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Jill has been blogging for Feministe since 2005.
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8 Responses

  1. Pagan
    Pagan January 26, 2010 at 3:18 pm |

    Great post. I could not agree more. I come from one of those families where the woman (me) earns more than the man (my husband) and where we consider ourselves EQUAL. Chores are split evenly and we both go off to work everyday. Every dime is a contribution to OUR future. Ten years now and going strong. The irony of the matter is that the preacher who married us predicted to my father in law we’d be divorced in no time because I refused to say OBEY in our wedding vows. Just shows how incredibly wrong the religious folks are.

  2. Theaetetus
    Theaetetus January 26, 2010 at 10:58 pm |

    My main opposition to the “screw marriage, if they’re going to be jerks, we don’t want to play in their sandbox” movement is that it abandons the substantive legal benefits of marriage – automatic legal and medical proxies, probate-free inheritance, citizenship for immigrant spouses, etc. It’s better to take marriage back and reshape it to what it was before the church got involved at the Council of Trent: a common law-based partnership between two people who, though unrelated, trust each other enough to form a partnership that trumps all other next-of-kin relationships.

  3. SomePerson
    SomePerson January 27, 2010 at 12:07 am |

    Reminds me of the Daily Show segment.
    “People who were discriminated against because of their race or religion can team up and discriminate against people for their sexual orientation without noticing the tiniest bit of irony.”

  4. Maguire
    Maguire January 27, 2010 at 1:29 am |

    This is a wonderful point that you are making that traditional marriage has already been altered, but we still have a long way to go before we have full equality for everyone.

    You might enjoy this interview series about professional women in online journalism,
    conducted by the fall 2009 Gender and Mass Media class from the University of Iowa.

  5. Athenia
    Athenia January 27, 2010 at 9:59 am |

    This makes sense to me. It seems to echo the whole micro-loan movement–poor women are usually better at repaying the loan than poor men AND they invest their money into their family.

    I don’t mean to generalize, but I can see how a woman who has the economic “power” in the relationship can provide a stable environment, maybe even better than a guy who has the economic power since power can mean different things to men and women (at least in a societal context).

  6. Comrade Kevin
    Comrade Kevin January 27, 2010 at 1:10 pm |

    Indeed, and it seems to me that the so-called traditional marriages are often the flimsiest of the flimsy. Those who get married for reasons beyond love or too young to really know themselves enough to determine what they really want from life are those that don’t make it very long in the first place.

  7. Niall
    Niall January 27, 2010 at 2:08 pm |

    Is anyone really surprised by this, though? Anyone besides conservatives, MRAs and anti-feminists?

    Still it’s always reassuring to read news like this…even when it confirms what one already knows. It reminded me of the findings of another study I read a while back:

    http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2007/10/071015102856.htm

  8. femspotter
    femspotter February 5, 2010 at 10:25 am |

    “Feminists have shifted the focus of marriage away from an economic necessity and towards a truly fulfilling partnership.”

    Right on. I love to examine how in my own marriage the tables have turned. Not economically – I’m a poor academic and writer by choice and my husband is more successful than I at earning money – but how I feel empowered in my relationship to ask for, demand and receive the things I want. I’m the tough love partner and he’s the nurturer. In so many ways, I feel I more resemble a husband of the Victorian period rather than an oppressed wife of any era. Again, I’m not talking about money. I’m talking about gender and how my husband and I are not aligning male/masculine and female/feminine the way it was before the feminist revolution of the 20th Century. I don’t know if other people can tell that this is the way we behave with each other at home or if they’re paying attention to how we hold doors for each other in public, etc. But I know…and that makes me feel powerful and fulfilled.

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