The people have spoken, and you have narrowed the Top Troll contest down to three glorious commenters. Now it’s up to you, dear readers, to decide who will be Feministe’s Next Top Troll.
Contestants and ballot below the fold.
1. Gayboy Gangsta:
I love sinffing women’s panties! Oh joy, I think I’m going to choumme! All women are is holes to be fucked my men with skinny dicks and love it. You serve no essential purpose other than the fragrant aroma of your underpants. You show me a femminist and I’ll show you my cock.
2. GP:
Uhmmmm, you folks might want to save the indignation about Fox News, which isn’t going anywhere, since it has more viewers than all of the rest of them combined.
The “Magic Negro” comes from an LA Times editorial written by a BLACK liberal!
http://www.latimes.com/news/opinion/la-oe-ehrenstein19mar19,0,5335087.story?coll=la-opinion-center
This article was turned into a hilarious musical parody by the multi-award winning musician, Paul Shanklin, for the Rush Limbaugh show.
The song doesn’t make fun of Barrack Obama! It makes fun of Al Sharpton and other sore losers!
Obama himself says he thinks the song is funny! And that is one of the few things he and I agree on!
And what’s with the word progressive? There is absolutely nothing progressive about a liberal. Go look at a history book. The democrat party hasn’t had an original thought since 1932!And Barrack Obama and the other “progressives” are looking at the VERY programs that FDR came up with in the 1930s that turned a bad recession, like now, into the Great Depression, and caused that disaster to last for a decade!
Using conservative principals, something we haven’t seen in a long time either, the depression could have been overcome in a year, and great prosperity would have followed.
See what happened after Ronald Reagan ran Jimmy Carter, our worst president ever, out of DC, for some reference on this!
But thanks top the same “progressive ideas” that Obama is pushing right now, it took a world war to get us out of FDR’s mess!
All I know is I can’t wait ’till 2012 so we can get a woman in office to straighten these losers in DC out!
Sarah Palin is gonna put Moose hunting on hold to go hunt some donkeys!
Governor Palin is Ronald Reagan in a skirt! And he was our finest president ever. Sarah’s gonna have one hell of a mess to clean up after this totally inexperienced fellow, Obama crashes and burns.
Thankfully she has a long and distinguished record of coming in and doing just that!
3. Pablo:
ROFL you man-haters crack me up! You need a man to keep you safe and want the man to be nice to the CRIMINAL trying to harm you. Think about your ex-husbands, and how you all tried to destroy him at any cost. Did you play nice with him? I think not. Get real here. These criminals are scared of Arpiao. They have the lowest repeat offenders in the country. Why don’t you lesbians move to cities that have weak sheriffs? You will find the highest crime rates in those cities where scared little women like you rarely walk the streets.
ah, nice to see my personal favourites are still in the running. you can’t beat a guy with a skinny dick that is also a “femminist.” (where does it find the time?)
oh , what a tough choice. I’m torn between GP and Pablo because I love nothing more than a dude trying to educate me about “The real world”. I alwasy feel so blessed by the wisdom of these genuis economists and crime rate analysts.
I think I have to go with Pablo. The way his psychological issues with his ex-wife shine through an unrelated comment…is awesome.
After much thought I think my vote is going to have to go to Pablo. He manages to combine his hatred of women with a paternalistic desire to teach us. We should all be so grateful for his less than wise commentary. Yep no doubt he is a first class asshat.
I was reluctant to go with GP because his/her entry is sadly lacking in compulsive, insecure woman-bashing, but I just don’t think you can top the argument that the Great Depression was caused by the New Deal. And those exclamation points are so cute and eager-looking.
Come ooooon, Pablo!!!
I went with GP. Maybe it’s because I found the comment myself and it so lit up my day at the time that it holds a special place in my heart, but it does. Oh, how it does.
I just adore how enthusiastically Gangsta is sharing all about his panty-sniffing escapades. I do love the others, but Gangsta is just too special.
I still gotta go with Pablo. We never would have know about that lesbian/weak sheriff correlation if not for him!
also had to go with P… the insinuation that lesbians can, by thier sheer presence, fight crime was beautiful.
My first choice didn’t make the cut. GP is just too tedious, so I eliminated him. Between Pablo and Gangsta I went with panty-sniffing for the win!
C’mon GP fans! Get cracking!
While both Pablo and GP were deliciously offensive, it seemed obvious that they were at least trying to be serious. To me that makes them ignorant and unintentionally hilarious, but not trolls. Gayboy Gangsta, on the other hand, seems to be honestly trying to cause trouble and goes way over the top seemingly for the sake of going over the top. He didn’t have the fantasy that anyone would change their minds because of what he said, he just wanted to be a dick. Thats the gold-standard of trolling.
I kind of think GG is a winner for the sheer “threatening you with my wiener, which you will love and want even as I sort of imply raping you with it” content of his post. Yet Pablo logs on just to vent his fury at ex-wives and imply that the little women are too scared to walk the streets without their mens! How will I chooooooooose.
