Fast forward 6 years and I am completely, completely miserable because of it. After I got pregnant with our planned son/honeymoon baby, the honeymoon was OVER. My husband has a spotless record of control using withdrawal, which is the only reason I would recommend it.

I haven’t had an orgasm in such a long, long time. 6 years to be exact. Withdrawal ruins the connection that comes at the height of passion when your husband is suddenly ejaculating on his shirt instead of inside you. Sex has become tedious especially with a husband who doesn’t really believe in foreplay, except once every 6 months or so. Withdrawal=Glorified masturbation in my world.

I expect that there is a strong element of belief that you shouldn’t be having sex unless your married, so if you don’t have a husband, you don’t need to know NFP/FAM methods.

But also, I’d think that the more that a partner understands about the method, the more likely they are to cooperate. In general, people do better with things when they understand why, and when they feel part of the process. The difference between “you’ll be rubbering up or abstaining when I tell you” versus “we both pay attention to the chart, and know when and how we’ll be enjoying sex together.” Takes the pressure off the woman to always be the one saying “no” and and having to maintain self-control, and allows the partner to know what to expect, sexually, rather than being left frustrated or confused.

But, as my handle suggests, I’m not Catholic.

My man & I have used a combination of withdrawal & condoms for 8 years, and no pregnancies. He used it with his previous partner for 4 years. He has excellent control, and also keeps himself less “on edge” by masturbating one or more times a day on average.
Plus, far nicer to have the semen wiped off my belly or back, than have to avoid a wet spot!

He’s always used it, even with condoms, just in case of breakage. VERY rarely, he’ll come inside a condom, IF it is a safe time of month.

I pay attention to my cervical mucus. If it is clear & slippery, we use a condom, or enjoy acts other than PVI.

I used to think I’d never rely on withdrawal, but hormonal BC made me crazy/gave me major mood swings and crying; the cervical cap HURT when his penis bumped up against it, and condoms are expensive [and sometimes Really irritate my skin!]

I have had a friend who, not knowing my situation, said that women would NEVER choose withdrawal if they really had a choice, so I’ve experienced the shame, too… and I’m an educated woman.

Thanks to others for sharing their stories. I’m strongly considering an IUD, for more protection, but I’m scared, too, of the pain. Has to hurt less than a kid, though, right? ;p

It’s really irritating for people to be like, “this is my experience, therefore, let me universalize to yours as well.” Bc is a private decision, in which women make risk/benefit choices. Some people want a method that’s 99.9% effective, some are fine with 98%, 97%, or 96%. If you’re not, then pick a more effective method. If you are fine with a 4% (or 15% or 2%) chance of getting pregnant every year, fine.

No. We were taught NFP in sex ed class at my Catholic school. The (current) rationale for NFP being okay and other methods not is that NFP is “natural” where other methods are “artificial”. Why that makes a moral difference, I’m not sure.

4 out of every 100 times. how often do you have sex?

It’s not 4 out of 100 times. It’s 4 out of 100 sexually active women over a yearlong period.

Don’t Catholics still do the rhythm method, which doesn’t work worth a hill of beans, rather than modern NFP/FAM, which does? I mean, the last Catholic justification for why rhythm method is okay is basically that it doesn’t fucking work, so it’s not really non-procreative sex.

I have never received a satisfactory answer on the theology of it, but the FAM/NFP is okay by the Catholic Church. When my friend asked her provider about that method, she was referred to a nurse at a local Catholic hospital who runs the most comprehensive counseling session on how to use the method in our metro area. I have also in Latin America come across women doing community work for Catholic groups who teach women how to use NFP/FAM.

Again, I have asked many people to explain to me why that’s okay but not condoms, and I have never received a good answer. The answer seems to be that it’s working with your body and that you’re still “open” to having a child (which technically would be true of any method if the woman believed she wouldn’t have an abortion if she got pregnant, and you can argue that the pill works with your body, so, like I said, less than satisfactory, but I’m not Catholic).

Obviously, any women here who use FAM with condoms during the fertile period and a plan to have an abortion if they get pregnant are not doing it the way the Church had in mind.