Since anti-choice Democrats (and Republicans) morally object to abortion care being covered by insurance — even insurance that you pay for yourself, where federal funds are separated out — I am creating a running list of Things to Which I Morally Object, all of which are in some way tangentially funded by the federal government. When these things have their federal subsidies stripped, I will shut up about abortion coverage.
1. Pepsi. Pepsi is disgusting. No self-respecting soda drinker drinks Pepsi. Everyone knows that Coke is more delicious; also, Diet Dr. Pepper.
2. Fox News. Enough said.
3. Everybody Loves Raymond. Not a funny show. In fact, it is possibly the most annoying show of all time, and it stars anti-choicer Patricia Heaton to boot.
4. Dasani. Who possibly believes that is what water tastes like? The only thing worse than Dasani is Aquafina, which is actually New Jersey tap water.
5. High-waisted jeans. No one looks good with a long pancake butt. Also, low-rise jeans; no one looks good with their crack hanging out. Butts are lovely things. Why must we do them such disservice?
6. Aerosmith. Just a terrible, terrible band. The worst, really.
7. John Mayer. Annoying, condescending, and thinks he’s deep. A bad combination.
8. Swedish Fish. Who invented those things? Ugh.
9. Long shorts on men. I really like men’s legs. Love them, actually. And I think it’s an abomination that the go-to male short is the cargo short and other below-the-knee bottoms. Really, dudes, mid-thigh is where it’s at (or shorter, if you have really spectacular gams).
10. Uggs. I have heard that Australia is a great nation — they have lovely accents which instantly make anyone sound like more fun, good ways of spelling things (love those extra “u”s), and some of the cutest animals on the planet. But if everyone else can hate America for unleashing McDonalds on the world, I can have a small bitter spot in my heart for Oz because of Uggs. Why, Oz, Why?
Add your Moral Objections in the comments.