Oh no, it’s . . . ABORTION DONUTS

File this under “the most stupid thing I’ve ever heard in my life” — even worse than OMG LESBIAN SOUP.

Krispy Kreme Doughnuts released this really apolitical and seemingly innocuous press release, saying that they’re giving away free doughnuts on Inauguration Day:

“Krispy Kreme Doughnuts, Inc. (NYSE: KKD) is honoring American’s sense of pride and freedom of choice on Inauguration Day, by offering a free doughnut of choice to every customer on this historic day, Jan. 20. By doing so, participating Krispy Kreme stores nationwide are making an oath to tasty goodies — just another reminder of how oh-so-sweet ‘free’ can be.”

Yes, I know exactly what you’re thinking: how dare those sugar-peddlers promote the murder of unborn babies????

Right? What else could you possibly think? Well, rest assured that the American Life League is with you and put out this statement:

“Just an unfortunate choice of words? For the sake of our Wednesday morning doughnut runs, we hope so. The unfortunate reality of a post Roe v. Wade America is that ‘choice’ is synonymous with abortion access, and celebration of ‘freedom of choice’ is a tacit endorsement of abortion rights on demand.

“President-elect Barack Obama promises to be the most virulently pro-abortion president in history. Millions more children will be endangered by his radical abortion agenda.

“Celebrating his inauguration with ‘Freedom of Choice’ doughnuts – only two days before the anniversary of the Supreme Court decision to decriminalize abortion – is not only extremely tacky, it’s disrespectful and insensitive and makes a mockery of a national tragedy.

“A misconstrued concept of ‘choice’ has killed over 50 million preborn children since Jan. 22, 1973. Does Krispy Kreme really want their free doughnuts to celebrate this ‘freedom.’

And for some strange reason, Krispy Kreme hasn’t responded to the organization’s requests for comment.  Imagine that.  I guess that at least they still have their new National Sanctity of Human Life Day.

I don’t know about you, but me?  I’m going to be running out on January 20th to get me an abortion doughnut.  Mmm . . . tastes like women who don’t know their place!

h/t Veronica’s Twitter

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36 comments for “Oh no, it’s . . . ABORTION DONUTS

  1. January 16, 2009 at 3:21 pm

    Just when you think they couldn’t get any more ridiculous, someone steps up to prove that wrong.

    You have to wonder if these morons don’t realize that this kind of apeshittery is why some people elected to vote for Obama to begin with this year. I, too, will drive down to Daly City just to pick up a box of these simply because these pinheads did this.

  2. January 16, 2009 at 3:23 pm

    I believe I’m on the record re: my hatred for donuts, but this may make me go buy a Krispy Kreme and give it to someone else.

  3. ks
    January 16, 2009 at 3:30 pm

    That is just precious. Because really, I get to pick what kind of free donut I want means that Krispy Kreme wants me to have an abortion?

    Their donuts aren’t even all that good, but now I’m wishing that the one in town here hadn’t closed down. Because I’d also go get my very own abortion donut on Tuesday.

  4. Tom Foolery
    January 16, 2009 at 3:36 pm


    Independent of the actual viewpoint of the group (i.e. wrong), this isn’t so different similar shenanigans pulled by stuff progressives do — like when everybody got all in a tizzy when Joe the Plumber/Israeli War Correspondent said Obama had “a tap dance…almost as good as Sammy Davis, Jr.”

    Not to say the ALL isn’t being very, very silly here. Just that it’s a silliness not uncommon in political discourse.

  5. Tom Foolery
    January 16, 2009 at 3:42 pm

    Wow, my syntax is just all over the place up there. My apologies.

  6. Kyra
    January 16, 2009 at 4:02 pm

    Mmm . . . tastes like women who don’t know their place!

    If I wasn’t bisexual already . . . wow, independent women taste as good as donuts?!

  7. SarahMC
    January 16, 2009 at 4:20 pm

    I had my boyfriend crying in laughter as I read their press release over the phone last night. Bonkers.
    Plz to boycot, fundies, as I’d rather not have to stand behind you in line anyway.

  8. Ledasmom
    January 16, 2009 at 4:25 pm

    What nonsense. Those doughnuts don’t look like they have one ounce of real fetus in them. How good could they possibly be?

  9. January 16, 2009 at 4:26 pm

    Apples and racist-minstrel-stereotype-oranges, Tom Foolery.

  10. jj
    January 16, 2009 at 4:28 pm

    A lot of the Pro-lifers are trying to get people to send Krispy Kreme emails in protest over this. I say we send emails in support (mentioning we hope they DO mean freedom of choice with regards to reproductive justice).


  11. akeeyu
    January 16, 2009 at 4:30 pm

    Uh, I…uh…what? They got all that out of the word “choice”?

    I’d hate to go shopping with one of those idiots. “Should I get the blue or the green shirt? This is a hard choice!” “OMG ABORTION!” “WTF?”

  12. January 16, 2009 at 4:36 pm

    So what are we to infer about multiple choice tests?

