Who doesn’t love it when the trolls tell you how to do things right? Feministe’s Next Top Troll continues, this time with more kind advice for us silly bitches and illogical cunts. Troll commentary below the fold.
Paraponera:
Yay, another pointless march (in April, lolol)! If you really want to take back the night, you should pop some testosterone supplements, pump some iron, learn some Krav Maga, and start packing heat. Silly bitches.
vs.
Jason, from Donate to Women in Afghanistan:
So you want to donate to women in afghanistan, for what, to turn women over there into a bunch of self obsessed, materialistic cunts like the women in the US. Or maybe you just want women there to have choice, so that instead of arranged marriages, they can choose to get with an abusive jerk who beats the crap out of them, so they can run crying to the police and court system in order to create more anti-man laws. You cunts are so illogical that you deserve to be beaten, raped and stoned!
Jason takes trollishness above and beyond!
Jason is obviously the crazier… but Paraponera’s “silly bitches!” line just makes me think of the Trix rabbit saying “Silly wimmenz… safety is for men!”
I found Jason’s comment amusing, until I got to the last sentence. Then it wasn’t funny anymore. And I always vote funny in these contests. So Paraponera definitely wins.
Jason wins for assuming that the only possible fate for a woman is to be the victim of abuse.
Should we go find Jason’s wife?
Both entries bring the crazy, but I’m going to have to go with Jason and his men’s rights lunacy.
I voted for Jason for his incredible lack of logic. He thinks its illogical for women to NOT want to be beaten and raped. He thinks laws that make it illegal for men to beat and rape are “anti-man laws”. He thinks that, because of our illogic, we should all be beaten and raped.
My head is spinning.
it was “anti-man laws” that got me…
I’m with Cara. I was having fun about what the guy would do if he *did* meet up with a packin’ krav magna expert with the wrong set of balls.
The troll was scary.
I had to vote Jason for the “logic” of “women getting more rights = women get beaten more.” And of course, no woman in an arranged marriage has EVER been beaten, amirite? (Arranged marriages mean SUNSHINE AND PUPPIES. That must be why so many women I talk to who were/are in arranged marriages hate their husbands so much … they don’t like sunshine and puppies!)
Wow, this one was close. I had to go with Jason in the end, simply because he does such a great job of dissing his own gender on top of all the misogyny. The guy gets points for being an equal-opportunity moron.
Jason, because of his contempt for women who run crying to the police from abusive jerks.
My vote is for Jason, who clearly isn’t playing with a full deck and has some serious hostility issues with women. Find a therapist, dude!
This is a toughie for me. Paraponera was at least trying to be helpful, in a deranged way. Jason, on the other hand, strikes me as the kind of guy we’re going to see on the news one day, in one of those reports where they give his middle name.
I have to go with Par on the same grounds as Cara: Amusement is better than sheer, seething bile.
this is another one where I can’t vote because neither of them are funny, just stupid and trying to hard to be insulting.
I voted for Paraponera because he made me laugh. But it was close. I appreciated Jason’s theory that we women choose abusive jerks who beat us so that we have grounds to pass anti-man laws. Abused women are clearly carrying out a feminist plot to take over the world!
I voted for Jason because he most made me want to jump through the computer and strangle him. And that’s what a good troll does. Riles you up.
Jason, all the way! He is the terrifying, if-it-weren’t-so-scary-I’d-laugh truth behind trolldom: there are some crazy people out there, and some of them visit feministe.
But of course you can’t trust my opinion… because I’m probably just picking the jerkiest guy possible. You know, because I’m a woman and Jill has foolishly given me the power to vote, even though she really should know I’ll make the wrong choice.
I had to vote Jason for the “logic” of “women getting more rights
I voted for Jason for his incredible lack of logic.
Logic?!? He don’t need not stinkin’ logic. He just knows these things about women – it’s a gift bestowed by his magical, super special peen.
Jason’s cavalier disregard for question marks gave him an early edge, but I’m with the folks turned off by his last sentence. I prefer my trolls with a side dish of the chuckles, and there was quite a lot of merriment to be had with Paraponera’s comment. There’s even laughing out loud OUT LOUD.
