http://community.livejournal.com/debunkingcis/

I think also forgetting about elaborate theories when you have a friend/acquaintance who is trans, and also checking in and paying attention to what with the person would like to be called is also appropriate. When I first met a particular person who was pre-op, she introduced herself to me with the name she was born with then that changed to her *female* name so it’s good to just go with the flow out of respect.

Education also means not creating analogies between personally experienced oppressions and trans issues – because you have actually reached a point where analogising does not suffice.

As far as the original question… I think context matters a lot. I’ve done outreach speaking and yeah I usually get the same Trans 101 questions every time. And I’m OK with that. It is annoying as hell to expected to do so regularly in spaces like this one, in threads that are explicitly not supposed to be Trans 101. That said, I realize everyone a newbie at times, which is why I think it’s a good idea to a have a link to 101 resources (whether it’s trans topics or others).

Attitude counts for a lot too — as in having a little humility. For example, if someone says “I’m not quite sure what terminology to use, please let me know if there’s a better way to phrase this…” I’m willing to cut them some slack. (Particularly since the trans communities don’t agree on terminology.) But I’d like them to have at least done some basic homework in a setting like this.

I guess the one of biggest context that annoys the fuck out of me is when trans people are used as jumping off point for cis people to talk about gender theory (um folks, our lives aren’t just academic theories…).

As far as insightful blogs, helen boyd’s en|gender has many good posts on both trans and gender issues.

“I suppose I’m saying that while I support trans equality issues, I will not support trans over women.”

For all your vaunted “I don’t care, really” I do wonder why you separated ‘trans ‘ and ‘women’. Some women are also trans people. Ergo, they should be able to use the women’s changing rooms. I mean, gimmie a damn break. I distinctly remember gym class and a pay-for gym locker room, among other changing room situations – most people out of their early teens are not, in fact, oggling their neighbor for ‘imperfections’ let alone coding them in their heads as men should they not resemble June Cleaver. As for this, “Most women (in my experience) naturally feel more judged my men than other women”. I’ve a bit of experience with such judgement, too, funnily enough. Most of the women I’ve heard complain about judgement such as weight, fashion, body-in-general (and the judgement I sometimes recieve/ed when being considered one, as my ‘passing’ as a guy is iffy I get to listen to more than enough righteous complaints) generally come from other women, by and large. Self-policing is one of the worst things about group dynamics. Considering your post is a judgement on a group of other women and who is and is – not – ‘good enough’ for the changing room, all based on looksism, your ‘men’s opinions matter more’ is a bit ironic and wildly incorrect.

If a man or woman thinks they were born in the wrong body, or they don’t even know which sex they identify more with *shrug*. So fucking what?

I never have understood why what other adult do bothers other people so much. Even if I don’t agree with what certain people do, if I think it’s bad for their emotional health (or physical health) such as S&M or wife swapping or dogging, it’s not my place to judge anyone. These people are adults, they know the risks, they choose to consent. I honestly see no problem with those choices unless consent is withheld or coerced.

Maybe I’m just too lazy to care, but I doubt that’s it because prejudice does get my back up, big time.

Maybe it’s wrong of me to just accept that some people change sex, maybe I should read more on the subject. If you think so, please tell me. From my own point of view, if you’d be happier changing sex or living as a different sex, or just blurring the boundaries then that’s fine with me, I don’t need to know why, I don’t need an explanation. You don’t have to justify your choices to me, nor should you.

I do however, think its naïve to think you will be welcomed with open arms into a feminist arena. Into an equality arena, fine, but feminism is by definition a gendered issue and I can see why blurring the boundaries of sex is difficult for some feminists.

The toilet debate for example. Now I come from the point of view that I honestly don’t see why I should queue to perform a natural bodily function if there’s a facility free. As such I have used both men’s and disabled toilets. In the bad old days when it was assumed only women changed babies and so the facilities were always in the ladies, I’ve seen men in there. I don’t find it much of an issue, especially since we have stalls and are locked in from any prying eyes. But I do get why some women would find a man in the ladies uncomfortable. That’s the whole reason why most baby changing facilities now are unisex and not in the ladies (well, that and that fact more men are doing the changing).

Changing rooms are a slightly more controversial issue though. People get naked in changing rooms. I don’t like communal changing rooms, I never have, I never will. The most I will try on in a shop that has them is shoes. I’m sorry, I just don’t want to display my body to anyone other than people who love me and wont judge me.

While some women are fine with changing in front of other women, I get why having a transgendered person in there would alter things drastically. Most women (in my experience) naturally feel more judged my men than other women so of course having someone who is or looks male present would be very difficult for them. And I honestly don’t think those women can be blamed for feeling that way.

The answer is relative simple, there shouldn’t be communal changing rooms, either for shops or sports facilities, all changing facilities should be unisex, individual cubicles. But until that happens I will avoid shops with communal changing rooms, I will change in the toilet stalls of sports facilities rather than the changing room and I will not blame other women because you are unsure where your place is to change.

Maybe I’m being unfair, maybe I am in the wrong (shocking idea, I know, but it has been known to happen) and I do sympathise with transgendered peoples plight, but you need to understand that feminism’s first responsibility is to females. As a man (whether born or trans) you can be seen as the enemy, especially when dealing with issues of sex/undressing in public.

I suppose I’m saying that while I support trans equality issues, I will not support trans over women. I will support a cause calling for unisex cubicles, I wont support your being allowed to use communal changing facilities is the women present haven’t consented.

Is that bigoted of me?

I can’t pretend to know where to draw that line. Most things in life are in delicate shades of grey. Education-bringing the issues to the uninformed-is how oppressed persons begin to claw their way out of the pit.

I am cisgendered, female and straight. Granted, I sought information and truth. No one handed it to me. When I die, I will still be seeking truth. I just don’t want anyone to miss out on a chance to enlighten someone else. It might be me.

Because experiences differ, I want to say that I also did not learn the terms “cis” or “cis gender” more recently than a year ago, but I have come across it quite frequently since then, especially in relation to trans-related blogs or blog posts. Also, I found the term fairly easy to Google for a basic definition. This is not to suggest that your experience is not valid, but that it is also not universal.

The problem wasn’t simply the question, it was the context of the question in the original thread dealing with the very painful and powerful acknowledgement of how trans people and trans-related issues have been overlooked and silenced on this blog, specifically in relation to persistant derailing. It clearly sparked enough debate and discussion to warrant its own thread to prevent derailing the original. I think the purpose of this thread is *not* to debate the need for 101, but to allow trans people (and allies?) on this blog to talk about what 101 and associated discussions mean to them.

Questions aren’t ineherently bad, but mindfulness about the context in which one asks the question is important too.