope this is not the case. I’m sure Jill et al get tired of moderating this stuff.
Wow. Its like prozac for bad marriages. LOL! At least he’s responsible in saying it could be used in combination with therapy.
Whoops. That was supposed to go on the Love Drug post. I dunno what happened.
Lauren: My initial reading of that sentence is that he’s saying either his cock IS a feminist, or a feminist IS his cock. Isn’t that how the “You show me an X, and I’ll show you a Y” sentence construction is usually intended to be read? For example, you show me the winner of this contest, and I’ll show you the ultimate loser.
I voted John Carter, because it’s the only one that made me smile in a “Hee!” way rather than a “God damn that shit makes me angry but at least the stupid is kinda funny” way.
I had to go with Pablo, because if you unpack his comment, you realize that he is operating under the assumption that:
-we are all lesbians
-who used to be married
-to the same man (“think of your ex-husbands, and how you all tried to destroy him”)
I really feel sorry for the guy we were all married to. Who could have withstood a horde of angry feminists swooping down in destroy mode? Perhaps the CRIMINAL trying to harm us all will stand a better chance. Maybe the CRIMINAL is our ex-husband’s brother, and seeking revenge. I also like that CRIMINAL is capitalized. It’s very 1920s silent movie. And now I have a mental image of a 1920s silent movie about the attack of the feminists (CARD: The next day…. [man is walking pleasantly through park, then turns with a look of horror so abject it could only be found in a silent movie]… CARD: The FEMINISTS attacked! [cut to feminists attacking over loud, dissonant strings in the score, the man fighting for his life] CARD: “Help… me…. !”)
And that is why I had to vote for Pablo.
I nearly voted for GP, but the idea of Raegan in a skirt will give me nightmares for years to come, so I’ll have to go for choumme.
I had to go with GG because of the choumme. You see I read that as, “Oh joy, I think I’m going to chow on ‘em!” or “Oh joy, I think I’m going to chew on ‘em!” only when he’s got a mouth full o’ panties it comes out choumme. Besides he admits he has a pencil dick and that’s really sad, he deserves a pity vote just for that.
I have to vote for Pablo. I just do. And the reason is this sentence:
Why don’t you lesbians move to cities that have weak sheriffs?
Isn’t the imagery there just breathtaking? You could write whole novels about the conundrum of whether the cities have weak sheriffs because the lesbians moved there, or because the lesbians moved to the cities because they already had weak sheriffs.
Pablo for Next Top Troll!
Oh! I’m still torn between NYU LIbertarian and GP. While I love the ridiculousness of choumming and weak sheriff’s. I’m a sucker for disfavoring the trolls who want to pretend like they’re informed and educated. I think NYU libertarian is going to get my vote. There’s nothing like trying to be intellectually superior and then bannering your intellectual insecurity with a name that includes the school you go to. I almost feel sorry for the guy.
I’m still too mad at fuckyou@yourass.com for totally stealing the “yourass.com” domain name before I could register it.
I had to go with Pablo, because if you unpack his comment, you realize that he is operating under the assumption that:
-we are all lesbians
-who used to be married
-to the same man (”think of your ex-husbands, and how you all tried to destroy him”)
^This made my day…at first read, I didn’t pick up on the subtle brilliance contained in Pablo’s trollific post. Ironic much? Priceless, Isable, utterly priceless.
Mike Again, because his remarks are right up there with “lol your fat”.
I deserve somethinjg.
John Carter. I’m so curious about his right nut…
Reminds me once more that Terry Pratchett once wrote you could deduct someone’s state of mind by the number of exclamation marks they use. Which has me torn between Mike and GP.
Then again, all the others are so hilarious, too… Though decision.
Indeed, it was a close call between Leo and Gayboy Gangsta. I think I’ll vote for both of ‘em a couple of times…
Just missing a comment with lots of vitriol and misogyny finished with a :) since smileys surely make us all feel warm and happy inside after being abused…
I chose Leo. His wailing and moaning about the lack of “females” possessing just the right mix of assertiveness and pliability to properly complement his awesomeness made me smile, while the others either made me roll my eyes or scratch my head.
For Leo: lol your entitlement!
I voted for Mike, for his impressive understanding of what “lesbos” like to do best.
Pablo is a strong contender. He manages to create a veritable moebius strip of self-contradiction, with his lesbians married to men (who are all one man) who they abuse but rely on for protection. It’s like a short troll comment-version of Finnegan’s Wake. Try it; you can start at any point if you continue back to the beginning from the last part.
GG brings the fun, with his happy panty-sniffing and avante-garde verbal stylings. Another possible.
When it comes to wingnut rhetoric, GP demonstrates the greatest capacity for regurgitation of senseless talking points. His crazy is perhaps more thorough than the rest.
But I had to give my kudos to Tia, who believes Paris Hilton has to struggle with elitism and must be protected.