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Jill has been blogging for Feministe since 2005.
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26 Responses

  1. Tom Foolery
    Tom Foolery March 26, 2010 at 4:32 pm |

    Now we really know what Paul Revere meant when he said the English were coming.

  2. Dawn.
    Dawn. March 26, 2010 at 7:47 pm |

    I am so using there are Communists in the funhouse from now on.

  3. Misspelled
    Misspelled March 26, 2010 at 9:28 pm |

    In marching band we used to say “I’m in Everett,” because Everett High School was one of the other bands and their mascot was the Crimson Tide.

  4. amandaw
    amandaw March 26, 2010 at 9:47 pm |

    Personally? My favorite is “Granny is stuck in traffic.” Partly because, in my language and culture, it’s so incognito! Also, NOT A PUN.

  5. Kat
    Kat March 26, 2010 at 10:42 pm |

    My boyfriend’s Danish; I’ve been saying There are communists in the funhouse for the past few months now! And whenever my period is in its last few days, I say, “They say the Berlin Wall may come down any day now. “

  6. Chally
    Chally March 27, 2010 at 4:36 am |

    Mate that’s hilarious.

  7. Fine
    Fine March 27, 2010 at 6:17 am |

    I’ve never heard anyone use the phrase about flags being out in Australia.

  8. UnFit
    UnFit March 27, 2010 at 12:32 pm |

    I’ve never heard of the cranberry woman.

    I have heard having the red flags out, and in Germany we say that a good sailor will sail the Red Sea. too.

  9. mzbitca
    mzbitca March 27, 2010 at 5:01 pm |

    I’ve been steadily using “The Eagle has landed.” Generally because getting my period is always a good thing as it means there is no need to worry about pregnancy. It started after a pregnancy scare with my then boyfriend. He always answered his work phone on speaker phone and we had been worried for a week. I just called and left him a message with that and he said when he got it he was immediately relieved. It’s stuck since then.

  10. Adrian
    Adrian March 27, 2010 at 5:10 pm |

    My favorites are the communists in the funhouse and granny stuck in traffic. And Misspelled, that’s hilarious! The Crimson Tide, seriously! It’s especially funny because one of my band directors is named Mrs. Everett.

  11. CassieC
    CassieC March 27, 2010 at 6:00 pm |

    I use “Happy No Baby Day” with my boyfriend. It’s the monthly celebration of the success of birth control: until it’s failed, you might not realize what a joyous occasion it is.

    I use “massive loss of my bodily life substance” otherwise because my flow is – heavy.

  12. gogobooty
    gogobooty March 27, 2010 at 6:20 pm |

    I especially enjoyed “I’m with Chico!” Like, bug off, I gotta date with a REAL menses!

  13. gogobooty
    gogobooty March 27, 2010 at 6:21 pm |

    Ooops, also Shark Week! <–great for beach destinations!

  14. oxygengrrl
    oxygengrrl March 27, 2010 at 7:20 pm |

    Don’t know if it’s still the case, but in Soviet Russia, folks called it the Red Army.

  15. PharaohKatt
    PharaohKatt March 27, 2010 at 8:48 pm |

    I’ve also never heard “The flags are out”. Generally people around here say “time of the month” or “on my rags”.
    Personally, I like being frank, both because it shocks people and because I’m sick of being ashamed of something that heaps of people with vaginas deal with. (not saying people who use euphemism are ashamed, just saying I used euphemism because i was ashamed).

  16. Etta Hollis
    Etta Hollis March 28, 2010 at 11:07 am |

    Where I lived in Germany we said “I’m having my days.” Except it was understood that “days” was an event, not just the plural of having a few bad days.

  17. Danielle
    Danielle March 28, 2010 at 11:44 am |

    Hi, I am from Holland and nobody says ‘the tomato soup is overcooked’. At least in my 32 years I have never heard it. Old people sometimes say that ‘grandma is visiting’ (no idea why…) but in general people just called it by its name. Maybe sometimes ‘the time of the month’ but I guess that’s quite universal?

    Oh and like in Germany, we too say that ‘a good sailor sails the red sea too’ :)

  18. Funnyguts
    Funnyguts March 28, 2010 at 11:50 am |

    Communists? In my funhouse?

  19. barbarian
    barbarian March 28, 2010 at 12:31 pm |

    I used to have a pet hamster called Moonbeam. So sometimes I used to call it “Moonie.”

  20. twistedpyxie
    twistedpyxie March 28, 2010 at 5:01 pm |

    I’m from Ireland, and I’ve never, ever heard that ‘jam rag’ one. And never heard the English one when I was living there, either.
    Gotta say I love the Communists In The Funhouse one, though. Totally going to use that next time ’round.

  21. ojd
    ojd March 28, 2010 at 6:35 pm |

    I heard lots of thinly and not-so-thinly-veiled insults aimed at the English when I lived in France (a condom is an “English cap”), but never that the English were coming or had arrived for menstruation. My French friends used fairly matter-of-fact terms that translate best to “cycle.” I don’t doubt that there are slang terms, as I know that many Americans find it less crass to say things like on the rag, and the funniest one I’ve ever heard, “riding the cotton pony.” As an American who would rather not use euphemisms for menstruation, it’s not all that surprising that I’d chose international friends who don’t use them either.

  22. Blue Jean
    Blue Jean March 28, 2010 at 7:09 pm |

    I usually like “I’m vampire bait today” but “Communists in the funhouse” is my new favorite.

  23. Chaldanya
    Chaldanya March 29, 2010 at 6:25 am |

    Hmm, I’m from the UK and have lived here all my life and I have never heard “Flying the Japanese Flag”. It makes me a little sceptical about the other euphemisms used.

    N

  24. Napalmnacey
    Napalmnacey March 29, 2010 at 3:04 pm |

    I like the IT Crowd’s interpretation of that commie one: “I’ve fallen to the Communists!”

  25. chaos_bird
    chaos_bird March 29, 2010 at 11:36 pm |

    I have started using Shark Week in the past year, after hearing it from a friend – and the week before, I typically refer to myself as “being in the Shark Cage.”

    And kudos to the Germans for the bit about a good sailor sailing the red seas too.

  26. twistedpyxie
    twistedpyxie March 30, 2010 at 3:04 am |

    I think it’s interesting that it seems like a lot of us who are actually, you know, from the countries being discussed here have never heard of the euphemisms that are said to be from where we’re from. Perhaps I’m a bit overly sensitive to these things, what with being Irish and it just being a week past Let’s All Stereotype And Appropriate The Irish Day, but doesn’t it seem a little… dodgy to anyone else?

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