Comments on: It’s Not About Me

By: Linksplosion! Parenting edition « Zero at the Bone

Linksplosion! Parenting edition « Zero at the Bone — Tue, 22 Sep 2009 11:36:37 +0000

[...] we have It’s Not About Me by Jay, guest posting at Feministe. Because a child’s choices and safety are vastly more [...]

By: JMegan

JMegan — Mon, 14 Sep 2009 19:33:29 +0000

Beautiful post. Thanks so much for articulating all this – I too am putting it in my “parenting file” for when my daughter is old enough to need it!

By: Aoede

Aoede — Sat, 12 Sep 2009 15:43:40 +0000

I believe that, like liberterianism, this is one of those things that can only work if all parties involved are suitably educated.

By: Melissa

Melissa — Fri, 04 Sep 2009 20:19:51 +0000

This has apparently been said many times but again- you seem to be a truly great parent who understands the reality of teenage sexuality. Namely that it exists and should be treated in a healthy and open-minded way.
My parents never talked about sex with me in any way. Fortunately I was smart enough to seek birth control on my own and at 21 I still pay for it out of pocket to avoid using their health insurance because anything to do with sex is so taboo in my household. It still saddens me that even though I am very close to my family I feel I have to hide so much from them.
I understand it is difficult for parents to acknowledge these issues but the necessity of it is immeasurable.

By: Something for our daughters « blue milk

Something for our daughters « blue milk — Fri, 04 Sep 2009 14:20:00 +0000

[...] that Jay from Two Women Blogging was recently guest posting at Feministe and oh gosh she can write a fucking good post. Never assume. First rule of life. If you meet me, don’t assume that just because I have a [...]

By: Blogwhoring « random babble…

Blogwhoring « random babble… — Fri, 04 Sep 2009 08:57:13 +0000

[...] I am sure I have linked to this before, but I love this post by Jay: It’s Not About Me. [...]

By: Amanda

Amanda — Wed, 02 Sep 2009 19:00:06 +0000

I think I speak for all daughters when I thank mothers like you!
Knowledge is power!

By: JayJay

JayJay — Tue, 01 Sep 2009 23:07:24 +0000

You sound just like my Mum. =] Mums like you are amazing. I wish every girl had someone like you and my mum in their lives, It makes growing up alot more fun.
Good luck =] .xxx

By: Jill

Jill — Mon, 31 Aug 2009 00:43:01 +0000

Beautiful, jay. My mother was like this: open to discussing sex and sexuality, emphasizing making responsible decisions, and noting that she was not entitled to know anything I didn’t want her to know. She told me that she would take me to planned parenthood or our own doctor, but that I could also go myself and she didn’t have to know. I ended up being pretty private about sex with her, for whatever reason. When I did become sexually active, in college, I didn’t tell her. But I did go on birth control, and of course now we talk about it. If I had been sexually active in high school and had gotten pregnant, I wouldn’t have wanted to tell her. Not because she was a bad parent or judgmental,but because I was a perfectionist and a Good Kid who would have been devastated by the prospect of disappointing my parents. Sometimes, no matter how open you are with your kids, their personalities or insecurities are going to keep them from being totally open with you. The best thing for kids like that – for a kid like I was – is the knowledge that they are loved and supported regardless, and that the decision to keep some things private is not in itself a disappointment.

This piece really is lovely. Thank you for it.

By: Julie

Julie — Sat, 29 Aug 2009 22:21:05 +0000

I love this Jay. It really emphasizes everything I would want to say to the people in my daughter’s life. She’s only 5 now but I know that she’ll be a teenager before she knows it and while I hope that she will always come to me if she needs me, I know she may not feel comfortable with it. I just want her to have a trusted adult she can turn to.