Okay then. Last eve, well, technically early morning, the Renegade happened upon a post which asserted that all “sex workers” who claim to love their jobs must be in denial. You know, sex workers (no quotes please) who do anything but claim to hate and despise their jobs hear that a whole lot. This, true believers, pisses me off something fierce. And, as usual, this statement was framed with the assertion that we poor deluded sex workers have no idea how men- namely those who deal with sex workers in a business sense- feel/think/speak about us when we are not in their presence. We’ll assume, for the sake of this post, that only men hire sex workers (which hey, totally makes sense seeing as 90% of the people who hire me for pro-domme stuff are women, but lets not fuck with the majority and overriding theme here…)
So yes. Denial and we have no idea what those men think/feel/say about us…
Uh huh. Wanna bet? You see, as a sex worker, and well gee, an actual living, breathing, thinking human being capable of listening, reading, comprehension and all those other things I would have to disagree a great deal with both of those assertions. I figure I, as a sex worker, know my own mind, thoughts and feelings about what goes on in my life- both on and off the job- better than some observer from the peanut gallery and thus, know better than they do if I am or if I am not in denial, and secondly, I am well aware of what not only many of the men who deal with women in the sex industry in a business sense- but gee- a whole lot of people- think of sex workers. Hell, I do get “fan mail” occasionally, dudes are not always real shy about just saying what they think of you, and why yes, since I can read I have subjected myself to the comments made in posts about people like Jenna Jameson, so on, so forth…it’s pretty evident what people think, and no, gee, a lot of it is not flattering in the least. Shoot, you can even be murdered and people will still talk a whole lot of ugly smack about you. But as for the what do they think, and the denial us silly whores are in…
Hell yeah, let me break it all down, just so you know.
When one is a sex worker, they will often be thought of in the following ways:
-A poor idiot dupe who is deluded or in denial.
-A poor idiot with no other possible options.
-A poor idiot who is in the business because they lack education, common sense, self esteem and desperately desire attention, validation, and love.
-A greedy, gold-digging home-wrecking whore.
-An amoral hedonist. (Okay, I am possibly guilty of those leanings; you may stone me at dawn).
-A fake, inhuman creature deserving of the worst possible kinds of pain and death.
-A skank, slut, dirty whore, blah blah blah.
Often, men who deal with sex workers (any type, across the huge not-monolith of the business) may think of sex workers as any/all of the above, and:
They may not “think” of us at all, any more so than they would think of a plumber they had paid for a service. And believe it or not, why yes, some of those people might even oh, like us as people, enjoy our company, so on, so forth. Are they the minority? Why yep, I actually happen to think so, but do they exist? Why yes, they do.
But, little secret here, and sure enough, I am just speaking for me, one sex worker, of course others are free to chime in as they like…
Personally, between you and me, dear Internet…I do not care what they think of me. Simply put, I fail to care if they think of me as witty and charming or a worthless dirty slut. I am not paid to care what they think. These people are not within the circle of people in my life whose opinions of me matter at all. I do not think sex workers are any more subject to caring about what their customers think of them as people than anyone in any other business is. If one were a help desk operator and someone called them a moron, or a bitch, or whatever else do you think the average help desk operator would be crushed by this and have their self esteem reduced to rubble, or do you think they would hang up the phone, say “what an asshole” to the coworker next to them, who would probably nod, then they would go about their day and life and whatnot? Why would sex workers be any different, really? Sure, we deal with assholes. Like everyone else in the world. We also deal with people who are not assholes. Like everyone else in the world.
But wait, I know, it will be coming! With all I’ve said here- about the horrible way we can be and are treated- by everyone from asshole customers to “concerned citizens”, how is it possible to say a sex worker can like their job?
Well, personally, I am fond of the money and the way it allows me to set my own hours. I generally like most of my coworkers. I do dig my work attire way more than business casual (except the spiky heels, I do not like spiky heels, more of a platform gal myself). I absolutely admit without fear or guilt that I love making my own porn, you know, stuff that is depictions of what I like sexually and is a creative process for me and all. I like not having to deal with the whole corporate world thing. I love not being at a desk, in a cubicle, in a building with no windows. In fact, the whole idea of that sort of a working life is enough to make me want to put a gun to my head. I would have to be in serious denial to say I liked or wanted that in my life. Some people do love it, I am sure, but I am not those people. Likewise, I know there are people who would hate or would have to be in denial to like what I do for a living…but see, there’s that catch again, that peeve I was talking about before. We’re all different, so why would we ever be expected to like the same things? I happen to like my job, and of the jobs available to me, I prefer it to all others. Hell, I have a friend who absolutely loves his job. Quit a good position at an accounting firm to start up his own company and everything. What does he do now? Professional crime scene clean up. Would everyone want to do that job? I seriously doubt it. Is he in denial that he likes it? I sure do not think so. When I quit the sex biz, maybe I will go work for him!
That’s not smoke and mirrors, humans, that’s just the way it is. No denying it.
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