Comments on: How many feminists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

By: Andrew Dobbs

Andrew Dobbs — Sat, 04 Apr 2009 09:28:17 +0000

I know this post is old so no one may see this, but I just thought of a great come back to the creepy hitting on. After he utters his lame line or whatever just say “Hold that thought, I have to take a really nasty dump.” Then walk away. Men like that can’t conceive of women defecating–I mean sex objects don’t poop do they? Not to be used with Oliver Stone.

As for personal stories, mine is from a time before I read/fell in love with a lot of feminism. My friend had warned a certain guy not to come to a party we were going to with a female friend whom this guy had gotten drunk and pressured into sex. This guy shows up anyways and my friend confronts him. After a minute or two I come up behind my friend and the guy loses his confidence–I’m 6’6″ and at the time I weighed probably 340 pounds or so.

He says to me “Dude, I don’t even know you.”

And off the cuff I reply “Yeah, well first impressions aren’t going so well so why don’t you get the fuck out of here.”

He departed presently. Not so much funny as Clint Eastwood style badassery.

By: ari

ari — Sat, 04 Apr 2009 02:39:27 +0000

…still looking for a good response to the standard “check her out” (or worse)…

ignoring it doesn’t really do the trick and doesn’t really teach him the lesson he needs…

By: Anónimo

Anónimo — Wed, 01 Apr 2009 23:46:01 +0000

Glow… I hope you don’t get in trouble beating on random assholes! It’s really not worth the effort.

By: Glow

Glow — Wed, 01 Apr 2009 16:36:34 +0000

well
i don’t think what i did was totally right but here i go:

i was pissed cuz i had forgotten my money to come back home, and i had to walk a lot under the hellish managua sun, and some guy, ans as i passes by a man in his 30′s sittin in a parked car, he shouted at me, “good bye you delicious thing” i turned around, and said: “excuse me, what?” and he said “goodbye you delicious thing”, well, long story short i beated the hell out of him with the tripod i carried, now i have a little scratch from the time he tried to protect his face.

I need to add i’m a 19 year old, 115 pund versus some random 30 something 180-190 pound bastard.

hope he learned his lesson.

By: House of Mayhem

House of Mayhem — Tue, 31 Mar 2009 18:23:52 +0000

My friend said she was accosted by a frat guy on campus who was wearing a shirt that said, “Ask me about my penis.” He stood in front of her, and streched his shirt out so she could read it.

She said, “Well, I would, but I don’t like small talk!”

Priceless!

By: Kristen

Kristen — Tue, 31 Mar 2009 18:19:56 +0000

My favorite version of the “how many feminists…” joke is as follows:

Start off with a big smile on your face.

“How many feminists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?”

Your tellee should answer, “How many?”

Drop your smile and replace it with a not-amused sort of look:

“That’s not funny.”

Works every time.

By: evil_fizz

evil_fizz — Tue, 31 Mar 2009 06:26:03 +0000

Shamelessly stolen from a story my husband tells: Two of his friends in college were having an animated/quasi-hostile argument about religion. One of them was an atheist, the other rather religious.

Religious friend (getting rather agitated): I can understand why you think that some people unthinkingly follow organized religion, but I’m getting really tired of you calling us all sheep!

Atheist friend: Well, if you’d stop calling the Lord your shepherd…

(The tone of the conversation did not improve, but the story remains.)

By: piny

piny — Tue, 31 Mar 2009 06:00:59 +0000

I never think of anything funny on the spur of the moment. The best response I’ve come up with is to just ignore them completely–not even look away or refuse to answer or walk faster, but just act like they don’t exist at all. It’s relatively safe, totally modular, and it offers them no fun and no way to keep engaging you. Also, they look kind of stupid.

I wish I had some castrastic response to disgusting comeons from disgusting strangers, but it never works out that way.

Wait, I do have one, although he wasn’t a total asshole. This guy tried to chat me up: “English? French? German? Spanish? Swedish?” and I just kept shaking my head. He came closer, finally, and said, “You’re reading an English book.” And I said, “I must just really want you to go away, then!”

“No, I’m sorry, I don’t speak any English at all,” also works.

By: Lynn Gazis-Sax

Lynn Gazis-Sax — Tue, 31 Mar 2009 05:40:07 +0000

For what it’s worth, my favorite lightbulb joke is:

How many infertile couples does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Screw in a lightbulb? Do you think it would help?

By: Smilecat

Smilecat — Tue, 31 Mar 2009 05:25:19 +0000

Oops, I swear I know my homophones. No posting for Smilecat before her morning tea.