(The best things in life are short).
It’s Day 3 of Feministe’s Next Top Troll Season 5, and we’re kicking it off with two of my favorites. I’ve always been a fan of short-but-sweet notes, and these comments truly illustrate just how fabulous a single sentence can be. Troll comments below the fold.
lickmyballs@yahoo.com, who lists his website as http://shoveituptheoldwazzobitch.com:
Stop shaving your pussies and you lil bitches won’t be so irritated all the time!
vs.
Chad, from Iowa Supreme Court Rules in Favor of Same-Sex Marriage:
I smell fish.
Lick has gone to so much more effort. He’s trying to help us, poor lad. He’s concerned for our comfort.
Chad, bless his malfunctioning olfactory nerves, for his simplicity. Ol’ Lick, on the other hand, packs in more insults in so many ways–use of his email name and spurious website address. His message? Way off base. Remember, we are the Hirsute Sisters of the Apocalypse. We don’t shave!
As much as I really, really want to throw my vote in for old lickmyballs@yahoo.com, Chad still takes the cake for me.
I have to go with lick. I don’t see how Chad can smell things over the interwebs, but I do see the logic to lick’s statement.
Well, gee, lick, not if you use shaving cream. C’mon now.
Chad’s not bad, but a little too perfunctory.
lickmyballs really crams a lot more in (so to speak).
I have to go with lickmyballs for his(?) multiple layers of dumbitude. It’s like a symphony of cognitive dissonance.
Lick, for the underlying impotent rage.
Jeez, Chad, get with the times. The fish comment is so 20th century. Lick is all hip with how the modern chicks spend their personal hygiene time.
Lick is concerned about us and our possible irritation. He’s just thinking of our comfort! Maybe he (?) just thinks all bitches would be more comfortable in their natural state? He’s a lover of being o natural?
Oh, oh, I know! It’s succinct argument against the idea that woman should be hairless
I’m confused – I thought we feminists were all hairy? Which is it!?
I have to go with Chad. He manages to tell us so much about himself and his attitudes in an elegant, three-word, declarative sentence. Awesome!
i voted for lick because he is definitely trying to insult us. Chad is whining randomly about the fact his house/appt./cave is so filthy.
I agree with Laurie. It’s not often that so very much is communicated so clearly in so few words.
i voted for lick.
the photo rocks, btw! not too often you see men wearing hotshorts!
What GallingGalla said, re the photo.
The thing I love most about these contests is the imagery Jill chooses to match the comments, not the comments themselves.
Ha, glad you all appreciate the photo illustrations. I spend a lot of time google-imaging :-)
And GG and octo, I was VERY pleased when I came across this one. I have a weird thing for boys in short-shorts.
I’m really torn. On one side I am glad that lick wants us to rebel against a society that wants to infantilize women, on the other, I don’t think that was the message.
Chad’s message is also unclear, especially given the article it was posted on. ut then again it’s so retro and a total throwback to middle school, Chad it is.
Chad. Short and sweet.
Wait wait, I thought all us man-hating raging bull dyke feminazis were hairy? Gotta give this one to lickmyballs! Plus I’m pretty sure Chad is just smelling his own upper lip. Smell can not travel over teh innernetz. Science!
lickmyballs, definitely. I love his name so.
since i was under the impression that we women were trimming the bushes for the visual pleasure of the men in our lives (among other perks), i have to appreciate ‘lick’ for setting me straight. you heard him ladies, put down the razors and let it grow!