Mothers, be good to your daughters: Keep them the eff away from John Mayer

Regular readers know how I feel about John Mayer.* In case there was any doubt as to why John Mayer is such a horrific human being — in addition to his horrific music and horrific rape-y comments to a female journalist and his general annoyingness and his lack of talent and his seemingly endless misogyny — allow me to point you to his latest Rolling Stone interview. Including shirtless cover photo, showcasing his butt-ugly tattoos and six-inch-tall hair. And who doesn’t love sleeve tattoos? I love sleeve tattoos! Yet John Mayer may have just ruined them for me, because I can’t stop picturing him lounging in his Costco sweatpants** with that slack-jaw look on his face opining about pitching tents on vaginas (I am not kidding, read the link).

For the love of Christ, John Mayer, PLEASE GO AWAY.

UPDATED to say that this was so much hotter when Gavin Rossdale did it in 1996. God he was great in my middle-school years. (thanks, Ann).

**Yes, I own those sweatpants too. But I am not on the cover of Rolling Stone. I am blogging. In my bed. Alone.

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30 comments for “Mothers, be good to your daughters: Keep them the eff away from John Mayer

  1. January 21, 2010 at 12:59 am

    That’s enough, John Mayer. Ugh.

  2. Hinemoana
    January 21, 2010 at 1:10 am

    I’m new to Feministe and had no idea who thet Mayer guy was so I checked the links… and read the Entertainment interview AND its comments. I feel like throwing up the memory.

  3. Manju
    January 21, 2010 at 2:48 am

    I think I can abandon my contrarian ways and get down with this John Mayer hate thing. Count me in.

  4. piny
    January 21, 2010 at 5:32 am


    Didn’t we discuss this, Jill? You’re supposed to put a “Warning: JOHN MAYER” tag on every post featuring John Mayer. Especially if the post features John Mayer nipples.

    Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to go listen to Want One until I feel clean again.

  5. Amanda
    January 21, 2010 at 5:43 am

    “Regular readers know how I feel about John Mayer.*

    *I HATE HIM.”

    These two sentiments alone make for a complete post. Above and beyond that is just garnish.

  6. Another Laurie
    January 21, 2010 at 7:25 am

    I have hated John Mayer with an undying passion ever since I first heard “Your Body Is a Wonderland,” without even knowing anything about him. At the time, I tried to talk myself out of it on the ground that you can’t judge someone based on one song, and besides, I wasn’t even sure what it was about the song that pushed my buttons so much. But it turns out that my instincts were correct.

    I would be curious to know other people’s thoughts about why that song is so objectionable (assuming people agree). It’s only one of three songs that make me writhe and yell, “Ugh! Ugh! Change the channel! I hate that song!” (The other two are “She’s Having My Baby” and “She’s a Lady.”) For this one though, I am a little unclear about why it bothers me so much. Part of it may be the way the song was marketed, i.e. the idea that women everywhere should immediately wet their pants because this guy is praising a woman’s body. But I’m not sure.

  7. Aww
    January 21, 2010 at 8:51 am

    Bah. I don’t think he’s that ugly. However, when it comes to artistic abilities, Joh Mayer’s got nothing but his pretty body. And he knows it.

    That’s why he’s so, um, “emotional”, when it comes to women.

  8. norbizness
    January 21, 2010 at 9:04 am

    John Mayer is the son of Bin Laden?

  9. preying mantis
    January 21, 2010 at 9:34 am

    “And who doesn’t love sleeve tattoos?”

    I could never dig sleeve tattoos. Jacket tattoos are great, and I can get down with a vest tattoo, but I find sleeve tattoos weird-looking.

    Though I suppose I’m now indebted to the man for having shared the knowledge that there are lots and lots of vaginas out there that just aren’t good enough. Prior to having read that snippet, I had been under the impression that the one’s rating of the campability of any given vagina was largely a function of how attracted you were to the woman to whom it belonged.

  10. P.T. Smith
    January 21, 2010 at 10:18 am

    I disapprove of the title of this post. Shouldn’t it just be something like “Everyone, be good to everyone: Keep them the eff away from John Mayer”?

    Ugh. I don’t usually care, at all, about an artists’ (using it loosely) personality/personal life, but when their music is crap, and their personality is crap, it gives me an odd satisfaction, mixed with disgust (which increases in direct correlation to their popularity).

    • January 21, 2010 at 10:24 am

      PT, the title is a play on a John Mayer song…

  11. January 21, 2010 at 10:22 am

    What is heartening is that it appears that John Mayer also thinks he should stay away from John Mayer. I wish that he also realized he should stay away from Twitter, Rolling Stones, and Feministe.

