1. 39% think Obama should be impeached (for what, exactly, is unclear).
2. Only 42% believe Obama was born in the United States. 36% believe he was not born in the U.S., and 22 percent are unsure.
3. 63% believe Obama is a Socialist. 22% are unsure.
4. About a quarter believe that Obama wants the terrorists to win. 33% are unsure of whether or not he wants a terrorist victory.
5. 55% believe that Sarah Palin is more qualified to be president than Barack Obama. 33% are unsure. Only 14% believe that Palin is not more qualified than Obama. The survey did not ask participants if they understand the definition of “qualified.”
6. 2/3rds of Republicans either believe that Obama is a racist who hates white people, or aren’t sure if Obama is a racist who hates white people.
7. A third of Southern Republicans would like their state to secede from the Union. Which, hey, is better than conservative Southerners 150 years ago, so here’s to progress.
8. Only 7 percent of Republicans believe that Congress should make it easier for for workers to form or join labor unions. Nearly 70% do not believe that Congress should make it easier.
9. If illegal immigrants agreed to pay a fine and learn English, 25% of Republicans think it would be ok to let them stay in the United States.
10. More than half of Republicans do not believe that openly gay men and women should be allowed to serve in the military.
11. Only 7 percent of Republicans believe that same-sex couples should have the right to marry. Only 11 percent believe that same-sex couples should receive state or federal benefits — belying the idea that this is just about the “institution of marriage.”
12. Shockingly, even to me, only 8 percent of Republicans believe that gay men and women should be allowed to teach in public schools. 19% are not sure; 73% believe that gay men and women should not be allowed to teach.
13. In better news, 42% of Republicans think that sex ed should be taught in schools.
14. In less-good news, apparently most Republicans didn’t get decent sex ed, because 34% of them think the birth control pill is abortion, and 18% of them aren’t sure.
15. Apparently science is also lacking, because a large majority — 77% — of Republicans believe that public school students should be taught that the book of Genesis in the Bible explains how God created the world.
16. Back to good news: Feminism has infected even Republicans! 76% of them believe that marriage is an equal partnership between men and women, and 86% of them believe that a woman should work outside the home.
17. Back to bad news: A solid 31% of Republicans think that contraceptives should be outlawed. As noted above, 34% think the birth control pill is abortion; 76% think abortion is murder. I think it’s probably safe to say that most of that 34% also believe that abortion is murder. Does follow, then, that somewhere around 1/3 of Republicans think you have committed murder for being on the pill? How much time, do you think, should the more than 80% of American women who use hormonal contraception spend in jail for murder? And is flushing a tampon destroying evidence?
18. The one thing that the largest majority of Republicans agree on? Killing people! 91% support the death penalty, and only 4% oppose it. That’s a more significant margin of approval than the 67% who believe that Jesus Christ is the only way for an individual to go to Heaven.
Conclusion: America needs to invest significantly more in its educational system. And if only there was a way to teach children empathy.
*I have no idea what the methodology of this survey was, or how accurate it might be. I suspect it’s not all that representative, but maybe that’s because I live in New York and most of the Republicans I meet here are just not this totally ridiculous. But who knows, maybe I need to get out more.
UPDATE: Methodology is apparently quite solid. Wowza. Wasn’t trying to doubt Kos, just… don’t want to believe this is actually true.
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