Ohh, teh Crazy was running high here… I gave it to Jason, though, on account of his inclusion of stoning in his list of appropriate punishments for having the audacity to be female. It’s always nice to see a troll kickin’ it old school!
Jason? or John Walke Lindh?
Bitter Scribe, I think you might be on to something about Jason ended up on a news cast whre their middle ame is used (if they haven’t already).
Paraponera, because s/he reminds of two jackass libertarian I know in real life.
Voted for Jason.
His comments are just sickening. I need to go vomit for about 3 hours.
Can you number the FNTT rounds? I don’t want to miss any of them.
Anti-man law…wasn’t that a Miller Lite commercial?
/me stares in utter horror at Jason’s comment
Gods, sweet gods of all that is holy and good! He’s the anti-feminist equivalent of the Most horrific nightmare-train-wreck EVAR.
I’m sensing some bitterness born of experience–some woman who wasn’t obsessed with him (hence self-absorbed) and liked being able to buy nice things (hence materialistic) hooked up with someone (other than him) who was abusive.
I’m also guessing she wouldn’t have done much better with him if he thinks she should be beaten, raped and stoned. Guess who gets to do the beating, raping, and stoning?
Jason, dude, get help. Seriously. You’re not well.
Jason probably met his wife via a mail-order ad.
really tough call, but i’m going to go with paraponera for the slight against april.
I think maybe this one deserved a trigger warning. Somehow going so far as to illustrate how he’d like to see women raped and stoned doesn’t strike me as the sort of thing I can just laugh off.
I was all set to vote for Jason until the last sentence, but even though this is a contest of trollishness, I cannot actually bring myself to vote for someone who would say such a thing.
Second on the trigger warning, I wasn’t expecting to see something like that.
Jason, for using tortured logic to argue that women are illogical.
I went for paraponera – like several other commenters, I feel Jason’s last sentence went from delightful illogicality to sheer viciousness and that’s not something I find entertaining.
I guess if first prize of the competition was to spend eternity in a straitjacket, then I would vote for Jason to win outright (because he seriously needs to); but since 1st prize is to be the most laughed-at asshat, I have to go with para
I like Jason because he’s protecting Afghanistani women from freedom and bodily integrity and voting rights.
Hm, ok, some random thoughts…
You actually read those comments??
I’m honored. I guess…
I should have posted as ‘Freddy’.
Jason will easily win this contest as he’s a thoroughbred troll and loon, while I’m just a pseudotroll (and only because Jill laid a curse upon me; I used to be a man FFS!).
[...] 3. I say we take off and nuke the site from orbit. It’s the only way to be sure. [...]
Wow, close tie there. I am afraid I may have been sitting next to Jason at Panera yesterday, so I picked him. He pointed at a teenage girl’s shorts and said how that was the cause of the Holocaust memorial shooting. A wha huh?
I actually stopped and answered him, since I was packing up to leave and we had chatted briefly already, since we were sharing an electric plug. I said there was an uptick in violence because of the election of Obama, and went into a short explanation of my view on the issue. It was weird, almost like being on a website and having a troll comment. I don’t normally have people randomly tell me girls’ bare legs (in South Florida in the summer) caused domestic terrorism.
Paraponera gets my vote. I have a soft spot for wannabe helpful trolls.
i dont know… paraponera had me going for a sec with his(?) silly ‘lolol’s, but jason gets the overall win for his consideration for those women in afghanistan. silly women, why should they even want to be like us stupid bitches with our choices?
while jason does an excellent job of making me want to punch him in the face (possibly after i’ve followed paraponera’s advice and gotten myself some krav maga training), i have to give it to paraponera for bringing me to the realization that it’s just plain silly of me to think i should be able to go out at night unarmed and not growing facial hair (pop some testosterone?) and take for granted that i shouldn’t be raped. you’re right paraponera, my meek feminine physique is just asking for sexual violence.