  12. P.T. Smith
    January 21, 2010 at 10:30 am


    I am glad, yet also somehow embarrased, that I did not know that.

    (Also, my Internet tone fear has now risen. I hope it was clear that my disapproval was mock disapproval.)

  13. January 21, 2010 at 11:37 am

    I am trying to understand the John Mayer hate.

  14. January 21, 2010 at 11:38 am

    PT, bless your heart that you didn’t know that. Seriously — you have avoided a really horrible but inexplicably popular John Mayer song! Good on you.

  15. Marc
    January 21, 2010 at 11:48 am

    Why does John Mayer have so much hair on his head and so little everywhere else? He’s like a hair mushroom cloud.

  16. Merrily
    January 21, 2010 at 12:09 pm

    Right on and thank you for also thinking his tats are hideous. It makes me not want to get a sleeve now because if John has a full sleeve then I too will be lame. I think I am firmly over getting any tattoos now, thanks for nothing John.

  17. preying mantis
    January 21, 2010 at 12:17 pm

    “I am trying to understand the John Mayer hate.”

    An exegesis.

  18. Colin Day
    January 21, 2010 at 1:38 pm

    @Marc #16

    Maybe he shaves his chest, torso and arms?

  19. January 21, 2010 at 2:57 pm

    you’re 100% dead-on with your assessment of Mayer, except for the talent part.

    Perhaps a bitter pill, but the guy can play. Like, really, really well. And as fun as johnbashing is, that’s not going to change.

    I hear Robert Johnson sold his soul to the devil. John Mayer seems to have sold his soul to–oh wait you have to have a soul to sell it.

  20. Icewyche
    January 21, 2010 at 3:02 pm

    this was so much hotter when Gavin Rossdale did it in 1996.

    That’s because Gavin Rossdale looks menacing and sexy and intelligent. John Mayer just looks stoned.

    John Mayer is the son of Bin Laden? BWAHA!

  21. Persia
    January 21, 2010 at 4:58 pm

    Another Laurie, it’s because it’s about the body. That’s all. Body, body, body, body. You, dear listener, aren’t a person, you’re just an Awesome Playground for Little John to enjoy.

  22. January 21, 2010 at 6:24 pm

    Shit, I think my libido may be ruined forever.

  23. BadKitty
    January 21, 2010 at 6:45 pm

    The only good thing about that photo is knowing that Mayer undergoes the hideous pain of body waxing. Savor the mental image of him shrieking as the hair is ripped from around his nipples.

  24. January 21, 2010 at 7:11 pm

    I gotta say, I am super not okay with body shaming, no matter who it’s directed at. Just a thought.

  25. William
    January 21, 2010 at 8:06 pm

    Perhaps a bitter pill, but the guy can play. Like, really, really well. And as fun as johnbashing is, that’s not going to change.

    You know who else can play well? Joe Satriani, Steve Vai, and Dream Theater. You know what Mayer has in common with all of those artists? A complete and utter lack of anything that could be vaguely described as an original idea. Sure, the guy has dextrous hands and he has practiced using them to elicit certain sounds from a guitar, but I don’t think that mechanical skill and artistic talent are necessarily the same thing.

    Put another way. I think it would be difficult to argue that Thomas Kinkaid doesn’t have a great eye for light and isn’t able to faithfully replicate certain scenes. Sure, he doesn’t bring any innovation or interest to the table, but he can sure paint the hell out of an eagle crying over an american flag.

  26. Another Laurie
    January 21, 2010 at 9:40 pm

    He may be able to play but he should definitely not sing or write lyrics.

  27. Faith
    January 21, 2010 at 10:52 pm

    I stumbled upon this article on Twitter. The cartooned little girl brandishing a large weapon intrigued me.

    I think that all of this John Mayer hate is way off of the mark, but everyone’s free to make an informed opinion. Isn’t that the goal of female empowerment–to think for one’s self, live and learn and then make judgements accordingly? Sans weapons, hopefully!

    “She’s a Lady” is on the list of shame? Really?! That’s hilarious!! :)

  28. January 22, 2010 at 10:07 am

    Women know better, they just try to “change” the person. John is who he is and if anyone likes him for that *great*. If a woman says she didn’t know (and she’s in the public eye) I would say, yeah right.

  29. Shelby
    January 22, 2010 at 10:22 am

    I feel so uncool. I’ve read all the links, reviewed the evidence, & am even familiar w/ his twitter feed…but I still feel like John Mayer’s douche level is just “meh.” I dunno, this probably says more about the obscene level of doucheocity in my every-day life. Kinda sad =(

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