Acc. to the OED, the term came into popularity in ‘67, when it meant, “An unattractive coed.” So, setting aside whether the douche is a vaginal or anal one, the shift in the terms meaning from an insult used against women to an insult used against men is rooted in both misogyny and homophobia. To call a man a douche is to call a man an ugly woman.

…not really, though. I mean, maybe that’s what some people in 1967 meant, but I have NEVER heard that definition of “douchebag.” And if no one understands it that way anymore, then no, to call a man a douche is not to call a man an ugly woman, anymore than calling a man a “fag” is calling him a pile of sticks.

Acc. to the OED, the term came into popularity in ‘67, when it meant, “An unattractive coed.” So, setting aside whether the douche is a vaginal or anal one, the shift in the terms meaning from an insult used against women to an insult used against men is rooted in both misogyny and homophobia. To call a man a douche is to call a man an ugly woman.

And given that, as Jill notes, a fairly large portion of the female population regularly douches (and thus doesn’t recognize vaginas as clean and douches as damaging), and given that we live in a homophobic society in which anal sex is still largely a taboo and part of a slew of homophobic insults aimed against men, it’s hard to see how the word can be used as a feminist insult rather than a feminist’s insult.

“I am not completely enamored of this person.” Or ‘cockstain.’ Gotta love ‘cockstain.’

… And now I kind of want to make out with you, Norbizness. I mean, uh, “I very much enjoyed your witty comment on this blog thread. I would like to show my appreciation of said witty comment in a completely non-threatening, tactful, polite manner.”

I totally agree with everything you say. I’ve been trying to come to a way of saying the same thing without sounding like a condescending English major. It all depends on how strong each of the multiple meanings of words are. When they are both about as prevelent in modern meaning, and one of those meanings is insulting to people other than the person you mean to insult, don’t use it. But when one meaning has fallen wayyy behind…

Obviously, that point hasn’t yet come for words like “moron” when people like Kowalski* still feel sensitive about them (or “retard,” which is a word that I desperately, desperately hate). But if 90 percent of the people you might encounter associate the word “douchebag” with tanning-bed tans and Ed Hardy shirts and sunglasses inside and the word has almost entirely gone out of use in terms of personal-care items, is it worth it to rail against something that can also be interpreted like Jill said (and is, for me, a really satisfying insult)?

*Kowalski, I tried to find some way to say that that didn’t sound dismissive and disrespectful, and I couldn’t think of one, so please know that I didn’t intend for it to sound that way.