Oh, OK, it’s GG.
I’m still pulling for GG. His specialness is vivid and overwhelming.
They are all special! However, I feel a special connection to one in particular! I will vote for that one! Any guesses which!?!!
I’m going with Pablo.
I suppose this is a bad time for Marry, Bone, or Kill?
My vote went with Pablo, mainly because he reminded me so much of the people I worked with, a bunch of old, bitter men who were shocked and surprised that their wives up and divorced them.
So often I wanted to say, with every ounce of sarcasm at my command “Gee, how COULD she leave someone with such a sparkling personality?”
I think it’s odd you chose a survey tool called ‘polldaddy’ for your survey. The word ‘daddy’ has some pretty ugly associations with women’s exploitation.
Tough choice. Especially since my IQ dropped ten points after reading that.
All three of these guys have never been laid, and they don’t have girlfriends. Especially “panty sniffer”.
Number one was a little too trollish. Just pure neaderthal knuckle dragging. Not much bang for the buck, although the panty sniffing comment made me laugh….or gag? A little of both.
I don’t know what the fuck is up with number two. What’s with all the exclamation points! That’s just fucking annoying.
I guess I’m picking number three. It wasn’t as trollish as number one, and he seemed to actually think about what he was writing. With hilarious results!
Well, GG is just a child, and GP sounds like a faux-conservative. There’s nothing wrong with that, but don’t expect it to replace Stephen Colbert anytime soon.
Pablo gets my nod, but I won’t click ‘vote’ because I’m rarely ever here.
My first vote went for GP and I will ride her/him (in a non-sexual way) to the end. I just love the “fair & balanced” analysis of history through Limbaugh-shaded glasses. S/he had her/his fill of Kool-Aid and still asked for more. It’s so adorable the way s/he can eliminate any blame of conservative principles for the last 8 years for the clusterfuck of fail our country is in. S/he can’t lose because s/he re-writes the rules as s/he goes along, the Calvin-Ball of politics, as it were. It’s so cute! Wait… s/he is 6 years old, I assume, right?
First timer here.
But I do think I must throw my vote with GP! I see that the numbers are not good. I think, however, that the other two know they’re, hmm… outstanding in their field.
GP, on the other hand, knows how to spell, mostly, and does he ever know how to punctuate?! WOW! And the History!!1 I never knew my teachers got it so bad!! And the astute analysis of modern culture, and media, and all this stuff!
If G.P. doesn’t win, then we won’t end up with a woman in the White House who will straighten out the losers!
Sincerely, vote GP.
While both Gayboy Gangsta’s and Pablo’s entries are arguably more intentionally offensive than GP’s, I have to give the nod – and my vote – to GP, due to the sheer scope and breadth of his (her?) wingnuttery, on issues both feminist and not (FDR caused the Great Depression??).
Sure, it’s easy to vote for the flashiest insult…but remember, people: at the end of the day, trolling is about the depth of commitment, the raison d’etre, if you will, of the troll. Just how deluded are they, and how strongly does that bizarro-world, parallel-universe view of the world compel them to troll the comments section of various blogs, exuding their wingnuttery into the environs like an alcoholic at the dog track exudes flop-sweat as the greyhounds come around turn four and head for the finish line?
Any twelve-year-old Son of John Galt can flame-and-run, but it takes the truly delusional to post up a screed like GP’s, and that’s why (s)he gets my vote for Troll Of The Season, unreservedly. Go, GP!
I still gotta go with the Gangsta. “You serve no essential purpose other than the fragrant aroma of your underpants.”? That sentence is whack, both for the obvious asshattery-based reasons AND semantic ones. An aroma can’t be a purpose. The creation of an aroma, the providing of an aroma, these can be purposes, but an aroma itself? I’m currently in the middle of a phonology paper, so I don’t want to get into this, but I swear to the Sky Fairy that there’s something wrong with the thematic roles in that sentence.
Yes, I’m talking linguistics gibberish. Gangsta cracks me up, AND makes the wannabe-syntactician in me go into problem solving mode. Thus, the man has my vote.
Don’t wanna give Gayboy Gansta the credit and Pablo’s thinly masked emotional history just tugs on my heartstrings, poor guy.
GP is DEFINITELY a troll since his essay is only related to feminism through a display of his own mysogeny. Go on a rant when you’re not even keeping to the subject matter! Troll.
Governor Palin is Ronald Reagan in a skirt!
Now there’s a mental image I really DID NOT NEED!
However, as terribly original as it is, it simply doesn’t match this line:
Why don’t you lesbians move to cities that have weak sheriffs?
For the win!
I think it’s odd you chose a survey tool called ‘polldaddy’ for your survey. The word ‘daddy’ has some pretty ugly associations with women’s exploitation.
Now, hairylegs, keep the concern trolling in check until after the votes are tallied, so you can get in thew running! It would be a shame to put all that trolling effort in and not have a chance at the top prize.
I still liked the “Gooooooo Paris!” troll, but I guess I am outnumbered. These are a fine selection, so I’ll stop complaining.
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