We Are The REAL Deal: http://watrd.wordpress.com/

http://ballastexistenz.autistics.org/

It’s really been not 101 sites as much as sites where discussion is happening that have been the most educational for me.

I don’t even remember when I first read BrownFemiPower’s blog but I know that was pretty much the starting point, that and the blogs (including yours, Bint) linked in the sidebar. I feel so grateful for the manners-lessons that came from that reading, for one thing–the importance of linking back and giving credit, how to show respect by staying on topic and listening better, how to just sit with difficult ideas for a while before running your mouth. (I still struggle with that one a lot, but at least I know to try now) Also, the force and personalness with which BFP and others talked about global issues like what was going on in Oaxaca. It really made me think more deeply about how people, I don’t know, how people matter, and how terrible and urgent anti-racist struggles are.

The work of the INCITE! Collective, Make/Shift magazine, A Woman’s Ecdysis…and many more that I’m not thinking of right now.

I cannot even begin to convey how grateful I am for the opportunity to read all this stuff and to see discussions play out among WOC and allies.

Here in Minneapolis there are some good folks doing Native solidarity work and some other good folks doing queer and trans activism who have educated me and given me access to events that have been amazingly educational and, er, amazing. I also have a friend who has gone out of her way to discuss class with me openly and honestly and has put up with some dumb stuff that I’ve said on several occasions.

All the people who have said, “you have to take action and actually do something, not just talk” have also been really important. I often think of blogs I’ve read when I’m trying not to be lazy and trying not to skip out on events that I’m nervous about attending or work that I’m nervous about doing. Again, it’s not like I’m claiming to be all awesome now; it’s just really helpful to have something to tell myself when I’m feeling like I don’t want to write the article or have the conversation.

As someone Just Some Trans Guy said above, Googling is a good alternative to derailing. When you see something new, introducing yourself to the rudimentary concept through Googling or checking out the related Wikipedia page can help a lot.

Reading comments and related posts are also helpful. I’m new to disability issues, for instance, so every time I come across a post on disability issues I make a point of reading anything the OP links to and anything people link to in the comments. On a related note, I think there should be an emphasis on just reading, not commenting, if you’re not involved in the issue at hand. I find that not commenting forces me to just listen, not speak, and it allows the voices of the people most connected to the issue at hand to control the discussion.

I also think it’s important to take what you learn on the internet and apply it to the way you relate to people in real life. I’ve found that if you open yourself up, and make a point to put your biases and privilege aside when choosing who to interact with, your group of friends will naturally become more diverse and that goes a long way to changing your perspective and helping others feel more comfortable in otherwise potentially hostile social circumstances.

This doesn’t mean you go around preaching and seeking attention, but rather that you take advantage of teachable moments – when someone’s saying something offensive, question it, but be willing to yield the floor to any member of the marginalized group at hand. It’s a fine line, because you don’t want to speak for others, but anyone can say things like “I’d prefer if you don’t use that word – I think it is sexist/racist/homophobic/etc, because _________. Could you say _______ instead?” (if it’s a word that’s the problem) or “Why do you think that?” (if it’s a concept – just asking a series of polite and genuine questions can be an effective way to unpack privilege or challenge stereotypes.)

Unfortunately, this isn’t particularly just– it’s not fair that we expect members of oppressed groups to teach priviledged folks to not be jerks. One way to get around this is for people to speak up in support of (but not for) members of other groups. If I can be an ally for suggesting that somebody might reconsider what I perceive as ableist comments, I can encourage an ignorant person to read and learn, while simultaneously not forcing a differently abled person from having to defend their humanity for the n-th time.

I really like what just some trans guy said. It’s important to look at things with less of a “me-focused mindset.” In my experience, it can be really difficult, too, especially if you’re used to focusing on ways that you’re personally oppressed, or if you’re generally ignorant. Empathy is key, and I don’t know how work on that aside from reading widely and learning to listen to and value other people’s experiences. Like all things, not being a jerk takes practice.

As for understanding different sorts of -isms and how they intersect, I have a BA in Women & Gender Studies, and mostly learned about the concepts as part of getting my degree. I am still fairly new to this blogging thing. :\