Lack of resources isn’t the only (or I’d guess even the biggest) reason why people get trapped in abusive relationships. There’s also that whole fear of being killed by the abuser if you leave thing to worry about. And considering the media and fan reaction to this even before it was learned (alledged? I don’t follow this except what’s posted on feminist blogs) that Rhianna got back together with Chris Brown, she’s already been deemed not worthy regardless of anything she’s done to better or worsen the situation.

By continuing the relationship with Chris Brown this is what Rhianna is telling the world: Chris Brown is so cool that she will be his girl regardless of beating. That it’s okay to stay in an abusive relationship. And unless we hear about her and/or him seeking counseling alone or together, their’s is a perfectly natural relationship.

The public tends not to sympathize with willful victims. I’d guess Rhianna has more to lose career-wise than Brown. Unfair it may be, but it’s the reality.

Thanks for reading.

The whole “innocent until proven guilty” crap is obviously something that the police and law have to abide by (which they do very imperfectly and selectively, IMO). The only time it’s ever extended to celebrities is cases in which a man is accused of hurting a woman, or god forbid, children. Chris Brown, O.J. Simpson, Roman Polanski… do I really need to go on?

Which is why I will auction off my bodily organs on eBay before I ever take a job in PR.

I hope she leaves him because next time he could kill her. He’s been charged with threatening to do that already. And this probably wasn’t the first time he’d even done it because there were photos late last year where she was bruised. And if she hadn’t been famous, she would have been arrested along with Brown for just being on a street like 300 June. But she grew up in a house with abuse and it wouldn’t surprise me if Brown did as well.

She’s got to live her own life and make her own decisions and fight the dynamic of abuse including generational abuse. And unfortunately it can take 4-5 incidents of violence to get to that point if you survive, you might leave, which of course is a dangerous situation as one woman in L.A. found out when she was hosting a party and her ex-husband called up and said he was coming over to shoot her. She called the police and despite a TRO, they said they’d come when she called them to say he was there. He did show up and killed her and four other people in the house. So it’s an uphill battle.

Hopefully she’ll be rid of this guy before she gets to that point. But too many of young women still believe that their worth is defined by a guy no matter how abusive he is and that’s got to change too.

As to the question of his career – of course he’ll survive. And really, he probably should, after serving his sentence once he’s convicted or pleads out. Joblessness shouldn’t be part of the sentence for most crimes (certain professional misconduct aside). That’s not why his career will survive, of course. We’re all too happy as a society to end the careers of pretty much anybody who gets tagged for a whole range of offenses. He’ll survive because he’s already famous, and ‘all’ he did was hit a woman. Besides, she provoked him, right?

Well shit. Maybe she just gone and beat up herself.

FFS