Hello, Class.

I’d say that the feminist revolution has benefited men, at least in the US, because it still prioritizes traditional men’s roles. The whole revolution has been about getting women into men’s roles. And that’s really important, because that’s where the power is, but it means that the idea that all of these masculine-coded things are MORE IMPORTANT is completely supported by these attitudes. It means that all of the shit that women are still expected to want and do (and that they are trained from childhood to want and do) are not seen as completely necessary or valuable (or else we’d tell our little boys that when they grow up, they should try to focus more on their children, or encourage smart little boys to become teachers).

Which men, which women, what movement, what’s happiness, what’s grief, who decides, yadda, yadda yadda…
All I see is an empty question that isn’t really a question just a lazy meme. Wash, rinse, repeat.

I’d phrase it differently – the more women gain, the more they are able to express grievances with and/or the broader their perceived range of things to be angry about.

Women have gained educationally, careerwise, and in enough power, as Rebecca says, to be able to express grievancces.

But, in the trenches, er, homes, I’d say men have benefitted the most. Nowadays, a man can have a wife with a career and bringing home a lot of bacon (though not quite as much as he can), plus treat his home as his 1950’s castle in which his wife does all the cooking, cleaning and childcare because all that work is so totally unimportant – to him, unless she makes him miserable by expecting him to do his share…. For her, it’s a second shift of work. For him, it’s probably still easier to divorce her if she actually expects equality in the home and find a more compliant woman to replace her.

Back in the 1950’s, lip service was given to the importance of homemaking and child rearing. Now, homemaking is made invisible as if it doesn’t matter – or, on TV, it’s portrayed as fun instead of drudgery, like on a Swiffer commercial.

The double shift that women have as a burden, benefits men. Men get more free time in this arrangement. From this perspective, the conditions of female slavery in the home have become worse, at the same time as offering women more opportunities to live on their own. Does it balance out? I don’t know.

As usual, I see the sphere of women shaped more like an amoeba: gains in one area are compensated for by losses in another. It’s still a much smaller share of the world than men have, and the patriarchy has its ways of making sure women’s borders are constricted, one way or another.

Well, the more you expect to be treated like a human being, the more you’re likely to be pissed about all the ways in which you aren’t. If you’re still fighting for legal recognition that your lady-job shouldn’t have to depend on fucking your man-boss, you’re unlikely to have enough energy or ire left over to complain about the fact that, even if you were theoretically your male coworkers’ equal, you’d still be expected to make the coffee and tidy up after meetings. If the gains made back in the day had actually leveled the playing field in one fell swoop and reworked everyone’s attitude towards the dreaded feminine overnight…well, Dowd would have to find a new schtick.

Two not-so-secrets of the universe that far too many women fail to learn/accept.
1. There will always be a dozen fires burning out of control in your life – Focus on what is truly important and let the rest burn.
2. If people/society toss bullshit at you, throw it right back

My mother and a couple of my “uncles” are masters of those rules. My parents might of showed up a total of 2 times to “parent/teacher” events, my third grade teacher use to ask me if I even had a mother, she wanted to talk to her about something, mum kept blowing her off.
It is the “Why” that is important, mother knew if she *allowed* herself to be caught up in school drama, she would be even more over extended than she was, and end up miserable.

When I got older, like 12, I was in charge of house cleaning, if it got too much for me, the ‘rents would hire a cleaning service that I’d supervise. I took over mother’s garden too, as she is ummm close to retirement age.

Both my parents are professionals, they make good money, why should mum and dad work 50+ hours , often on odd schedules, AND keep up the house, when they could “offload” it.

Entertaining, Americans are rather silly; they entertain in their homes, we entertain out most of the time, when we did have open houses, they were catered and the cleaning service showed up the next day.

Granted it is a professional+ class existence, but that is who Dowd is talking about in her article.

Contrast this to my SO’s mother, who is middle class and has a 40 hour J-O-B, 3 grown children she frets about incessantly , a traditional husband who doesn’t do squat around the house, etc. She cooks, cleans, did the school thing, active in her church, bleh bleh bleh. Of course, she is a miserable human being; she is a mistress of what does not matter.

Women need to drop the second shift, and stop getting involved in community affairs. If those things are truly important,the guys/powers-that-be will pick up the slack, making them weaker and women stronger. Or we will be watching what’s left of pathetic 1950esq society burn to the ground, I’ll bring marshmallows =(^ . ^ )=

“Maureen Dowd writes lesbians out of this column – with all her marriage, men/women, household chores centering. We exist, Maureen! And could we (gasp) be happier than straight women? I would like to see a research study on that!”

She’s also leaving out single women/mothers. While I might be saddled with the housework simply because I refuse to allow a man into my home, I am quite happy just because of the fact that I can make the choice to not allow a man into my home and to have the luxury of living a life independent of a man.

Yes, I get pissed off about the state of world. But that fact has nothing to do with feminism. That fact has to do with society’s constant refusal to treat women of any class or race as fully human. Feminism has absolutely nothing to do with why I’m so often full of anger and frustration. Patriarchal society, which is exactly what feminists are trying to fight, is what makes me livid.

On principle, I prefer not to discuss anything relating to Maureen Dowd, because (IMHO, of course) she’s a hack who has done absolutely nothing worthwhile for the liberal movement. However, since this prompt is a no-brainer, I’ll get my commenting on.

1) The more rights you have, the easier it is to ask for even more. As in, there is less of a chance you will be laughed off the stage or, you know, verbally or physically attacked.

2) Feminism is about women, not men. So I don’t really care how the ‘revolution’ has affected men except in relation to how said men now affect women. Whether or not they’ve progressed more than women does not concern me in the least. If, however, we’re discussing how men’s rights relative to women’s actually impact women’s lives… then I could give you more than a non-answer. In short, wrong question, Maureen.

The thing people are missing is the age component. The “research” (using word advisedly) at HuffPo suggests women are unhappier AS WE AGE. Probably because they will not stop fussing at us to look young, and have upped the ante. Now we are expected to diet, use botox and collagen and look good forever. This is impossible to achieve after a certain age without considerable anxiety and anguish. Women in past generations were never expected to be “matrons” and look hot.

Still shocked that one of those nasty “fashion” TV-round-ups criticized Jessica Lange for showing her old-lady arms at the Emmys. Never mind that she won! (They didn’t even fucking MENTION that!) But they did mention her (likely) plastic surgery, while sneering that her arms still look bad. Jesus Christ, she’s 64, has two Oscars… is there NO ESCAPE for ANYONE?

No matter how well-achieved a woman is, no matter that she has had her faced stretched to the limit already, dammit, just look at those ARMS!

Infuriating.