I don’t even know what to do with this one.
Fling is a new chocolate bar that’s aimed at women. You can tell, because the packaging is pink. Also because the damn thing is called “fling,” indicating that there’s something thrilling and “naughty” about the chocolate bar — and no one considers it “naughty” when a dude eats a Snickers. But a Fling only a little naughty — it just has 85 calories! (Which is also how you know it’s for women!) That’s why they didn’t call it Affair.
Oh, and the marketing rather overtly references female masturbation, thus again indicating that it’s totally for ladies:
Wrapped in a shiny pink and sliver package, this delicate “chocolate finger” is intended for women. The word “finger” is an industry term for a long, slim confection, Mars spokesman Ryan Bowling says, but with ads that invite you to “Pleasure yourself” in pink lettering, consumers might come to other conclusions.
The tag line on the package is “Naughty, but not that naughty.” A TV spot starts with what looks like strangers having sex in a store dressing room. Currently the candy bar can be bought only California and online, but if all goes well, Mars is hoping women will be having Flings all across the country.
Consider my eyebrow officially and disapprovingly raised.
So: eating chocolate is bad because it makes you fat, and no woman wants to be fat, which is why she should get a Fling because it won’t make you fat, and because you know that for women, not eating chocolate is totally not an option. Also, women like pink, which we already knew. That’s why you have to make everything for them pink, so they’ll know when they’re supposed to buy something! And lastly, women enjoy, um, “pleasuring themselves” with “fingers,” which isn’t exactly news but certainly interesting marketing. And not at all patronizing!
Why don’t think just change the slogan to “skinny chicks masturbate with low-fat chocolate” and get it over with? It might even add a bit of subtlety.
ETA: Sit down for this one: these things also sparkle thanks to some kind of colored, FDA approved glitter. In the fucking chocolate bar. Dear god help us all. (Thanks to Bunny Mazonas in the comments.)
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