    Massacre of the Innocents, indeed…

  13. January 16, 2009 at 4:36 pm

    I’d hate to go shopping with one of those idiots. “Should I get the blue or the green shirt? This is a hard choice!” “OMG ABORTION!” “WTF?”

    OMG, so you think it’s okay to abort poor innocent babies with clothing now????

  14. January 16, 2009 at 4:45 pm

    Mmm . . . tastes like women who don’t know their place!

    Absolutely the funniest thing I have read today. Brilliant!

  15. Phrone
    January 16, 2009 at 5:34 pm

    I had to read that press release so many times over before I understood what they were actually saying. >< Even then it was still a “Wait, what?” moment.

    So, yeah, I’m going to find a local Krispy Kreme and get one…mmm, abortion doughnuts.

  16. Ryan Class of '11
    January 16, 2009 at 6:49 pm

    I’m wondering why you haven’t figured it out. Barack Obama is not pro-life nor pro-choice, he is pro-america. he is your damn president. he is my president. i supported him and worked local for his campaign. this guy fought through the shit of racial tension, and is still fighting though he’s had more death threats than anyother president? besides women get abortions, presidents don’t make them abort.

  17. lavender spats
    January 16, 2009 at 7:40 pm

    Wait, Ryan, who hasn’t figured it out? I think everyone here is pretty darn clear on Obama’s policy statements and voting record. If, however, you’re joining in the eye-rolling at the American Life League, then by all means, continue!

  18. hbsweet
    January 16, 2009 at 8:03 pm

    I’ll have my abortion doughnut, and wash it down with some contraception coffee.

  19. Kristin
    January 16, 2009 at 8:21 pm

    What is it about donuts that appeals to batshit rightwingers? Didn’t you all post something about that Dunkin’ Donuts ad with Rachael Ray wearing what the Religious Right deemed to be a “keffiyah”? Only it was actually a paisley scarf?

    Anyway, I can vouch for Krispy Kreme being a right-leaning apolitical corporation. I’m from NC where it was started, and I know.

  20. January 16, 2009 at 10:05 pm

    Glazed or no?

  21. Angiportus
    January 16, 2009 at 10:07 pm

    In my experience, Krispy Kremes suck. In sympathy with you folks, tomorrow I will go to a good bakery and have myself a pro-choice spiral-thingie-with-maple-frosting.

  22. Kristin
    January 16, 2009 at 10:41 pm

    Krispy Kreme donuts are only good if you go to one of their stores and eat them right away while they’re still hot. There’s nothing better than that, though… They melt in your mouth. Seriously.

  23. Kyra
    January 16, 2009 at 10:43 pm

    Barack Obama is not pro-life nor pro-choice, he is pro-america.

    I do believe he is all three. (Yes, American Life League and assorted other antiabortion groups: I said it. Pro-choice includes pro-contraception, which prevents more abortions than banning abortion ever will. Ergo, Obama is both, and he does pro-life a whole hell of a lot better than you lot—especially when you’re ranting about donuts.

  24. January 16, 2009 at 11:48 pm

    “Just an unfortunate choice of words?”

    Oooo! She said “choice!” I’m gonna tell on her!

  25. Ellen
    January 17, 2009 at 1:19 am


    “Mmm . . . tastes like women who don’t know their place!”

    and this:

    “I’ll have my abortion doughnut, and wash it down with some contraception coffee.”

    both made me spit out my drink laughing.


  26. January 17, 2009 at 8:23 am

    Well it’s about time they embraced the anti-choice label, and being against the very word “choice”, might just be saying more about them than they care to reveal.

  27. January 17, 2009 at 9:16 am

    I’ve just now posted an action alert on my blog about this. Contact Krispy Kreme and tell them to resist the American Life League’s bully tactics.

  28. W. Kiernan
    January 17, 2009 at 3:30 pm

    OMG I bought a London broil today, and it says right on the sticker “USDA Choice”!!!1!

    I am so going to avoid making any wise cracks about how independent women taste.

  29. 10G
    January 18, 2009 at 10:30 am

    “I’ll have my abortion doughnut, and wash it down with some contraception coffee.”

    I’m SO with you, hbsweet! Only problem, no Krispy K’s locally ’round my neck of the woods….so you may just have to eat an extra for me. :)

  30. January 18, 2009 at 11:37 am

    Let me preface my comment by saying that I have 12 years of Catholic schools in my background. Occasionally we’d discuss the churches stance on birth control and their method, namely the rhythm method. I had numerous Christian Brothers plainly state that people who used that method were also called parents.

    The Christian Fundamentalists these days want abstinence, no birth control and are anti-abortion.

    So let me pose another question to them, what would they do with the additional 50 million people had they not been aborted?

    I am pro-choice, always have been, always will be. Until the churches stop interfering with hormonal sex drives and allowing open use of birth control up to and including abortion, I won’t stop.

  31. January 18, 2009 at 1:28 pm

    Lesbian Soup, Abortion donuts, don’t you liberals leave ANYTHING? I want mine please

  32. Rick
    January 19, 2009 at 7:35 pm

    Tastiest abortion I’ve had this week!

    Too bad there’s no 12 Step for Stupid……..

Comments are closed.