I think there are different kinds of prejudice- as in the topless dancer or pro domme takes slightly less crap than folk who actually have sex for money (escorting/porn), but they ALL take crap. Iguess it depends on the people really. I know some folk were shocked with me dancing, but mortified about the porn thing.

I usually don’t tell anyone that I’ve worked as a “companion.” Even my really progressive friends who are okay with dancing would feel iky about that. My closest friends know, but we don’t often talk about it. I feel like they find it distasteful. And I’m so tired of being analyzed, when there’s really nothing worth analyzing there.

Also, I have three kids. One of whom was taken from me by my ex and his family for a year because they found out I was employed by an escort agency. I actually signed over custody to my ex instead of facing a judge — it was just too dehumanizing and I felt it was obvious that NOBODY was on my side. Bad time. It’s taken me three years and finally I’m starting to heal. (btw, I have standard visitaion with my child, now, and my ex and I are starting to work things out.)

The argument that being a sex worker is OBVIOUSLY DANGEROUS to a child is so pervasive. I hardly ever tell anyone the real details of my story because I know that all the injustices I’ve been through would be washed over, and the other side would be instantly justified in any horrible thing they did (including completely alienating and cutting off a 2yr old from a parent, something that many child psychologists will label as child abuse). This has happened: “Well, I’m sorry that happened to you, but I understand their point of view…” WHAT?! … I’ve just given up looking for support. I’ve got my mom and partner and that’s all I need.

Ren, have you noticed different kinds of prejudice re: marriage in different areas of sex work? For instance, do you see a comparable stigma against prostitutes and porn performers who are married/have children? Is it generally more acceptable for one’s spouse to dance in a topless club than an all nude club? etc.?

That which applies here surely applies in your situation. I’m glad the Mr. E, for the most part, rises to the situation. I wish his co-workers and friends would do so as well. It’s not that hard to do really, once you get used to the idea that society isn’t all that sharp at gauging what is important.

Then again, if society had any sort of sensible values, you’d be appreciated for being industrious and productive. It’s the fucked up polemics that deeply discounts (and often parades it’s contempt for) sex that is half the problem here.

What the hell do they think zie is doing with the money, then? Wearing it? Eating it? I can see that kind of law getting passed, nominally to prevent pimps, and then, as usual, being used to hassle the prostitutes themselves.

Spending it on a drug habit, probably. The stereotypes are pretty well represented in the minds of non-sex workers influencing law.

It’s just not expected that sex workers have partners and children (and if they DO have children, the kids are probably neglected) or educations or mortgages… etc.